From Bullying and Depression to a Mission of Connection

Sydney, Australia – 2026 – Have you ever wondered what someone around you might be going through behind the smile you see? For Sam Lee, this question is deeply personal. Today, Sam is a multi-award-winning social skills coach, certified life coach and Neuro-Linguistic Programming practitioner, published author, speaker and founder of Connect with Confidence. But his journey to helping others was shaped by some of the darkest experiences of his life.

From Hong Kong to Australia

Sam moved from Hong Kong to Australia with his family when he was four years old. His parents wanted to create a better lifestyle and future for him and his brother in Sydney.

Growing up, English was not Sam’s first language. He describes himself as a shy, nervous and introverted young person who struggled with confidence. Those characteristics made him vulnerable to bullying.

One experience during university remains particularly vivid. While playing basketball and minding his own business, a young man approached him from behind and punched him in the head. The individual and his friends then directed racist comments towards him, including telling him to “go back to China.”

“I was scared and shocked because this had never happened to me before,” Sam recalls. The bullying did not stop there.

Sam also experienced cyberbullying and online trolling. Whenever he posted something on social media, negative comments and offensive messages could quickly follow. Over time, these experiences affected how he saw himself and how safe he felt expressing himself publicly.

When pain gets bottled up

For Sam, one of the greatest challenges was not simply experiencing hurtful comments or attacks. It was learning how to process the emotions that came with them. He describes himself as someone who was highly sensitive and emotionally affected by personal attacks, while also strongly disliking confrontation.

Rather than expressing his feelings, he often bottled them up. That emotional suppression became increasingly difficult to manage. At the same time, some friendships became strained as his negativity and emotional struggles intensified.

Then came another devastating experience. Sam had fallen in love with someone he had met through mutual friends. Eventually, the relationship ended, leaving him devastated.

The combination of bullying, university pressures, social challenges and heartbreak became a major turning point in his mental health.

Three hospitalisations

Sam was eventually admitted to a mental health ward on three separate occasions while experiencing severe depression. His university studies were delayed. He became unemployed and spent significant periods of time at home, struggling to find motivation and direction.

At his lowest point, Sam reached a moment where he felt that he could not continue living with the pain. Then something changed. He describes experiencing a powerful realisation that there had to be more to life. That moment became a turning point.

Instead of continuing down the same path, Sam began making difficult changes. He eventually decided to leave university, despite being close to completing his degree.

He distanced himself from relationships that he felt were toxic or unhealthy and began reconnecting with supportive people who encouraged him and lifted his spirits. Those decisions did not magically solve everything, but they became part of a new chapter.

From sales to social skills coaching

Sam eventually discovered that his background in sales gave him something he had once struggled with, an opportunity to communicate with people. Working as a real estate agent and in other sales roles challenged him to become more outgoing, develop stronger communication skills and build relationships with people from different backgrounds.

He began to realise that the very skills he once struggled with could become his greatest strengths. Then, in 2017, another idea emerged. Sam felt intuitively that he should write a book about social skills.

He originally thought it would take around a year. It took two and a half years.

In 2019, he published “The Social Way,” a self-help book focused on improving social skills and helping people build meaningful friendships with people they genuinely resonate with.

The book was more than a publication. For Sam, it was a message, a message to people who bully others about the consequences their actions can have, and a message to people who have experienced bullying, you do not have to face the world alone.

Turning pain into purpose

Sam's experience ultimately inspired him to pivot his career from real estate and sales into coaching. Today, through Connect with Confidence, he helps professionals, entrepreneurs and business owners develop confidence in their social skills, communication and relationships.

He has trained more than 1,000 people, including executives, lawyers, accountants, teachers, banking professionals and information technology (IT) professionals.

His work has also included collaboration with the New South Wales (NSW) Government, helping organisations improve workplace culture through ethical social skills and efforts to address workplace bullying.

His message is simple, social skills should be used ethically, to connect, not manipulate, to build people up, not tear them down.

A personal commitment to mental health

Mental health advocacy remains deeply important to Sam. He supports organisations such as Beyond Blue and donates a portion of the profits from his coaching business towards supporting mental health initiatives.

His commitment became even more personal when he lost a basketball friend to suicide. “When I heard the news, I was devastated,” Sam says. “He looked fine when I saw him. Sometimes you simply cannot know what someone is going through by looking at them.”

That experience reinforced something Sam had already learned through his own journey. We cannot always see the battles that other people are fighting.

Ask someone if they are okay

In an increasingly connected digital world, Sam believes there is an important paradox. People have more ways than ever to communicate, yet many can still feel incredibly isolated.

Cyberbullying, online negativity and social pressure can affect people deeply, particularly young people who are still developing their identity and sense of self.

Sam encourages people to look beyond the surface. Ask a friend, a colleague, a family member or someone you haven't heard from in a while. Most importantly, genuinely listen to the answer.

Sometimes a simple conversation can be the beginning of someone feeling less alone.

A mission born from experience

Sam's story has taken him from a shy young person struggling with confidence and bullying, through some of the darkest periods of his life, to becoming an advocate for connection and ethical social skills. He now sees his experiences not as something that defines him, but as something that helped shape his purpose.

His mission and vision are simple, “To make the world a safer place to live in with ethical social skills, so the world can be a more connected place to live in.”

For Sam, confidence is not about becoming the loudest person in the room. It is about having the courage to connect, surrounding yourself with people who genuinely support you and learning to communicate rather than suppressing what you feel. Sometimes, it is simply about having the courage to ask another person, “Are you okay?”

About Sam Lee

Sam Lee is a multi-award-winning social skills coach, certified life coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, published author, keynote speaker and founder of Connect with Confidence.

He is the author of The Social Way and Connect with Confidence and has trained more than 1,000 professionals and business leaders in social skills, confidence and communication. His work focuses on helping people build stronger connections, communicate with confidence and develop ethical social skills that contribute to healthier personal and professional relationships.

Mission is to make the world a safer place to live in with ethical social skills so the world can be a more connected place to live in.