Five Shifts That Genuinely Changed My Nervous System
- Jun 2
- 5 min read
Janice Elsley is a leadership strategist, author, and keynote speaker who helps CEOs and leaders elevate their impact. As founder of Harissa Business Partners, she blends neuroscience, change management, and human design to drive success.
I thought I was doing everything right. I ate clean. I didn't drink or smoke. I exercised. I checked all the boxes that were supposed to equal health and energy. And yet, I was exhausted. Not the kind of tiredness that a good night's sleep fixes, but the bone-deep fatigue that makes you wonder if something is fundamentally broken inside you.
I went to the doctors. They ran tests. Everything came back normal. "You're fine," they'd say, handing me pamphlets about stress management or suggesting I just needed more rest. But I wasn't fine. I was running on fumes, showing up for my family, my work, my life, but not really present in any of it. I was switched on all the time, but never effectively engaged. That's when I realized the problem wasn't my habits. It was my nervous system.
I'd spent years in fight-or-flight mode, treating my body like a machine that just needed better fuel. But no amount of kale or morning runs could fix a system that was stuck in survival mode. My amygdala, the brain's alarm system, was running the show. My prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for clarity, decision-making, and presence, was offline. So I stopped looking for external fixes and started working from the inside out. These five shifts didn't just change my energy. They changed my life.
Shift 1: I stopped treating rest as a reward
For years, I believed rest was something you earned after you'd pushed hard enough. But my body didn't need permission to rest. It needed regulation. I started building in what I call "tranquilize the system" moments throughout my day, not just at the end of it. A few minutes lying on the grass in my backyard. Sitting outside without my phone. Just being, without doing.
It felt uncomfortable at first. My brain screamed that I was wasting time. But those moments of stillness weren't laziness. They were recalibrating. They signaled safety to my nervous system, allowing my body to shift out of sympathetic overdrive and into the ventral vagal, the state where healing, connection, and clarity actually happen.
Shift 2: I learned to breathe like my life depended on it
I know, I know. Everyone talks about breathing. But here's what I didn't understand. Most of us are breathing in a way that keeps us stressed. Short, shallow breaths signal danger to the body. They keep the amygdala activated and the prefrontal cortex suppressed.
I started using the physiological sigh, a specific breathing pattern that down regulates the nervous system in real time. Two quick inhales through the nose, one long exhale through the mouth. It sounds simple, but it works because it's biology, not fluff. That exhale activates the vagus nerve, the main highway of the parasympathetic nervous system, telling your body it's safe to relax.
I did this before meetings, in the car, when I felt tension rising. It became my reset button. Unlike meditation, which I struggled to stick with, this took seconds and worked immediately.
Shift 3: I stopped ignoring what my body was telling me
I used to override every signal my body sent. Tired? Push through. Tense? Keep going. Hungry? Eat later. I treated my body like an inconvenience, something to manage so I could get on with the real work of life.
But the body doesn't lie. It was trying to tell me I was running on empty, that my stress patterns were costing me my health, my relationships, my presence with the people I loved. I started paying attention. Not in a vague self care way, but with genuine curiosity. What was I feeling? Where was I holding tension? What did I actually need at that moment?
This wasn't about bubble baths or spa days. It was about reconnecting with the most fundamental source of information I had, my own nervous system. When I started listening, I could catch the early warning signs before they became full burnout. I could intervene before my body forced me to stop.
Shift 4: I gave myself permission to be human
I'd spent so long trying to be everything to everyone. The high performer. The dependable one. The woman who could handle it all without breaking. But that version of me was a performance, not a person. It was exhausting.
I had to grieve the identity I'd built around being unshakeable. I had to accept that I wasn't a machine. I had hormones, cycles, emotions, limits. Instead of seeing those as weaknesses, I started seeing them as data. My body wasn't failing me. It was protecting me, trying to get my attention the only way it knew how.
When I stopped fighting my humanity and started working with it, everything shifted. I set boundaries. I said no. I let things be imperfect. Instead of falling apart, I became more grounded, more present, more effective in every area of my life.
Shift 5: I realized transformation isn't linear
I used to think healing meant fixing myself once and for all. But nervous system regulation isn't a destination. It's a practice. Some days I'm calm and clear. Other days I'm triggered and reactive. The difference now is that I have the tools to return to the center.
I built a personal regulation menu, a list of practices I can reach for depending on what I need at the moment. Grounding through my senses. A walk outside. The five five five breath reset. Lying on the floor and just letting my body be heavy. These aren't luxuries. They're the foundation of everything else I do.
Because here's what I know now. You can't lead, create, or show up fully for the people you love when your nervous system is in survival mode. Internal transformation isn't separate from your work, your relationships, or your impact. It's the fuel for all of it.
The ripple effect
Healing my nervous system didn't just change how I felt. It changed how I showed up. I became more patient with my family, more focused on my work, and more connected to myself. The energy I used to spend just surviving became available for the things that actually mattered.
That's the thing about this work. It's not selfish, it's foundational. When you regulate your own system, you change the energy you bring into every room, every conversation, every relationship. You stop leading from depletion and start leading from clarity. You stop performing and start being.
It starts with you. Not because you're broken, but because you're the only one who can do this work. When you do, everything else shifts.
If your nervous system has been running the show, you don’t have to keep pushing through exhaustion and calling it strength. Janice’s programs help you understand your energy, regulate your system, and lead your life from a place of clarity instead of depletion. Explore Janice’s programs and start building the inner steadiness that changes how you show up in every part of your life.
Read more from Janice Elsley
Janice Elsley, Leadership Expert, International Author, and Podcast Host
Janice Elsley is a leadership expert, author, and keynote speaker helping CEOs and executives future-proof their leadership with neuroscience-driven strategies. As founder of Harissa Business Partners, she drives performance, inclusivity, and talent retention. Her book Leadership Legacy and programs, Leading Edge Women, The Leading Edge, and First 100 Days of Leadership, equip leaders with the confidence and strategies to make an impact. Whether coaching executives or delivering transformational keynotes, Janice creates real results.
