How To Create Unconditional Love Of The Self
- Apr 30, 2023
- 5 min read
Updated: May 24, 2023
Written by: Virinder Lail, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When working with clients, one of the most common phenomena I’ve encountered is a lack of self-love. I call it the big human dis-ease. One we learn, that then becomes a habit. Or one we create for us at the soul level to later realise the love that’s our essence. To understand this further we first need to know what is love and unconditional love. By understanding unconditional love, we can re-programme ourselves to create more of it in our lives.
What is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is pure and often spontaneous love, that doesn’t ask for anything in return. It’s the full appreciation and acceptance of something or someone regardless of how they respond to you. True unconditional love excludes no one or nothing, including the self. It often starts with the self. That’s because when you love yourself fully, you naturally move to love all others without effort. Unconditional love is an energetic vibration or frequency that’s endless in supply. It will never run out and you can never give too much away. It can show up in a variety of ways such as a warm smile, a compassionate deed, a kind word, as well as romantic gestures.
How love leads to Peace, Harmony, and Unity
Through aligning with and opening to our unconditional love, we connect and relate with all things which leads to unity. This can be done on many levels such as through our relationships with friends, family, romantic partners, all humanity, animals, pets, and our natural or physical environments. This is the human way to experience the oneness, the spiritual truth of who we are. Each of us is connected through the divine source energy, that exists in everything. In everyone. It takes an open heart and higher consciousness to experience this. It’s the perfect natural way to create peace and harmony in our world.
When we truly love ourselves, it’s easy for us to love all others and applaud their successes. We don’t feel a need to compete with anyone else and know that we are enough. When in this vibration, we don’t put anyone down to make ourselves feel better. We don’t harm anyone through our words or actions. This is how love can create peace in our world. Each of us can play our part in achieving this by keeping our individual consciousness at this high vibration of love.
Love is the essence of experiencing joy
Many people desire to have more joy in their lives. To live a life of joy. And love is the essence of joy. It’s the love we have for something that makes it joyful. We enjoy the food we love. We enjoy dancing or singing to the music and songs we love. Essentially, we enjoy doing and experiencing the things we love to do. The love we have for the things we enjoy is what inspires and excites us to do them. We can cultivate more joy in our lives by simply becoming more appreciative of what we have and getting excited about our desires. And by not focussing on what we don’t want in our lives.
The expectation of unconditional love at birth
One of my non-physical spiritual mentors once told me that when we incarnate, or the soul enters the body, we come straight in from an experience of unconditional love. From alignment with our true nature and divine essence. This means we perceive whatever we first experience as unconditional love, regardless of what we actually experience through the circumstances our soul’s chosen for its growth. Unfortunately, the reality of entering a human body does not always start with an experience of unconditional love. We can encounter experiences of abandonment and condition-based love that can create long-lasting trauma and limitations. This results in the development of false beliefs such as feeling not lovable or unworthy. Some of this is often passed on through several generations. You may ask why the soul would choose such an experience. There could be many reasons related to any specific soul’s journey. For example, by experiencing no love intensely, we value love more. When a person chooses to change such an imprint, it takes a great deal of commitment and energy to work through it. Such traumas can also be the catalyst for greater awakening and breaking the old inherited cycles.
Overcoming barriers to self-love and unconditional love
The lack of self-love comes from a range of experiences that result in the creation of false beliefs about the self. There’s often much unworthiness which limits the fulfilment of one’s potential. The result is many people carry feelings of fear, guilt, shame, and resentment when it comes to loving the self. Until we truly love ourselves, it can be difficult to express and share our love with others. Even those that are most dear to us.
A big barrier to cultivating self-love is self-judgement. One of my favourite phrases I use is “when you are judging yourself, you are not loving yourself.” Through greater self-acceptance, you can go beyond any perceived mistakes you make and know that you are always enough. Always worthy. Our false beliefs and conditioning frequently get in the way of this. That’s why we move into toxic feelings of guilt and shame. It’s important to know that it’s your divine right to love yourself and see your own perfection in every way. You can usually find love or no love behind every emotion we experience. Some would say we essentially operate from love or fear. You can consciously choose to be love and not deny yourself love at any time. There’s nothing selfish about it. By noticing and dismissing negative thoughts and words we use towards ourselves, we prevent the creation of negative feelings and emotions and therefore create more self-love.
Sometimes it’s difficult to love someone who has treated you in an unloving way. Here you can remain in your higher consciousness and state of love. Just love them without judging them or their actions. Any judgement of another will only bring you down to a lower vibration. The same vibration they are acting from. Also, if you love someone at a soul-to-soul level, you go beyond the person-to-person level where it is very easy to get entangled with the circumstances and details. Unconditional love is always operating at the soul-to-soul level.
Creating more self-love and unconditional love is one of the areas I have had tremendous client success with. I assist with identifying and resolving the subconscious false beliefs that limit one’s potential and full enjoyment of life. Developing a greater amount of self-love is also a huge magnet for attracting love from others into one’s life. Just connect with me for a free consultation or visit my website to find out more about my services.
Virinder Lail, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Virinder Lail is a highly accomplished Personal Transformation Coach bringing a unique blend of spirituality and channelled insight to his work. His holistic approach operates at the mind, body, and soul levels across all pillars of life. His expertise includes identifying the root of trauma and resolving hidden beliefs preventing clients from realising their dreams. He is a messenger and teacher of how our spiritual being underlines and integrates with the human experience. His mission is to assist humanity’s evolution of consciousness and assist people to fulfil their greatest potential and live the peaceful and harmonious life they love.
