Why Is It So Hard To Listen To Your Body?
- Brainz Magazine
- Dec 19, 2024
- 5 min read
Written by Kate Lister, Somatic Therapist
Kate is an experienced somatic therapist with 20 years in the field. As the founder of Mind Body Integration and the host of the podcast Rhythms of Self, she guides an exploratory felt sense journey home to self.
As humans, we often struggle to truly listen to our bodies. The concept of the “felt sense,” the direct, embodied awareness of sensations, emotions, and physical states, can feel elusive, especially when we’re accustomed to intellectualizing our experiences. In our modern world, we are conditioned to rely on the mind for understanding, reasoning, and navigating life. Our bodies, on the other hand, can sometimes feel like a mystery, a source of discomfort, or even an obstacle.
But why is it so difficult to tune into the signals our bodies send us?
The protection mechanism: A default to the mind
At the root of this difficulty lies a survival instinct: our brain’s deep desire to protect us from perceived discomfort. The body is constantly sending signals about how it feels tension in the shoulders, tightness in the chest, or fatigue, but we often dismiss these signs or avoid them altogether. Why? Because feeling these sensations directly can feel overwhelming, especially when we’re not accustomed to sitting with them.
Instead of tuning into our body’s wisdom, we default to intellectualizing or analyzing the experience. We push through the discomfort or simply shut it down. This is a defense mechanism, one that evolved to keep us safe, often by dissociating from difficult or painful sensations. This tendency can lead to chronic stress, disconnection, and even physical pain, as the body’s wisdom is ignored in favor of mental control.
Transforming triggers into glimmers
The good news is that learning to sense and feel the body can transform our experience. When we allow ourselves to experience our feelings and bodily sensations without judgment, we open the door to deeper healing and growth. Rather than avoiding discomfort, we can begin to recognize it as a signal from a teacher guiding us toward a new understanding.
This shift, moving from intellectualizing to embodying, is where transformation happens. Triggers that once seemed overwhelming or intolerable can begin to shift into “glimmers,” small, positive moments that remind us of our capacity to heal and grow. By tuning into these sensations and approaching them with curiosity rather than fear, we begin to stretch and expand our window of tolerance.
Widening the window of tolerance
The “window of tolerance” refers to the range of emotional and physical states we can experience without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. Most people experience stressors that cause them to fall outside this window, either into states of hyperarousal (fight or flight) or hypoarousal (shutdown or dissociation).
When we cultivate the ability to listen to our body’s cues and widen our window of tolerance, we build the capacity to bounce back from stress more effectively. This increases our resilience and ability to navigate challenging situations with greater ease. We can start to trust our intuition more fully, flowing through life with greater fluidity and confidence rather than being rigidly attached to mental plans or ideas.
Guided by intuition and embracing flow
As we learn to listen to the felt sense of our bodies, we begin to align more closely with our intuition. Our bodies often hold the answers we seek. When we slow down and connect to what we’re feeling, we tap into an innate wisdom that helps guide us through decision-making, relationships, and daily choices. This alignment can allow us to go with the flow of life more naturally without the need for constant control.
This process of reconnecting with our bodies also invites us to prioritize our health and well-being. The more we listen to our bodies, the more we can give ourselves what we need to stay grounded, energized, and balanced. This leads to greater harmony in our relationships as we bring our full, embodied presence to interactions, fostering a deeper sense of reciprocity and mutual care.
Building a new relationship with your body
Listening to your body isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving. As we learn to tune into the felt sense and honor the body’s messages, we create space for healing, growth, and connection. We move from intellectualizing to truly feeling our way through life guided by intuition, grounded in our bodies, and responsive to the present moment.
In this process, we build greater capacity for dealing with life’s stressors, increase our ability to bounce back from setbacks, and create a more resilient and nourishing relationship with ourselves. This is the power of listening to your body: it’s the gateway to a life of more ease, flow, and well-being.
A practical resource: Attuned touch
One powerful way to start listening to your body is through attuned touch. This practice involves gently bringing attention to your body through touch in a way that is slow, mindful, and compassionate. Whether through self-massage, placing your hands on your heart, or using a grounding technique like placing your hands on your belly or shoulders, attuned touch creates a safe space for connection.
Attuned touch can help you develop a deeper awareness of your body's sensations and promote relaxation. As you become familiar with your body’s responses to touch, you start to recognize how it reacts to different emotions and stressors, helping you build emotional resilience. Over time, this practice can guide you toward feeling more comfortable in your own skin and more attuned to your body’s needs.
Whether you practice on your own or with the guidance of a professional, attuned touch is an accessible tool to begin the process of listening and responding to your body’s wisdom. Listening to your body through practices like attuned touch is a gateway to understanding its deeper messages. It’s an invitation to embody your experiences, transform triggers into glimmers, and cultivate a more resilient and intuitive way of living. By widening our window of tolerance and practicing embodied awareness, we move closer to a life of flow, health, and balance guided by the wisdom of our own bodies.
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Read more from Kate Lister
Kate Lister, Somatic Therapist
Kate is a compassionate leader in mind-body connection, drawing from her own profound experiences to shape her practice. Her journey through personal challenges has been a wellspring of insight, allowing her to simplify the complexities of human physiology. Kate's teachings help individuals feel safe, connected, and curious about their intelligent bodies. Passionate about supporting others, she guides people in learning to physically and emotionally regulate, fostering deeper connections and a purposeful existence.
