Are You Tired Of It Always Being You Versus Yourself?
- Aug 4, 2021
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 5, 2021
Written by: Philip Airson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
It is a tale as old as time, and the superhero defeats a whole host of devilish rouges only to find his real greatest enemy is themselves! Shock, horror! Is it an overplayed story? Yes! A bit of everyday truth in the message? Absolutely!
So I sat there one day in my office that I worked so hard to get, in a job that I worked so hard to succeed in. I had my health, I had my family, I had everything on paper that I wanted to make me happy! But life isn’t lived on paper, and I was far from happy. I was empty. I thought maybe this is what life is. I grew up in a ship building town in the North of England and was told all too often that life and work are not there for you to enjoy, you get a job that makes you miserable, but it pays the bills, looks after your loved ones, and then you can eventually retire and live life drinking cheap pints of beer in the social club. Maybe they were right? After all, here I was. I had spent all of my life looking for an outside solution to an inside problem. I was looking for a job, a body, a car, an office, a suit, a certain number in the bank account, a certain level of success and recognition, a relationship or anything material (outside) to make me happy (inside) It was like me trying to cut the grass and planting new trees in my garden to improve my bedroom. It made no sense! But it took me nearly 30 years to understand this. I realised that if I was not happy, loving, and accepting of myself, then wherever I put myself in life, no matter if it was a success at work, being a loving father, or being a rock star, then I would be miserable. Even if you place a broken chair in front of the most beautiful view, you still have no place to sit. I canceled all other work and projects I was doing, and I had decided to go full selfish (in a good way). I dedicated my days to working on my relationship with myself. I became really inspired by a woman called Amber Krzys and the work of Dr. Robert Holden on self-love.
I reached out, and to my shock, Amber agreed to talk to me and work with me, and it was amazing. This was it. This was my missing piece. All of my work made sense now. I became obsessed with learning all of the methods and techniques to grow my relationship and passing it on to others so that they may do the same. When I learned to create that relationship with myself, everything changed. I showed up differently. I could be fully present with my family and not spend the time judging myself; I could create a loving, joyful space knowing how to accept the good things I had. My work was filled with a new passion and purpose, showing others how to love themselves the way I knew how. The way I connected with strangers, the way I ate my food, the way I ran my
Business all started to either change or started to mean something more. I felt connected and alive to my own life in a way I had always dreamed of.
So today, I want to invite you to be a little more selfish, to stop all of your self-help, self-improvement, and other endeavors, and think, ‘how can I improve my relationship with me? How can I wake up loving who I am and what I do? Not what can I add to my life or what do I need, but how can I connect to myself and everything I have right now?
My coach once said something to me, which I will share with you now, that I made the core of how I see the world.
“Happiness is always a place to come from, not to get to.”
Cheers,
Phil
Philip Airson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Phil Airson is a life and success coach, psychotherapist, and human behavioral expert. He has devoted his life to the study of human psychology and created PMA Life coaching with his mission to show over one million people how to develop a loving relationship with themselves.
Phil has worked with entrepreneurs from all over the world, helping them not only grow their business but doing so by helping them grow and succeed as individuals.
Phil believes that our relationship with our own being affects how we see and interact with everything in the world. From our relationships to our work to what we see in the mirror, it all stems from our perception of who we are and where we fit into society. By examining and working with this, Phil has changed lives and allowed some of the most successful people to connect to joy in their lives.
Phil is a man from a wonderful but working-class mining town in the north of England. He has been bullied. He has been fired. He has struggled financially. He has been lonely. He has lost loved ones.
He has also coached clients who have lost children, had life-threatening illnesses, been assaulted, been abused, and been through bankruptcy.
But Phil has also been a leader, a coach, and an advisor to high-level clients for almost 17 years. He's faced many challenges (in life and business) and has coached many people through life-changing experiences. And Phil has been privy to the secret challenges of top-level clients (Hint: they have the same challenges as the rest of us!)
Oh, and Phil's an introvert at heart who is secretly relieved when plans for a night out are canceled!
