The Number One Reason That Keeps High-Achieving Women & Moms Stuck And Overwhelmed
- Brainz Magazine
- Apr 18, 2022
- 4 min read
Written by: Nina Urman, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You are a driven, ambitious woman & super-mom with a record of achievements behind you and ready for more!
From the OUTSIDE, it seems like you have it all.
But it doesn’t always feel as positive on the INSIDE.
There is something missing.
You have a burning desire to start or scale your business or bring a personal project to life that will give you more meaning and purpose.
You want go ALL in on yourself. Re-invent yourself. Re-design your life.
Yet you doubt yourself and wonder how you could ever find the TIME.
It feels like most of the time you are taking care of everyone else.
The responsibilities of home and family and social life lie almost completely on your shoulders.
So, you feel stuck and dissatisfied between your deep desire of self-actualization and your “perceived reality”.
You compare yourself to others (who seem to have it all figured out) and are afraid to make mistakes or fail.
So you settle for the GOOD instead of reaching for the EXTRAORDINARY.
There is a specific reason for all of it.
And it is found in your Brain.
It is a toxic lie, a poor “Mindset Choice” that is preventing you from having more Energy & Joy and building more confidence from within!
It is the THOUGHT Pattern and loop:
I just don’t have enough TIME.
Or
I just have SOOOO much to do!
That is keeping you stressed and unproductive.
Here is the truth:
You hear people talking about time management all the time, but the truth is that time really can't be managed.
It doesn't need to be managed. It doesn’t need to be mastered.
Time just is. What needs to be managed is us the human beings.
What needs to be managed is our thinking about it.
And it's a useful construct to think about time management, but I want you to understand that there's no such thing as managing something external that we can't control.
We've created this mental construct of 24 hours, and of minutes, and of days, and all of these and of months and we all kind of agree on it.
The most important thing I share in my coaching is not how to manage hours and days, but how to manage your own mind as you think about time and making time for YOU, OK?
So make sure whenever you feel like there's not enough time, or there's too much time, or I can't find the time, I am running out of time, know that time is always there, and it's always consistent, and it never changes.
There's always enough time because there's always only the amount of time there will ever be.
This is such an awareness shift.
We all think we need more time.
But the truth if you do not know how to use your time more efficiently, having more time won’t help you.
You will just have more time to use inefficiently. Right?
None of us are performing at our peak performance at the true capacity of our brain. Recent studies show that we use our brain at about 20-30 percent.
Here is the thing: You have plenty of time already:
You are just wasting it:
on second-guessing yourself and
putting yourself and your dreams last.
Think about it and be honest with yourself:
How much time do you spend doubting and second-guessing yourself, your potential and what you are capable of?
You are re-reading emails you already sent, double and triple checking numbers verifying if you did it the right way?
Are you doing extra work or discounting the work that you have already done?
How much time do you spend thinking you are good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough fill in the blank?
How much time do you spend in indecision, confusion, uncertainty and trying to get everything right?
This is where you time is going.
All these thought patterns are keeping you stuck in inefficiency.
And then chances are you keep yourself available to other people, moving them forward and thus never get to YOUR BIG picture priorities and Dreams.
This is so common with women and especially for moms: we are used to constantly putting other people first.
We are socialized to believe to be available at all times.
Can you relate?
So we leave our door open, to stay available to everyone.
We are monitoring our husband’s, our children’s, our extended family’s emotional states, we try to adapt and be flexible and to keep everyone happy.
We are people pleasing and have a really hard time saying NO.
We believe that: Only then we are good spouses and mothers.
And I get it: children, need a lot of care. I know. I have 7 of them and there is always something going on!
And yes, sometimes they need us right away, but most of the time they will be ok without us. But we forget this.
And choose to think “I am a bad mom, if I don’t give them attention”
Or “I am a not good enough spouse if I am not there right the second|
This is what actually keeps us stuck.
The Real Reason is on your BRAIN.
Believe me, giving you more time won’t solve the problem.
If you spend your time: people pleasing and undercounting your work and yourself, over time you will not only feel the resentment build up, but you will also be physically and emotionally overworked and exhausted, because you are draining your precious energy.
Nothing will ever change if you do not learn how to:
Manage your thinking around time and prioritize and to protect your own space and energy.
If you are ready to work on your Mindset around Time, check out my Mastermind for high-achieving women and moms here.
It is called TIME for YOU, Time to SHINE.
Nina Urman, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Nina is an intuitive life coach & keynote speaker supporting high-achieving mom's to make TIME for THEIR dreams.
A Russian-German former professional tennis player & facilitator Nina has over 10 years of experience delivering transformation around the world.
She works with ambitious, driven women leading them to an understanding of how their stories, beliefs and the environments they operate in can trigger self-limiting behavior.
As an expert in Mind-Management, Leadership, Intuition, Mindfulness, and Conscious parenting Nina offers a holistic methodology & laser-like tools to ignite real change that lasts a lifetime.
She thinks in English, feels in Russian, organizes in German, speaks fluent French and coaches in all four languages.
