Are You Finding Your ‘Happy’ – Or Just Doing Your Duty?
- Apr 18, 2023
- 6 min read
Updated: Mar 8, 2024
Written by: Steven N. Adjei, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Many of us are caught between doing our duty and breaking free to follow our passion. This article discusses the realities of both and give thoughts on how to do one without destroying the other. Read on…
Feel the wind in your hair
Feel the rush way up here…
We’re walking the wire, love
We’re walking the wire, love,
Oh, the storm is raging against us now
If you’re afraid of falling, then don’t look down
We’re walking the wire…
– Walking The Wire – Imagine Dragons, 2017.
This is my close friend Rob Scott. Rob is an entrepreneur, the founder, and CEO of City Cycle Couriers, a multi award winning delivery service operating in the Southwest of England. As a bicycle-based delivery service, City Cycle Couriers can deliver mail to thousands of homes cheaply, efficiently, speedily and in densely congested areas, whilst being sustainable and demonstrating its ‘green’ credentials.
Just yesterday, I had to call on him to deliver some vital life-saving medicines to one of my patients, in the blistering cold. It was windy and rainy and horrible, but he still did it with a wide grin on his face. He did it in half the time it took my traditional delivery driver.
But there is also something different about Rob. He loves cycling. His company regularly sponsors cycle races, he is an award-winning semi-professional cyclist, and has won races across the country. Cycling is his passion.
He is doing his duty, and he has found his happy. All in the same breath, whilst making good money in the process. Cycling as his full-time job; cycling as his full-time passion.
Happiness. Passion.
These are two words that we hear about all the time.
We are urged to ‘leave our comfort zone’ and ‘follow our passion’ and ‘do want you want if it harms no one and makes you happy’
But there is one word that was once alive, kicking, but we rarely hear nowadays.
Duty.
In our quest to follow our dreams, to pursue that ethereal feeling of happiness, the word duty has largely been set aside.
But doing your duty was a proud word used by our elders who bravely and stoically fought for our freedom in the first and second world wars.
But for many of us, unlike Rob, our passions and our duties sometimes directly contradict and collide with each other, and we must walk a fine line to balance both.
I love writing, reading, speaking and all things business.
But as a husband and father, it is my duty to make sure my family are well looked after. That I am not a ghost in my home. That I take care of my ailing parents. If I am not careful, the two can collide. And which comes off worse? My family, of course.
If I follow my passion, but neglect my duty, eventually, both my passion (writing and speaking and structuring deals) and my duty (looking after my family) will both suffer, and I will leave a bad legacy. It is the legacy of the Profligate – as I describe in my book – Pay The Price.
And another thing I’ve learned? Following your passion leads to having to do your duty.
As NF, my favourite hip-hop singer says:
‘’First, I dropped the record, now you know I gotta tour it’’
Last week, one of my childhood friends in Ghana called me in distress. She was a single mother with a young daughter who was struggling to make ends meet. Her ex had abandoned her, and her child and she had no means to pay the bills. She spoke about the passion her ex had for her before the child came. Once the fruit and consequence of his passion were birthed, he ran a mile.
He enjoyed the passion but neglected the duty.
I also have met entrepreneurs that had a passion to build businesses. However, once they followed that passion, inevitably, duties beckoned. Taxes to pay. Employees to look after. Laws to follow. That passion had now become a duty.
And we forget, particularly us immigrants and entrepreneurs and some youngsters who have broken out to follow their passions, that our parents sometimes had to sacrifice their passion for duty – like my mother, who did back-breaking work at Selfridges for years to help my dad balance the rigours of law school with my sister and me.
Or a friend I know who had to sacrifice her passion to become an administrator for a large company because her husband failed to do his duty – doing a runner after their daughter was born, thus resulting in her having to make do with menial jobs to fulfil her duty as a single mother to bring up her child.
Even more heroic, I feel are the millions of people who try to balance their passions and duties – ‘’always walking the wire’’ without ‘’spilling the beans’’ the NHS executive who manages a large facility for very sick patients leaving hospital – her dream job but also has to manage her children as a single mother – her life is spent dashing from one appointment to the other – from dentist to desk, from breakfast club to boardroom.
On the other hand, there are those that get so stuck in their duties, that they fail to take the available steps to follow their passions – like the mother who gets lost when her kids leave the house, the CEO that falls into depression when he must retire, the wife who refuses to live after her husband dies.
In my previous article, I spoke of Anju Agarwal, who after being a mother and a teacher for over 3 decades, finally summoned the courage to be an artist and poet and has now become hugely successful.
And in my book, I speak of the entrepreneur Bernice Atubra, who has now had to balance the duty of looking after her sick husband here in the UK and following her dream – building the school of her dreams in Ghana. She’s had to choose the former, at a great personal cost.
For some of us, not all the stars align in our favour so that our duties and our passions merge into one big dream like it has for Rob.
But it does not mean your life has been a failure. Not in the slightest.
If you can find the space and time to follow your dreams, go for it. But if life has belted you in, you can still find space in your day-to-day duties to live out your passion.
Like the refugee menial worker who turns her passion for cooking by making videos on TikTok.
Or the injured young teacher with a young family who turns his passion for football into being a coach for young kids.
So, where does the tension between ‘’duty’’ and ‘’happy’’ lie for you, and what can you do about it if it’s not finely balanced?
It’s a question I ask myself every day. And every day the answer is different.
But that’s okay.
Sometimes I wish I was more like Rob.
But I’m not, but that’s okay too.
Three things to share (well, four…)
I spoke about Bernice Atubra – the entrepreneur who’s had to put her dream on hold to look after her ill husband. We’re doing a GoFundMe to help her raise the roof to complete her school. Details here if you’re interested and want to help.
One of my best podcasts I’ve ever had was with my friend Claire Oatway on her top-rated Exponential Potential podcast– it was so much fun! Claire has a way of bringing out the best (and the worst) from me. Have a watch and listen here on YouTube. You can subscribe to her podcast on Spotify here.
I was honoured to write my first article on investing in Africa for one of the UK’s biggest business magazines, The Business Influencer last month – it will be available soon in WHSmith in the UK. It's already available in Barnes and Noble in the US and Indigo in Canada. Subscribe here.
Check out Rob Scott’s website on his award-winning bicycle delivery service and get in touch with him if you’re interested in his business or his story.
And finally, my award-winning international 1 best-selling debut book, ‘’Pay The Price: Creating Ethical Entrepreneurial Success Through Passion, Pain and Purpose’’ is available wherever books are sold. It has broken many records, won two awards so far, and is also in line for the Readers’ Favorite Awards and the BIBA awards later on this year.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!
Steven N. Adjei, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Steven N. Adjei is a British-Ghanaian author, poet, healthcare consultant, entrepreneur, and pharmacist. He is the founding partner of BlueCloud Health (part of the Emerald Group), an advisory and consulting firm with offices in London, Dubai, and Delhi with clients all over the world. He has an MBA from Warwick Business School, and his first book, Pay The Price, is set for release on 30 August 2022.
