How To Bring Balance Into Your Life – Six Signposts To Finding Calm, Acceptance And Equanimity
Updated: Oct 14, 2024
Written by Penny McFarlane, Author & Holistic Therapist
Penny McFarlane is an ex-teacher, author, children’s therapist and holistic complementary medicine practitioner. With an MA in Professional Writing, a post grad diploma in Dramatherapy and registered qualifications in Yoga, Kinesiology, Reflexology and Reiki, she combines, through her books, the two things she loves best are writing and healing.
As we near the Autumn Equinox at the end of September, like at the Spring Equinox, the hours of light and darkness are coming into balance. This time, however, it is the northern hemisphere which is being plunged into winter, while the southern hemisphere eagerly awaits the arrival of summer. The sun is entering the sigh of Libra, the scales: the weighing up, the making equal of day and night, the reflecting on our lives to bring them into balance. Or so we hope.
Achieving this sense of balance, of calm and serenity in our lives is not easy, however. There is a tendency to want to hang on to the summer, to the ‘good times’, to that feeling of joy and abundance that the long, lazy, hopefully sun-filled days brings. It is hard, if you are in the northern hemisphere, not to view the colder, darker days ahead with dread.
But it is not impossible.
1. Slow down and savour the change
To align yourself with the energy of this time of year rather than rail against it, is to build a reverence for nature’s deep reservoir of wisdom and bring what is happening in the external world into your internal landscape. From now on the days will get shorter, the nights longer and the weather colder. Everything in nature, including ourselves, must respond to this time of change or reap the consequences. Those animals who know they will not survive the freezing temperatures, especially in some northern climes, are making preparations to hibernate. We too should be noticing the slowing down of our bodies and react appropriately to this decreasing energy.
2. Store and protect
Everything is beginning to dwindle rapidly and there is a sense of urgency in the air: urgency to bring everything indoors, to store and protect from the harsher weather ahead. Preparations and intentions, both outwardly and inwardly must be made for the coming winter.
Bring inside from the garden anything which will not survive the winter storms for example furniture, tender plants. Do this consciously and feel as if you are drawing back into yourself as you do so.
Look for the last of the fruits or vegetables which are in season, buy in bulk and make soups to freeze. Have the sense of being an animal about to hibernate who must first build up its food stores for the winter.
3. Sort and select
The Native Americans call this season the ‘Falling Leaves Time’ and believe that it should be a time for intellectual focus: an interesting correlation to our tradition of returning to school and work after the summer holidays! There is a crispness in the air and a feeling of having to take up the reins of life again after the rest and relaxation of the holidays.
Although there may be sorrow at the passing of summer there is also renewed motivation and, for the more organised and methodical among us, a sense of relief at getting down to sorting out our lives again. Just as autumn is a time for sieving the wheat from the chaff so that we store for winter only that which will serve us, so we need to look at what best serves us and let go of that which does not. The energy now reminds us of the ‘decluttering’ and purification of Imbolc.
Make a ‘To do’ list of things you want to achieve over the winter. This is a time to focus on mental exercise: the long dark nights being ideal for new projects, new learning. Could you finally sort those photographs and make albums? What about writing your memoires or enrolling to learn a new skill?
4. Love and let go
Traditional Chinese Medicine associates the season of autumn with the lungs and the large intestine. The lungs are the part of the body which connect us with the outside world: they are our means of taking that which is outside into ourselves in order to assimilate it and use it for our own growth and well-being. The large intestine, on the other hand, is the mechanism by which we reject that which we no longer need. Problems occur when we ‘hold on’ and do not ‘let go’. We can see how the metaphorical implications of the workings of both organs fit into the theme of the season.
The correlation with the dysfunctions of the large intestine and symbolism of ’holding on’ and ’letting go’ is obvious. However, again, it is interesting to reflect that, on the whole, constipation and obesity are more prevalent in our Western society today than are diarrhoea (unless the symptom of another disease) and emaciation. Just as eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia are associated with control, so there is an element of control in our ‘holding on’ to excess weight or unwanted waste matter. ‘Even if I feel out of control with external situations at least I can control that which goes on internally’ is the way our mind reasons and we have seen evidence of this is the difficulties sometimes experienced in potty training children.
Learning to love, accept what is, and let go is a spiritual practice. Not an easy one but of vital importance is we are going to address the next phase of our lives with equanimity. Endings mark transition points in our lives: points from which we are able to start afresh and true healing and growth can come from a transition properly acknowledged. Ritual is a way of acknowledging transition. Our Celtic ancestors used ritual in all their seasonal festivities, and many indigenous societies in less developed parts of the world still do. We all need ritual to express our sense of belonging.
Think about something you feel is coming or has come to an end and of which you need to let go. Could you use a ritual to help you with this? Light a candle, write a letter which will never be sent, plant a rosebush, bury something symbolic in the garden: all these are simple acts or gestures but using ritual means you are consciously letting go and therefore rendering the act that much more meaningful.
5. Breathe and be aware
Our breath is our interface with the outside world. The lungs are the only organs in the body which are constantly interchanging the inner for the outer. Breathing correctly can help us let go, especially when we learn how to deeply exhale and emit the toxic air. To breathe deeply means to embrace life on all its levels and it is interesting to ponder on the rise in popularity of smoking which restricts our breathing and our engagement with life, preventing us from inhaling life fully and feeling it on deeper levels.
Try five minutes a day of deep diaphragmatic breathing by placing your hands on your lower abdomen, middle fingers touching and breathe in deeply through your nose until you feel your middle fingers coming apart a little as the diaphragm descends. (Breathing in for the count of four should be enough). Then exhale slowly again through your nose for the count of six and watch the middle fingers come back together as the diaphragm rises.
NB. Stop this exercise immediately and seek medical advice if you become dizzy or light headed.
Whenever you can during the day become aware of your inner body. Use the breathing exercise above (one or two conscious breaths should suffice) and register your own energy. This exercise can help us keep our boundaries and stay grounded when dealing with difficult people or situations.
6. Reflect and renew
As with the Spring Equinox this is the time for reconciling opposites, to bring those opposing forces within ourselves, male and female, dark and light, forceful and passive into balance. This calls for reflection, for connecting deeply with the Earth’s rhythmic heartbeats and drawing on her deep reservoir of wisdom.
Go out into nature, face west and think about your life as a whole. Has it been fulfilling and if not, can you bring yourself to understand what lessons it may have been trying to teach you? It is never too late to learn and, as the saying goes, we learn more by our mistakes than our successes.
Take a long walk through the countryside, preferably through a wood, or, if you do not live in the country, choose a park with trees. Kick up the fallen leaves as you walk and imagine you are kicking away any self-limiting beliefs, situations or even people who hold you back. This is the first day of the rest of your life; a clean page.
You can start again right here, right now.
If you would like to know more about how to live more naturally in sync with your own rhythms and those of nature, take a peek at my book Writing in Rhythm.
Read more from Penny McFarlane
Penny McFarlane, Author & Holistic Therapist
Penny McFarlane is an ex-teacher, author, children’s therapist and holistic complementary medicine practitioner. With an MA in Professional Writing, a post grad diploma in Dramatherapy and registered qualifications in Yoga, Kinesiology, Reflexology and Reiki, she combines, through her books, the two things she loves best are writing and healing. A lifetime’s interest in the mystical and magical has led her to exploring potential: what we were, what we are and what we are capable of being. Her books reflect her mission: to reconnect people to their innermost selves; to finding peace and potential to dance on the softened edges of life.
