It's Not You – It's Their Perception: The Real Reason You're Missing Promotions
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 2, 2024
- 5 min read
Written by Melissa Stone, Career Coach & HR Expert
Melissa Stone is an Irish Career Coach and leading HR Consultant with a passion for empowering individuals and organisations. Driven by a desire to make a significant impact, Melissa transitioned from her role as a Global HR Director to establishing her own career coaching and consulting firm.
On an otherwise uneventful Friday morning, my phone buzzed with a call from Beth, a composed yet clearly frustrated professional. With 20 years of experience and impressive qualifications under her belt, Beth has every reason to feel confident at work. Yet, despite her dedication and hard work, she tells me that she had just been passed over for a promotion for the second time in 3 years.
It’s the third time that week I’d had a call from someone who was frustrated with their untapped potential, declining confidence, and lack of career prospects following a missed promotion.
So what’s going wrong? They are working hard, they are skilled, they are experienced…
Why are they not securing a more senior role?
The truth is that the belief, "working hard and doing your job well is the key to career advancement," is a myth as old as time.
Because when it comes to securing an internal promotion, your skills and talent are only part of the equation.
The real determinant for how far you’ll go? What the key decision makers think of you.
Yes, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but promotions are often less about your output and more about how you’re perceived by the top. Your personality, your relationships, and how well you “fit” with the team and company culture often outweigh the actual work you’ve done.
4 reasons why perception outweighs performance
1. What they think of your performance
In most workplaces, quietly excelling at your job simply isn’t enough. Not only are others probably taking credit for your work if they see a gap where credit is due, quite frankly if your contributions are going unnoticed by management, they may as well not exist.
Plus, if you’re the reason for this because you keep promoting “the team” or other individuals in an effort to progress your people or be seen as a “nice guy”, then you only have yourself to blame for not advocating for you.
The decision makers who hold the keys to your promotion are often removed from your day-to-day tasks. Meaning they’re relying on second-hand impressions, fleeting interactions, and what everyone says about you…rather than your actual performance. If you’re expecting them to know all about your late nights, working through lunch, dedication to excellence in all you do, or top tier performance when you’re not actually communicating this…then you’re expecting the improbable.
The takeaway: If you’re not actively ensuring that key people know what you’re accomplishing, and are acutely aware of your performance, then you’re giving them no reason to think you’re ready for the next step.
2. What they think of your “cultural fit”
Cultural fit is a buzzword that sounds harmless, but disguises a lot.
To be clear, securing a promotion is quite often less about your qualifications and more about whether people (including senior people) feel comfortable with you in a position of authority. Unfortunately, this can boil down to subjective criteria like your personality traits, shared hobbies, similar backgrounds, or even an unspoken preference for people who act or think like the current leadership.
The reality: Promotions often go to those who fit into an existing mold, leaving little room for diversity of thought, experience, or style. If you’re not going to sell your soul to the devil in order to fit a mould that simply isn’t you – then it’s time to accept reality and find an organisation that is a far better fit with your values and who you are.
3. What they think of your likeability
Time to get real: Managers are human, and most of them are more likely to promote someone they like, than someone they don’t.
What’s worse, if you and your Manager clash it can makes things even more difficult for you as they create a brand or story of you with decision makers that reflects their view —even if you are actually very well liked, respected and valued by your peers.
The harsh truth: You’ve got to find that common ground with your Manager – creating a brand and reputation that will help to advance your career. If this is going to be impossible, it may be worth pro-actively fostering direct relationships with the decision-makers yourself by joining committees or projects, raising your hand to take on opportunities or work they are interested in or across, or simply connecting with them and chatting over coffee when you see the opportunity.
Otherwise, you’re essentially leaving your reputation – and future career advancement – in the hands of your Manager.
4. What they think of your potential
When decision makers evaluate candidates for promotion, they’re not just looking at what they’ve done—they’re imagining what they could do.
This perception of potential often comes down to how well you’ve sold your ability to lead, innovate, and inspire confidence. If you’re seen as someone who shies away from challenges or avoids taking initiative, it may overshadow your track record of delivering results.
Speaking up about your achievements, stepping out of your comfort zone to lead challenging projects, and volunteering for opportunities will help you stay on their radar.
What you should know: Leadership potential isn’t just about your current capability; it’s about a convincing picture of your future capabilities, too. If you can’t manage perceptions and actively cultivate a reputation as someone they can rely on to deliver results in the future, then you’re not mitigate the risk of the promotion going to someone else.
Hard work, talent and experience goes a long way. But the workplace is not a pure meritocracy. Success hinges on more than just your skills and hard work.
Your ability to manage your brand and the perception decision makers have of you, cultivating a positive reputation as a team player and leader will ultimately determine your career trajectory.
And ultimately, if you’re not controlling the narrative about who you are and what you bring to the table, someone else will. And that’s a gamble you can’t afford to take.
Melissa Stone, Career Coach & HR Expert
Melissa Stone is an Irish Career Coach and leading HR Consultant with a passion for empowering individuals and organisations. Driven by a desire to make a significant impact, Melissa transitioned from her role as a Global HR Director to establishing her own career coaching and consulting firm. Her unique approach combines positive psychology and insights with practical strategies, guiding clients to achieving the level of success they want and deserve.
