Challenges, Changes, Courage and Control – Lessons I have Learned from My Father and My Husband
- 2 hours ago
- 7 min read
Written by Michal Ravid Vrabel, Lawyer & Life Coach
Michal is a lawyer and a life coach. A former criminal defense attorney who spent the vast majority of her professional life in courtrooms, she has encountered all walks of life. The founder of Pathways Life Coaching, she now focuses extensively on success mindset coaching, personal and professional relationship coaching, and end-of-life coaching.
No journey is identical to another, and just like an untamable ocean, forever in motion, stormy at times, with no guarantee of smooth sailing, so are life journeys. Throughout life, our unique journeys present volatile conditions in the form of challenges and changes in both our personal and professional spheres.
We have all faced unexpected challenges and unforeseen changes that felt as though they threatened the trajectory of our journey, often in conjunction with a lingering, frightening feeling of losing control.
These challenges and changes, while daunting, are our biggest tests to solve and obstacles to conquer. They also present opportunities, even in this rapidly evolving environment. They should serve as a great positive force in our life’s journey, a force that can promote self-development and growth, inner strength, and increased confidence. It is a force that we must take control of to positively enhance our present circumstances and bravely carve a path to a better future.
Challenges and changes: An intertwined affair
Challenges are part of life, and they often bring about changes that are either forced on us or required by us, and vice versa. Changes will often present challenges, since we will likely need to adapt, act, or react to them.
Like many of you, I have faced various challenges and changes throughout my life journey. Some were forced on me, while others were my own choices.
In both situations, one realization was certain. While different adjustments needed to be made, it was the same familiar feeling that lingered and threatened to take over me: a fear of change, a fear of the challenge, a fear of losing control, and a fear of what was ahead of me.
Now, these challenges and changes can be overwhelming at times, but that is totally understandable. We are all human. We feel, we hurt, and we fear the unknown.
As different as our journeys might be, we all share a common thread: we are creatures of habit. These changes and challenges threaten our routines and the path we thought was planned and secure. As always, the fear of the unknown contributes to the overwhelming feeling these challenges and changes create.
One of the biggest inspirations in my life, when it came to dealing with challenges and changes, was, and still is, my dear father, who, at the young age of 19, was severely injured and lost his leg during his military service.
From being an active and athletic young man who had played basketball his whole life, he had to deal with a life-changing, tragic event that threatened not only his physicality but also his emotional state of mind and well-being.
I am proud to say that my father chose life and made the conscious and brave decision not to let this injury jeopardize his life’s trajectory, dreams, and goals. He recovered, learned to live with a prosthetic leg, built a family and a career, and, more than anything, taught me that, in life, despite the harshest hardships, there is a way forward.
Hence, a life lesson I have carried with me since the day I was born is that the one thing we cannot do is freeze in the face of challenges, obstacles, or change. There is a way forward, and we have to find the strength within us.
The force that is courage
This is where courage comes into play: the courage not to give up on our journey, even if the circumstances have changed.
This courage will help us embrace the challenge and adapt to change, leading to positive outcomes. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. As we face challenges and change, we will gain confidence, learn new skills, and evolve.
In the words of Napoleon Bonaparte: “Courage is not having the strength to go on. It is going on when you do not have the strength.”
Subsequently, the question arises: how do we find the courage necessary for dealing with challenges and changes?
First and foremost, we should expect and embrace fear and realize that fearing the next steps is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign that we care and are ready to move in the right direction.
We should learn to pause, breathe, and think clearly as we approach obstacles in our way. Let’s start by making a plan, taking small steps, and acknowledging our previous wins. Through each hardship we face, we become wiser and stronger. This is also an opportunity to connect with our core values and beliefs, a time when we should feel comfortable reaching out to our closest circle and loved ones, clearing our minds, and finding inner peace.
All these factors will serve as the anchor for our rocking ship in stormy waters, an anchor that will not only prevent us from sinking into despair but also help us rise above with our newfound courage. We should embrace challenges and changes as opportunities to grow, develop, and take control of our destiny.
Control: The perpetual battle
Taking control of our destiny might be easier said than done, especially since some of the challenges and changes we face throughout our life journey are not of our own doing, but rather obstacles we could not have predicted in the first place.
As we plan our life journey and walk different paths, most of us tend to embrace a sense of control, as it gives us power and confidence that we are in charge of our journey.
Unfortunately, challenges and changes present the exact opposite of that: chaos, confusion, and disorder in our thoughts and emotions, which can lead to feelings of helplessness and powerlessness.
Hence, it is important to realize that there are forces larger than us that we cannot realistically control. Furthermore, though improbable, we like to think we can control every aspect of our lives. In fact, this is not the case.
As we dig deep to find the courage to move on and deal with challenges and changes, we should act in two very contradictory directions. On one hand, we need to understand that we are not in control of everything in our life’s journey, such as outside forces and others’ actions and behaviors. On the other hand, we should recognize the areas where we can gain control. We should work towards gaining control of our actions, reactions, next steps, and feelings to successfully conquer the challenges and changes ahead of us.
The loss of control and the need to gain control act as two forces pulling us in opposite directions. Nevertheless, we can find the courage to take charge and influence only what we can control: our actions and reactions, our emotions, and our thoughts.
I prefer to view the obstacles that arise in our life’s journey as puzzles we must solve. From that perspective, I believe we can change the balance of power in a way that gives us more control and more satisfaction, knowing that we didn’t give up but rather found the courage, strength, and resilience to deal with the most difficult situations.
My husband, my hero, courageously facing his greatest battle
I couldn’t end this article without mentioning my soulmate, my dearest and beloved husband, who has taught our beautiful children and me the greatest lesson about challenges, changes, control, and courage.
As I mentioned in past articles, my husband was diagnosed with end-stage cancer two and a half years ago. This is not something any of us could have expected or even prepared for, and it has been, and still is, our biggest challenge and change as a family.
My husband has taught me that, in the face of his early, inevitable death and despite the loss of control over life as he once knew it, there is still beauty and hope, as well as a way forward.
He has made the conscious decision to take control of an uncontrollable diagnosis. He found the courage within himself not only to fight to live another day, but also to make the most of every single day, every single moment. His unimaginable power has inspired us all to do the same. He has taught us not to surrender to obstacles, challenges, or changes. He has taught us the value of every single moment, every single win, and that courage is within us all.
We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. We can and should find the courage within us to take control of our journey, and we should know that the sun will shine again after the storm.
If you are going through challenges and changes, big or small, know that you are never alone and that there is a positive way forward.
Should you feel the need for guidance, coaching, or just someone to share your journey with, you can contact me directly via email or book your consultation with me through my website.
Read more from Michal Ravid Vrabel
Michal Ravid Vrabel, Lawyer & Life Coach
Michal is a life coach with an integrated approach, guiding clients towards discovering their true, authentic self, including bringing their true inner strength and wisdom to fruition. The founder of Pathways Life Coaching, she has a professional background in criminal, public, and international law, with extensive experience as a criminal defense attorney. Michal's mission is to guide her clients into a successful path in their life's journey, thus creating a unique, tailored coaching plan for every client, from Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) of hedge funds and corporate group coaching, personal coaching, with a focus on success mindset, improving and enhancing personal and professional relationships, and end-of-life coaching, for terminally ill patients and caregivers.
