Love That Liberates – The Art of Letting Others Be
- Brainz Magazine
- Oct 27
- 5 min read
Summer Jean is most known for her transformational work with trauma, major life transitions, grief, and deep healing of long-term suffering. She is the owner of Agami Karma Therapy and the online transformation program, Ascend.
Through years of working within the most intimate spaces of human connection, I’ve witnessed a quiet but powerful truth that can change the trajectory of any relationship, romantic, familial, or professional. It’s the difference between tension and ease, conflict and understanding, surviving and truly thriving. That truth is the Art of Letting Others Be. Let me be clear, it’s not easy. In fact, it may be one of the most difficult forms of love we’ll ever practice. For some, this level of emotional maturity may take a lifetime to develop. But for those willing to grow in awareness, it is one of the most liberating and transformative capacities we can embody.
“Love doesn’t always say, ‘I’ll fix it.’ Sometimes it says, ‘I trust you to find your way through.’”
What it really means to “let be”
To let someone be is to allow them to have their emotional experience without rushing in to fix, rescue, explain, control, or manage it.
When someone is having a bad day, let it be. When someone is storming through rage, grief, or sorrow, let it be. Let them move through the current of their own inner activation without trying to redirect their river.
Because when we interfere, we often take something from them, their right to feel, to process, and to find their own way through. We mistake our interference for love when, more often than not, it’s about soothing our own discomfort.
Why we interfere
Our impulse to insert ourselves into someone else’s emotional storm is usually rooted in insecurity, fear, or old conditioning. Over time, I’ve observed three core patterns:
1. “I must have done something wrong”
This fear-based narrative turns another person’s emotional state into a reflection of our worth. Did I say something wrong? Did I cause this? How can I be better? This response is rooted in the belief that we are not enough as we are.
2. “I can’t feel safe unless you’re okay”
This is the anxious nervous system in action. Someone else’s emotions trigger an internal sense of danger, a fear of rejection, abandonment, or punishment. I need to fix this so I can feel safe again. This response often turns love into caretaking or control.
3. “If I don’t act, I’ll lose connection”
This comes from the fear of being irrelevant, unseen, or pushed out. We rush in not to support but to secure our place. We equate being needed with being loved. Who am I without this relationship? I need this person to need me. This response touches our wounds within our self-identity, attachments, and co-dependencies.
All three patterns live quietly in the subconscious, in our nervous system, our emotional memory, and our core beliefs. The less aware we are of them, the more they rule how we manage the relationship.
The discipline of not interfering
It takes immense inner strength to resist the urge to fix what was never ours to fix. This is why the prerequisite to becoming an artist of “letting be” is to deepen your relationship with your own self. This means building your capacity to tolerate discomfort while staying anchored in your own center.
When you learn to regulate your inner landscape, you no longer need to manage someone else’s. You take responsibility for what you can control and release what you can’t.
You can stand in the storm without trying to change the weather. You can hold space without needing to be the hero.
This isn’t emotional detachment. This is emotional maturity.
The sacred space between
The space between two people is sacred. It’s where trust, respect, and true intimacy grow. When we stop pushing ourselves into someone else’s emotional experience for our own reassurance, we create room for:
Mutual trust: Each person learns they can hold their own. Trust builds confidence, both personal and relational. “The moment you stop needing the external world to change is the moment your personal power returns to you.” – Joe Dispenza
Safety: No one feels controlled, fixed, or invalidated. Both people feel accepted in their full humanity, their highs and lows, their good and bad days. “Secure connection is not built by rescuing someone from their emotions but by standing with them while they feel.” – Sue Johnson
Deeper connection: The bond isn’t built on rescuing but on presence, faith, and the freedom to be. “Empathy is not feeling for someone, it’s feeling with them without losing ourselves in their story.” – Brené Brown
This applies to every relationship, partners, parents, and children, friends, colleagues, even strangers. And here lies the deeper teaching, what is in one is in the whole. Understanding that we are energy beings, interconnected and interwoven.
When one person learns to hold their center and not entangle, that steadiness ripples through the entire relational field. It shifts the energetic bond. One regulated nervous system can stabilize two. One clear boundary can create mutual safety. One act of self-trust can rewrite the entire dynamic.
The messenger within
Learning to let others be is not passive, it’s deeply conscious and requires active discipline. Emotional activations are messengers. They are signals calling us to look inward, examine old beliefs, and integrate parts of ourselves that have remained unprocessed.
Our triggers often carry the weight of past feelings, thoughts, and meanings that were never fully made sense of. They become stuck in the mind and body, ruling from the subconscious.
When we meet these inner messengers with awareness, we free ourselves from repeating the same emotional loops, and in doing so, we allow others the space to meet their messengers too.
A new kind of love
Letting others be doesn’t mean turning away. It means standing beside, holding steady, and granting each soul the dignity of their own journey.
It asks us to face our insecurities, soothe our nervous systems, and rise into self-trust. When we do, our relationships stop being places of survival and become spaces where each person can breathe, grow, and just be.
“Secure love trusts the process, even when it’s messy, loud, or uncomfortable.”
When the activated person is ready, they can invite you in because you have become a safe place to land. Imagine a world where we no longer take things personally, get defensive, or leap to judgment born from assumption.
This kind of love cleans the energetic bond between you and the other. It liberates both. Once invited, you can then walk the path with them, side by side, from a place of compassion, knowing it’s not about you.
And from that liberated space, love grows, stronger, cleaner, freer. Both people shift into gratitude for one another, honored to simply witness and be witnessed. That’s a rare and sacred kind of relationship.
Read more from Summer Jean
Summer Jean, Integrative Sound Psychotherapist
Summer Jean, owner of Agami Karma Therapy, is a seasoned Integrative Sound Psychotherapist and mother of four, dedicated to empowering others to heal. Combining Western Psychology and Eastern Philosophy, she helps clients overcome trauma, fears, and major life transitions with a deeper sense of self. Helping those she works with to rewire unhealthy thinking patterns and break the habit of living out of balance. With over 20 years of experience and a distinguished speaking career in the medical, educational, and mental health fields, Summer’s work centers on ascending obstacles and fostering mind-body-soul balance. Passionate about spirituality and the human experience, she inspires others to create purposeful, empowered, soul-driven lives.
