Flailing Or Flourishing? How To Start Flourishing Today
- Mar 13, 2022
- 4 min read
Updated: May 11, 2022
Written by: Juanita Viale, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Amidst the distraction of the chaotic events currently unfolding in our world, we can easily and unknowingly be influenced by the energy of the negative narratives that are charging our conversations, both online and offline.
It is during these highly charged times that we can use these social distractions as cues to mindfully check in with our internal landscape by asking the fundamental question: How satisfied am I with my life?
But is this really the most effective question to ask yourself?
According to the Authentic Happiness theory, this question would be the gold standard, yet one of its weaknesses is the subjective nature of the question itself because it is usually determined by how we feel at the moment the question is being asked.
A more directed question to ask yourself is “Am I flailing or flourishing in my life?”
Based on the Well-Being theory, this question takes into account well-being as a construct made up of five elements called the PERMA model: Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Purpose, and Achievement. (Seligman, 2012)
By tending to each one of these areas in the PERMA model, we are essentially creating a dynamic framework where we can experience the creation and journey of our own well-being.
This is empowerment.
The perspective of where we stand in our own lives as the creator versus the actor. Our wellbeing and happiness are not static dimensions of our lives, they are dynamic in their ever-evolving growth and expanding nature. We feel bad when resist it because change is uncomfortable and inconvenient and our brains are wired to stay “Safe”.
Underpinning the Well-Being theory is our character strength. So in order to maximize these five elements, we need to know what our character strengths are so that we can use them as resources and foundations to build upon for each of the five elements that contribute to flourishing.
By building upon the main signature strengths that are natural to us, we are increasing our experiences of mild everyday positive emotions which over time broadens and builds our awareness and opens our minds which in turn builds up our vantage resources. (Fredrickson, 1998,2001). Every one of us has a strength, a natural and dominant characteristic or ability of our personality that comes effortlessly. Are you a good listener? Perhaps you're creative through art or writing, or someone who loves to work in teams.
Sometimes we go through our busy days, and after a while, for varying personal reasons or experiences, we lose touch with the very essence of ourselves. And by mental habit, we hold the people, things and experiences outside of ourselves accountable for the dismay when really, we just need to reconnect with who we really are.
Knowing your character strengths will help you immensely reconnect with yourself because these are the foundations and gifts of your human nature. By mindfully practicing our character strengths daily we are guiding our awareness back to the truest version of ourselves.
As you use your character strengths in moments throughout the day, you generate more positive emotion. These positive micro-moments add up and lead to a new way of being. This dynamic is what helps you succeed in making the changes you desire in your lifestyle.
By increasing our days with more moments of positive emotions directed to healthy behavoirs and activities, we increase our incentive salience for cues of those healthy behaviors. This is known as the upward spiral theory of lifestyle change. (Fredrickson, 2013)
Whether you are taking delight in trying out a new green juice, going to yoga or go on a hike, the other aspects of that activity ( the people, the gear, the shared values, the brand, etc. ) is what spontaneously inspires you to keep doing that activity.
This is what flourishing is about.
It’s about each area of your life is being maximized so that you are living your life with more positive emotion, deeper meaning, better relationships and accomplishment. Our lives are like a diamond, they are multi-dimensional as well as our happiness and wellbeing.
Remember, when you want some aspect of your life to change, you have to match that desire with a change in yourself. And the easiest way, is by starting from your strengths, what comes inherently easy for you, and to use your strength(s) daily to build upon.
To begin your journey in flourishing, here is an easy exercise that you can do from anywhere at anytime.
Take the free online survey to find out your signature strengths Values In Action Institute (VIA).
When you have your results, look at the top 5 and ask yourself if they are really your signature strengths.
Find a way to use your signature strengths every day, either at work or a home by doing something differently using your character strength. They don’t have to be big things! But do make it a planned part of your day. If you’re a natural leader maybe offer your time to a local organization or cause. If you are creative perhaps try a different form of art or style of writing to for an hour. If you appreciate beauty go find a different scene to appreciate. If you’re a good listener call a friend who you know might need support. Journal your thoughts about the experience. How did it make you feel?
Do this practice daily.
Juanita Viale, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Juanita Viale guides and coaches motivated entrepreneurs and companies to Consciously boost their brand and effectively share their unique stories.
Based on the French Riviera, she provides personal Conscious marketing, positive leadership, and mindfulness coaching services.
Juanita's "Conscious Boosting" approach is based on a mindful framework of intention, connection, and authenticity. These elements serve as the foundations for delivering messages that resonate and inspire people to identify and engage with You and your Brand.
As a certified Meditation and Mindfulness Teacher, she gently guides You to reconnect with your truest authentic self and help you get aligned with your intentions.
