Giving Up Was Not An Option, Do Or Die – Stories Of Courage, Pain, Resilience And Freedom
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 28, 2021
- 7 min read
Written by: Selina Cheshire, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Are you having a mental struggle and feel like you are on a rollercoaster ride and the future is unclear? Are you asking yourself why am I having this experience why am I choosing this experience? Wait a minute and hear this.
Selina Cheshire is a mother, an author of 2 books, a wellness coach, a public speaker, and a cancer survivor of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma stage 4 and divorced after 7 years of marriage, painful as it was, it ended up being a blessing.
Selina was on the verge of giving up on life and after looking in the mirror, she discovered that the person looking back at her was just skin and bones, her eyes were sunken in yet so big, her skin was unbelievably dark, yes, she knew she was dark, but this was beyond her understanding, something was bad. She was in extreme pain and just caught herself about to go through a tunnel, just in time. When she looked at her daughter, begging her to stay, she decided to give up on dying and take up another way of life. She was so convinced that she needed to be there to support her children, to hold and play with my grandchildren.
When she was lying on the hospital bed, a lot of dark thoughts were going through her mind, thoughts of a nasty divorce that left her with nothing but a sewing machine, thoughts of losing her mother when she was only 14 years old, living a life without anyone to direct through her adolescence years,or anyone to cheer her on, thoughts of dying without leaving anything, no legacy for the future generation challenged her.
‘’You have experienced the loss of your lovely mother through death, not by choice but by divine direction. How would it be like to continue in this marriage when you fully know that you have lost the marriage, it’s over, or just move on and open another page in your life? Die or divorce? Which of the two do you think is a better option? I am sure you will agree with me that when the person you love makes you feel unworthy, death would be better. You might be confused but, living in an environment you know you are treated as if you are unworthy is worse than dying. Can you not go out there and paint your own canvas, a fresh one? My own canvas looks more enticing’’ Self talk Selina was having at her darkest moment and that made her decision quickly.
She asked for a divorce for her sanity’s sake and that of her kids even though she did not have any idea how things were going to end up like. She did not want to die young leaving her children on their own like she grew up without a mother, she had to do it for them even though she had no clue how she was going to survive because she had no job, no qualifications, only she had trust on the universe, and trusted God her creator. She had her sewing machine and her faith, that was enough for that moment.
After leaving the marriage home, she had no clue where she was going and who was going to give her shelter while she was trying to map out a way for her future. Her first thought was to go to her older brother’s place, so she headed there. She stayed one week then decided to go to Mozambique, Beira for a week of swimming in the Indian Ocean and try to come up with a plan. This was an amazing time because it helped her clear a lot from her thoughts and relax a bit, thanks to her friend Emilia Reid whose parents lived in Beira and could accommodate her. After a week of fun and rest, it was time to go back to reality.
As if she was not going through confusion and stress of her own, her brother’s sisters- in-law saw it fit to chase her from their sister’s home because they thought she was not a good fit to be in their environment. She had to go even though it was not easy, she did not know where she was going, no one even cared. She went to another brother who lived in a different city. She stayed there for a few months before her brother’s wife chased her out of their home, again. She became homeless and the systems in her home country do not have anything in place they could offer her or anyone in similar situations. She just had to survive on the sympathy of family members. She went to an aunt, but the house was a bit too small. The aunt’s daughter felt sorry for Selina and offered her temporary accommodation in her house. To cut the story short, she ended up being able to get her own place and opened a repair and sewing shop!!!! That was an exciting time for Selina. Who could have ever dreamt that one day she could look after herself and be someone in society?
Selina changed her mind, stopped feeling sorry for herself. She took a big leap of faith and went to train as a teacher, worked for 3 years and left teaching because the money was not enough to look after her children, siblings, and herself, even though she enjoyed teaching. She moved countries in search of a better life with courage and determination and ended up in England. She had no clue about how things worked. She ended up as an asylum seeker and stayed a life of being looked after by the government for a few years. She hated it because she was had been used to looking after herself, she had to swallow her pride for some time and start working on herself, her attitude and learn the principles of life in a different country.
In 2008, she finally got her freedom, indefinite leave to remain in the U.K. She had been training as a Christian Science Nurse, while waiting, working with people who do not take medication but depend on prayer for their healing from any sickness, or any other challenges of life like stress or depression. She started working as soon as she was given the liberty to do so. She enjoyed it so much that she was offering her services to everyone and anyone in the U.K. Selina was driving around and flying as needed. She stopped looking after herself, neglecting the things she was taught when growing up, cooking, and spending time with family. She only thought about making money, feeding others such that her body ended up giving in. She developed cancer which was scary, a wake-up call. She is here today because she had to take drastic actions, had to change her lifestyle, and had to do it fast. Unfortunately, she did not have any idea that she could get help from others who had been trained not have been, she had to do it the hard way, trial and error while researching. The reason she decided to be a Wellness Coach was to serve others, and to share knowledge of the power of mind with those who are not aware of it.
The are two ways to learn these earthly lessons which she has come to understand.
The hard and long way is unconsciously through pain and suffering, which she endured mostly in her life.
The fast and pleasant way is through consciously seeking the appropriate knowledge and growing in the appropriate season. If you can use the seasons wisely, your life will be a lot smoother and empowered for you.
You might be surprised to see that your thoughts are everything. Take a moment and look around you, everything you see started as an idea, and grew as it was shared and expressed, until it grew into a physical object. You become what you think about. Your life can be what you are imagining and believing in. The world is literally your mirror, enabling you to experience in the physical plane what you hold or carry as truth – until you change it. This is true internally and you know it, and most people do, and is the reason most people know instinctively that positive or right thinking works.
Selina is here because she changed her thoughts about who she was. She was not a sick a person, but her body was reacting to something that she was putting in it, she was doing something wrong, she needed to change everything she was doing to make it work for her. She began to see myself as a happy, healthy, and free individual. You can change your situation and begin to live a life on your own terms by taking charge of your own health and you will become unstoppable.
What would it look like if you were able to get past your limitation and insecurity? Just imagine walking in the woods, walking by the lake, sea or even a river, reconnecting with yourself? How would you feel?
Selina knows this is possible because she was there. She thought she had reached a point of no return; she was lying to herself. The moment she changed her mind, her thoughts, everything went in her favour.
You are powerful and nothing can stop you from achieving what you want in this life. Take charge, you are worthy, you are precious. Never allow someone’s opinions about you to control who you are.
Do not forget Selina is a coach and here to help. She is on Face Book, Instagram, and Linked as Selina Cheshire and on her website. Let’s do this together and she is glad and excited to serve.
Do not forget I am a coach and here to help. I am on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn as Selina Cheshire. Let’s do this together and glad and excited to serve. And visit my website for more info!
Selina Cheshire, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
At the age of 14, Selina was requested to look after her young siblings when her mum was on her death bed. She married young because she thought it could help her brothers in a better way, being a married woman. She married for the wrong reason, divorced early with nothing but her sewing machine. She became obsessed with upgrading herself and ended up in the U.K. all alone. With courage and persistence, she changed the status quo, survived stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Now she is teaching others to love themselves regardless, sharing her story as a speaker and coach around the globe. She is dedicated to empowering 1 million women in her lifetime.
