How To Drive And Enhance Your Personal Growth
- Apr 23, 2023
- 5 min read
Written by: Alessandro Carli, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Everything in nature grows and/or evolves, and there's nothing we can do to alter this course. We can resist the process, as we do most of the time, but why would we? What if we learned how to deal with it instead?
Growth and evolution are not just aspects of the natural world we all live and operate in, but they are also laws that we must abide by. Human artifacts don't grow: they just decay in time and become useless, which is exactly what happens to human beings when they resist growth instead of going along with it.
As we accept the fact that we can't avoid growing, we can make the process easier and even more pleasant by learning which forces and dynamics are actually involved, and how we can use them so that everything runs smoothly when done with the right awareness.
Growth, especially when applied to individuals, involves two major forces, which are Expansion and Evolution.
The first type, Expansion, is a quantitative type of Growth that is driven by the human ego, and it consists in wanting and having more of what we already have. Not just materially. If we have some money, we want more; if we have a house, we want a mansion; if we reach a certain social or organizational status, we want to rise even more, etc. However, this also applies to love, knowledge, effectiveness, and so on.
The second type, Evolution, is a qualitative type of Growth that is driven by Nature, and it's not about wanting or having more, but about being and becoming more. If we want to achieve better results at work, we may have to develop more resilience or determination; if we want to become more determined, we may need to build a stronger sense of purpose, and if we need more of the latter, we may have to cultivate a deeper introspection, etc. Animals evolve as a result of adapting to external forces being exerted on them, whereas humans evolve from within.
At whatever level we're operating, we'll always feel urged to achieve some results along the Expansion line. We eventually get to a point, however, where no matter how much we push, nothing seems to work anymore: this is a stage we call crisis. “Crisis” comes from the Greek word "krisis" which means decision, or choice, and when we get to a halt on the Expansion line, it means we're expected to decide between staying stuck and moving up the Evolution line.
However, we don't experience crises only from not being able to expand without evolving: the opposite is also true. We are required to take action, "to do" something to expand, and if we don't, if all we do is – say – meditate, study, attend all the seminars we can put our hands on, etc., but never translate all this into strategies and actions, we certainly evolve, but we don't expand, and at some point, we'll find ourselves in a crisis along the Evolution line too, this time. Although it's usually Expansion that leads the way, the two lines must always grow together harmoniously.
So, if all this is true, if we only have to gain from flowing with the process, why don't we just go along with it? Simple, our ego. The ego is by far our greatest asset and resource: without it, life would simply not exist. Unlike we've been taught, our ego is not "bad" in itself. It is simply a biological program that follows instructions imparted by Nature to ensure our survival.
Now that we have the full picture of the various forces and dynamics involved in our growth as human beings, let's see how we can use all this to our and other peoples' benefit.
Become increasingly aware of the ongoing process
The next time you find yourself in a crisis, ask yourself what you need to learn or become to overcome it, so you can break through the crisis and continue to expand. "Listen" to your ego: what is it trying to tell you? What is it resisting? What is it that you know you should do, but are not willing to do? Also, ask yourself what kind of person would be able to handle this crisis, and start working on becoming that person.
Focus on Evolution, not Expansion
We instinctively pursue Expansion because it's our ego pushing us in that direction. If we understand the dynamics of growth, however, we can better acknowledge the importance of Evolution and focus on this. Simply put, instead of setting goals along our Expansion line (what we want), we set them along our Evolution line (what we need to become/change). Not only do we get our ego running after us instead of the other way around, but we also take control of the process, enabling us to take the direction we want, which is no minor aspect to consider.
Relate to crises for what they really are
Crises are not there to harm you, they're there to guide you. When you hit a crisis, you KNOW it's there to tell you something and you better listen. Don't focus on what you think is causing the crisis and then try to fix it; rather, focus on that lack in you that allowed the crisis to manifest. If you're facing a financial setback, for example, don't just try to fix it, but try to figure out how you've allowed it to happen first. This is your growth "soft spot" that you need to address… and then you can fix the problem.
The bigger and stronger your crises get, the better
We never run out of crises. No matter where you are in your life and/or business, you'll always be facing crises, and the more you grow, the tougher they get. And that's good news. Tougher crises simply mean you've come a long way, and this should give you the confidence to overcome them as they show up. Remember, however, that if you don't feel uneasiness while dealing with a crisis, whatever you do won't work, because every true evolutionary step comes with some pain: that's your ego trying to stop you.
Ask for help
As you become more aware of the system, and that avoiding growth is not an option, you can control the process. Remember that your ego doesn't want you to grow because it won't be able to control you if you do. It's been around and developing for hundreds of millions of years, and you can't outsmart it. In fact, its most astute trick is to make you think you can. The only way to neutralize it, somehow, is by having someone else, a professional, help you deal with it. Your ego can only control you, not others, especially if they know how it works, and they can help you nullify all its attempts to fool you.
Alessandro Carli, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Canadian born, now living in Italy, Alessandro has been involved in personal growth since 1987, and made it his full-time profession for the past 22 years. He trained and coached people at a personal and professional level, helping them draw out more of their human potential, and at the same time having them become more aware of the laws, forces and dynamics that shape our reality. It's a specific study topic related to Systemic Intelligence which, besides working on self-improvement, allows to interact more effectively with our various environments. He wrote and published two books (in Italian) which roughly translate in "The 5 Principles of Corporate Success" and "Your Money And Your Life".
