Kindness And Compassion – The Most Overlooked Form Of Intelligence
Danica Carson, creator of Hack Decks™, specializes in creating simple and effective ways to help others live their lives with less stress and more enjoyment. Focusing on pain points such as getting organized, becoming a mother, going off to college, coming up with fresh ways to connect, Hack Decks™ provides a shortcut to a happier, easier life.
Life Hack Decks™ are powerful, micro-prompt motivational cards. Each Hack Deck™ is based around a theme to make life easier. Our offerings include Date Deck® (discovering fun date ideas without doom scrolling), Declutter Deck® (getting organized by following bite-sized decluttering prompts to address all areas of your home), Dorm Deck (young adults leaving for college and living on their own for the first time), New Mama Deck (becoming a mother and reconnecting with yourself postpartum), and Random Acts of Kindness Deck (showing gratitude, connecting or reconnecting to others). Each of our decks provides tricks and tips so you can work smarter instead of harder. These five decks offer prompts to improve your routine while helping to support mental health, well-being, and connection to others.
Random acts of kindness deck
One of the topics most important to us is acts of kindness. Sometimes, it can be difficult to know how to express kindness or gratitude to others. This can ultimately lead to important and meaningful things going unsaid or undone. That’s why we’ve created the Random Acts of Kindness Deck® to provide suggestions that help you bring joy to the lives of loved ones and strangers alike.
Kindness is good for the giver and the receiver
Being kind is good for our physical well-being and mental health. Psychologists have discovered that performing acts of kindness and generosity boosts happiness. This boost also creates a sense of well-being from the spike in dopamine, known as the “helper’s high.” Acts of kindness and generosity are also linked to physical health benefits, including lower blood pressure, and lower cortisol levels (stress hormone).
Small acts, such as petting an animal, or bringing coffee to a friend have just as big an impact as larger acts of kindness. For example, helping a friend paint their garage or taking a loved one to an appointment is also impactful. Prosocial behavior toward friends, strangers, and oneself, even observing or recalling kind acts, has been shown to increase one’s sense of well-being and confidence, while providing a sense of meaning and purpose in life.
The helper’s high
Not all acts of kindness and generosity, however, are created equal. Giving directly to a person, as opposed to contributing online or taking a friend out to dinner rather than sending them a meal, offers an opportunity for social connectedness that’s particularly beneficial. This benefit is known as the “helper’s high.” A "helper's high" is a feeling of euphoria or well-being that people experience after performing an act of kindness, volunteering, or donating to charity. The idea is that helping others is an instinct that's beneficial to human survival. When people help others, their bodies release endorphins and boost oxytocin and dopamine. Being kind can also increase serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood. These chemicals create a "high" that motivates people to continue doing good deeds.
Being socially connected and physical health
People benefit from kind behavior when they’ve chosen to be kind rather than being required to do so. This is because they feel their actions have had a genuine impact, fostering a sense of belonging, connection, and value outside societal roles such as work or family. The lack of obligation amplifies the reward in the gesture for both parties.
On top of the psychological gains, research also ties helping behavior to better physical health. One study tracked more than 7,000 U.S. adults. Research showed that volunteers engaged in more preventive health behaviors than those who did not. Other research has shown that children regularly exposed to random acts of kindness and gratitude experience positive changes in their brain development. These changes may have long-term impacts on their emotional development, outlook on life, and resilience; Three qualities that have an enormous effect on a child’s success and happiness.
Intelligent kindness
It has been said that intelligent people are unafraid to be kind. This is because they understand that kindness is a powerful force for positive change. As all our decks address positive change during transitional times, our Random Acts of Kindness Deck fits perfectly into our line of products with a purpose.
The concept of intelligent kindness is rooted in kinship and implies that people are motivated to cooperate, treat others as family, and be generous and thoughtful. Adding the adjective ‘intelligent’ signals that it is possible to think in a sophisticated way about what constitutes kindness. Intelligent kindness is another way of describing compassion. Compassion involves treating people with empathy, respect, and dignity.
Emotional intelligence is a different type of kindness. Emotionally intelligent people have more compassion and understanding for others, which comes from a broader perspective and more comprehensive outlook on the world. These changes in outlook can apply to other things, from school, to work to problem-solving and relationships.
Why don’t people perform more acts of kindness?
Sometimes, performing random acts of kindness takes us out of our comfort zone. For example, we make ourselves vulnerable by offering something to someone we may not know well. We may feel that we’ve overextended ourselves or put the other person in an uncomfortable position. Sometimes, we are afraid that our actions may be misinterpreted. Once, a boy I knew gave a girl down the street a teddy bear when she was sick and missed a month of school. She interpreted that his gift meant he had “romantic” feelings for her when instead, he was doing something he felt was kind. The fear of having your kindness misinterpreted or rejected can prevent people from being kind, particularly with people we aren’t close to.
However, think of doing random acts of kindness from a different perspective. In other words, what is lost in not taking a step forward? Every Mother’s Day I send all my best girlfriends a Mother’s Day card. At times, I have sent out a big stack. Some people I feel closer to than others, but I always feel that people like to be seen and recognized and that sending a card is a way of doing just that. I continue to send birthday cards to all my friends, even though this is an outdated custom. I still send handwritten thank-you notes when people send me a gift or do something kind for me. Most people send a text with a happy face and a heart. While both communicate gratitude, one demonstrates an extra effort that makes others feel appreciated.
Compassion
Taking that extra step to demonstrate appreciation is an important form of compassion. People don’t need to do kind things for us. Nothing is obligating them to do that. For that reason, anyone who takes time out of their busy life to think about doing something kind for me deserves a true, thoughtful thank you. It makes a world of difference and creates a connection on a few levels. Showing appreciation, generosity, and compassion binds us together as a community, which is an important factor in anthropology.
At a recent funeral, I heard a lifelong friend talk about the friend he had lost. He talked about the way friends stay with you for life and change and grow with you. That is because, as friendships develop, each takes the time to appreciate the person they were and the person they have become. Doing acts of kindness for another, such as sending a note to tell someone the positive effect they have had on your life, deepens your relationship. The cost is nominal, but the impact is great.
Pick up a random acts of kindness deck
Our Random Acts of Kindness Deck offers free or inexpensive, easy-to-do, meaningful ways to show others that you care about them. They are also a great way to model compassion and teach empathy to children in small but impactful ways.
Do something for a stranger “just because” to make their day a little brighter. Offer kindness to a neighbor to get to know them better. Send a few handpicked flowers to a teacher who has made an impact on a child’s life and possibly their future. Tell people how you feel without being afraid of being rejected. Express gratitude. The ripple effect of kindness is extremely impactful. Don’t be afraid.
Read more from Danica Carson
Danica Carson, Co-Owner and Creator of Hack Decks™
Danica Carson is the Co-Owner and Creator of Hack Decks™, a line of prompt cards designed to simplify life and reduce stress. Hack Decks™ is owned by The Uncluttered Life, Inc., a boutique organizing company based in Dallas-Fort Worth specializing in optimization, efficiency, and home function. The flagship product, Declutter Deck®, was created as an exclusive tool for clients, to get and stay organized in all aspects of the home.
