Conquering The Waves of Life
- Jan 13, 2022
- 5 min read
Written by: Cheryl Gray Hines, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
On a trip to California, I stayed in Oceanside at a lovely new hotel called the Seabird Resort. From my room on the 5th floor, I had a perfect view of the beach, and pier extending out over the ocean. The ocean current sometimes calmly rolled in, and then, out of nowhere, pounding waves came in that beckoned each surfer to the challenge of riding the heights of moderate to ferocious waves before they broke onto the beach.
I began to observe how people responded to the waves. There were those who:
Were immobilized by the perceived power of the waves and stayed on the shoreline
Went into the water just around the shoreline and when they saw a wave avoided it by turning away and going back to safety from concern of being overtaken by it
Ventured into the water and underestimated the power of an oncoming wave, getting blindsided and knocked down.
Were surfers and either buoyantly floated through a wave, or at just the right moment took on the wave and rode it out with ease in an enviable way...
I watched a family of surfers, a father, son and daughter who appeared to be around 9 years old. The girl held onto her father’s heel as they paddled through the waves. He was teaching her how to assess and position herself for the oncoming waves. For some, they got out of the way of, while others, they buoyantly floated over. Finally, a wave came that he instructed her to ride, which she did briefly until she fell into it. From that point on, the young girl assessed the waves herself and found one she was confident she could handle, and surfed the wave to the shore.
How people dealt with those waves is how I observe people dealing with challenges. In the past, many sought to compartmentalize the waves in their personal and professional lives, however, the pandemic taught us that the waves in one part of our lives have a rippling effect throughout our entire lives.
Personally, waves of challenge can come in the form of sickness, death, relationship issues, financial or parenting/caretaking challenges, and shattered expectations of others. Professionally, waves of challenge can come from new business requirements or demands in the workplace, pressures and or employee needs, changes in the way we must do business. They come from proposals submitted and lost, promotions not granted, other workplace dynamics or interpersonal difficulties.
It is important to understand how you react when the calm waters swell to the inevitable; when the waves go from small to ferocious, crashing in your life. While some waves seem insurmountable, all waves do pass and eventually break on the shores of life. There are lessons we can learn from surfers, so we do not become immobilized, avoid addressing challenges or get blindsided and knocked down by trials that come our way.
Here are some tips for beginning surfers from Surf Hungry that can be used to address the challenges from the inevitable waves of life that will come.
1. Find a good surfing instructor. Consult someone who has experience with your challenge.
When we encounter difficulties the tendency is to try to figure it out on our own. This limits your knowledge of how to proceed, what your options are, and depending on how emotionally charged the situation is, the completeness of your approach to the challenge. A trusted advisor, mentor or person who has had experience in the area can assist you in reading the situation, helping you to avoid pitfalls or worsen the situation, and recommend the most appropriate options for the best possible outcome.
2. Select the right surfboard. Get expert advice to strategize your approach.
When choosing the right surfboard, the surfer considers the type of waves on the beach, their fitness level and surfing ability.
When addressing your wave/challenge it is important to consider the overall situation, your depth of knowledge about it and your level of skill to address it. Determine if it would be to your benefit to consult someone with subject matter expertise such as technical experts related to the challenge. It may require a functional expert such as Human Resources, Finance, Public Relations, Information Technology, Training & Development or Employee Relations specialist. You may need someone to help you sort through impacts of the challenge, so consulting a Counselor or Coach can also be greatly beneficial. After you have obtained expert advice,you can strategize how to address the challenge.
I encounter many types of leaders in the private and public sectors that believe that because they are smart, they can address any type of situation. This is far from the truth. Get the appropriate expert advice so you can confidently strategize your approach to the challenge and ride the wave to the shore.
3. Don’t forget the surf leash. Have a safety net.
Beginners, and some professional surfers, use a surf leash to prevent their runaway surfboard from hitting other surfers and to keep their board close to them in the event they fall into the water.
Think of this as the safety net you need for your challenge. It is always advisable to have an alternative approach or Plan B in addressing a challenge. If it is a personnel situation, consider if you need someone from H.R. or your manager to be a part of the conversation. Identify if a functional expert needs to work with you in addressing the situation. Ensure whoever you report to is apprised of the situation and knows how to support you. Lastly, identify someone you can talk to and lean on for support as you ride the wave.
4. Start small and slow down your pace.
Beginner Surfers tend to get excited and want to hit the biggest waves. However, they are advised to slow down and get comfortable with small waves first to lessen the risks of injury. Unless a surfing instructor gives them the signal that they can handle big waves, they stay away until they're ready.
In the same way, unless otherwise advised, break your challenge into steps or smaller parts to address so you can build the momentum needed for success. Proceeding in smaller steps also enables you to alter your approach if you are not getting the desired outcome.
Ride your waves of challenge by consulting a trusted advisor, get expert advice to strategize your approach, identify your safety net and be practical and methodical as you surf to shore.
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Cheryl Gray Hines, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Cheryl Gray Hines is an accomplished entrepreneur, executive coach, and mentor with a mission to support women to live authentically and be their best. Her deep expertise in leadership, organizational development, and business strategy have equipped her to coach executives and leaders through the most challenging transitions. Cheryl Gray Hines is the founder of C. Gray & Associates, author of In Support of Myself: A Woman’s Guide to Asking for Accepting Help from Others, and the creator of Gray’s Integrity Leadership Instrument (GILI) 360°, the only tool of its kind that quantifies leadership integrity. As founder of C. Gray & Associates, she teaches Fortune 100 corporations, federal agencies, and high-net-worth entrepreneurs that leadership integrity is the foundation of stellar business performance.
