Updated: Oct 5, 2020
Written by: Elle Hari, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I’m sure you’ve heard the clichés… “You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else”; “You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you”; “Love yourself first”. But have you noticed that no one who dispenses such sage advice ever actually explains how to love yourself? That’s all about to change. In this article, I’m going to clarify what loving yourself entails and how it’s done. I’m going to start my explanation with another cliché…”to know yourself is to love yourself”. This is true, and the key to actually loving yourself.
Getting To Know You
So, who are you? Like I mentioned, knowing the answer to this is the key to loving yourself. To know this, it’s first helpful to know what you are not. You are not your body. You are not your mind. You are your soul.
Think about it. Your body and mind both remain here in the physical world even after you move on. The “you” that moves on, into eternity, is your true self – your soul. But, what is your soul?
Your soul, like everything else in the Universe, is energy. Specifically, it’s an energetic vibration. And, it’s not just any old vibration. It happens to be the strongest energetic vibration that exists aside from Source energy.
By “Source” energy, I’m referring to the ultimate creative energy of all that is. (Other common names for this energy are “the Universe”, “God”, “Goddess”, etc.) So, you are the strongest energy other than the very energy that is the ultimate creator of everything (including yourself)!
That’s right; you are a badass! The energetic vibration that you are (the strongest energy in the entire universe next to Source energy) has a name. What’s the strongest energy that exists? Love. You ARE love. Now you might be thinking, “Well, If I am love, then how do I love myself?” I’m glad you asked.
So, you are love, and love is energy. Therefore, love isn’t a verb or action. It’s an energetic state of being. Your natural state of being There aren’t things that you can physically do to love yourself (or anyone else, for that matter). Self-care, for example, is not self-love. Loving yourself doesn’t require any action other than shifting closer into alignment with who you truly are. That might seem like a daunting endeavor, but it’s actually extremely simple. So simple, in fact, that your mind will probably resist it.
Love vs. Fear
Love (the very essence of who you truly are) is fearless. It must be. Love and fear are mutually exclusive and can not coexist. Remember, you are your soul, and your soul is love. You are not your mind. Your mind is controlled by fear-based energy.
To be clear, “fear-based” energy does not only consist of being scared or frightened. Fear-based energy is comprised of all temporary emotions, both ”positive” and “negative”. Fear is judgment, and “positive” and “negative” emotions are merely the result of judging things, people and situations as “good” or “bad”.
Love, on the other hand, is acceptance without judgment. To accept whatever or whoever shows up in your life without judgment, it’s necessary to resonate with this simple truth:
Your soul is orchestrating everything in your life, and it’s doing so for your highest good. Therefore, everything happens for a reason…(even if your mind can’t fathom what that reason might be).
Believing in this one truth is placing your trust and belief in your soul (yourself), and you can’t love someone without trusting and believing in them, right?