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REVEALED: How To Actually Love Yourself

Written by: Elle Hari, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


I’m sure you’ve heard the clichés… “You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else”; “You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you”; “Love yourself first”. But have you noticed that no one who dispenses such sage advice ever actually explains how to love yourself? That’s all about to change. In this article, I’m going to clarify what loving yourself entails and how it’s done. I’m going to start my explanation with another cliché…”to know yourself is to love yourself”. This is true, and the key to actually loving yourself.

Getting To Know You

So, who are you? Like I mentioned, knowing the answer to this is the key to loving yourself. To know this, it’s first helpful to know what you are not. You are not your body. You are not your mind. You are your soul.

Think about it. Your body and mind both remain here in the physical world even after you move on. The “you” that moves on, into eternity, is your true self – your soul. But, what is your soul?

Your soul, like everything else in the Universe, is energy. Specifically, it’s an energetic vibration. And, it’s not just any old vibration. It happens to be the strongest energetic vibration that exists aside from Source energy.

By “Source” energy, I’m referring to the ultimate creative energy of all that is. (Other common names for this energy are “the Universe”, “God”, “Goddess”, etc.) So, you are the strongest energy other than the very energy that is the ultimate creator of everything (including yourself)!

That’s right; you are a badass! The energetic vibration that you are (the strongest energy in the entire universe next to Source energy) has a name. What’s the strongest energy that exists? Love. You ARE love. Now you might be thinking, “Well, If I am love, then how do I love myself?” I’m glad you asked.

Loving Yourself

So, you are love, and love is energy. Therefore, love isn’t a verb or action. It’s an energetic state of being. Your natural state of being There aren’t things that you can physically do to love yourself (or anyone else, for that matter). Self-care, for example, is not self-love. Loving yourself doesn’t require any action other than shifting closer into alignment with who you truly are. That might seem like a daunting endeavor, but it’s actually extremely simple. So simple, in fact, that your mind will probably resist it.

Love vs. Fear

Love (the very essence of who you truly are) is fearless. It must be. Love and fear are mutually exclusive and can not coexist. Remember, you are your soul, and your soul is love. You are not your mind. Your mind is controlled by fear-based energy.

To be clear, “fear-based” energy does not only consist of being scared or frightened. Fear-based energy is comprised of all temporary emotions, both ”positive” and “negative”. Fear is judgment, and “positive” and “negative” emotions are merely the result of judging things, people and situations as “good” or “bad”.

Love, on the other hand, is acceptance without judgment. To accept whatever or whoever shows up in your life without judgment, it’s necessary to resonate with this simple truth:

Your soul is orchestrating everything in your life, and it’s doing so for your highest good. Therefore, everything happens for a reason…(even if your mind can’t fathom what that reason might be).

Believing in this one truth is placing your trust and belief in your soul (yourself), and you can’t love someone without trusting and believing in them, right?

That’s true regarding loving yourself, as well.

Benefits Of Loving Yourself

You might be thinking that this is all good and great, but why should you care?

This is the awesome part! Your vibration of love contains many different frequencies. These include, but are not limited to: peace, joy, abundance, appreciation, contentment and purpose.

Thanks to a couple of the Universal Laws (such as the Law of Attraction and the Law of Correspondence), the closer you shift into your true soul’s vibration of love and, therefore, into the aforementioned frequencies, the more your physical outer world will change to reflect those frequencies back to you.

You will magnetize into your life people, situations and things that represent peace, joy, abundance, appreciation and contentment. And your true purpose will find you…effortlessly and easily.

And all of those feelings are permanent. They are eternal because your soul is eternal. They aren’t based on fear and judgment of people, things and situations in your outer world. They are shifted into within yourself first…before their physical world manifestations appear.

And, whether you realize it or not, this is the order in which everything happens (in accordance with the Universal Law of Correspondence, which states: “as within, so without”).

Steps You Can Take To Love Yourself

Loving yourself (aka: permanently shifting closer into alignment with your soul) consists of multiple facets, and it’s a process that will last until you reach ascension (ie. at least for the remainder of your current lifetime). The totality of this is way beyond the scope of this article, but if you are interested in learning more about how to do this, check out my free master class at

There are, however, steps you can implement right now to help you diminish your fear-based energy and be more in love:

  1. Accept that you are your soul, and that your soul is love.

  2. Trust and believe that your soul is orchestrating everything in your life for a reason and that your soul is perfect, and it doesn’t mess up.

  3. Start with your negative emotions because it will help you neutralize your emotions (and it’s no fun to feel bad!). Notice what judgment is behind that negative emotion. What are you judging as “bad”? Remind yourself that nothing is “bad” because your soul is orchestrating everything for your highest good, and your soul is perfect and doesn’t mess up. Do you see the trust and belief in yourself (ie. love for yourself) that this elicits from you?

(The more you practice Step 3, the faster you will come out of your negative emotions and the better you will feel. Every time this happens, you are shifting out of your mind and into your true, authentic self…your soul!)

It’s simple, but truth always is. It’s also extremely powerful. Love really does conquer all.


Elle xx

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Elle Hari, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Elle Hari is a 1 international bestselling author of four books and Twin Flame & Ascension Alchemist, Writer, Teacher and Coach. After experiencing her own twin flame journey, Elle left her career as a lawyer to help others navigate their own paths toward ascension. Elle has discovered and created revolutionary methods that help her students unconditionally love themselves and manifest their greatest dreams. Devoted to helping people overcome fear, pain and self-sabotaging limitations, she guides her students to their true nature of bliss and perpetual happiness. Her mission is driven by a passion for expanding people’s awareness of the truth of the twin flame journey and assist humanity’s spiritual ascension on a global scale. Elle is the founder and CEO of Elle Hari Universal LLC and creator of the Be With Your Twin Flame® and Mastery of Ascension Alchemy™ brands.



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