Where Have All The Good Men Gone?
Updated: May 16, 2024
Written by: Natalie Ford, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
"I can't keep getting my heart broken!" I exclaimed to a friend after another man I really liked dumped me. My frustration grew as I thought about how difficult it felt to find a good man these days. "Surely it shouldn't be this hard?!" I cried. My heart heavy with resignation, I asked, "Where ARE all the good men? ‒ And how do I find one?" If you're asking similar questions, this is for you; Read on.
The Elusive Good Man
You've likely tried meeting guys through dating apps, clubs and pubs, and friends' parties. Yet they weren't the kind of guy you were looking for, or they probably didn't want a serious relationship. I get it ‒ I've been there ‒ and it can feel really disheartening. You might even start to wonder, "Why is love so hard to find?" or "Why can't men see how amazing I am?" ‒ I know these were thought I had before I finally found my dream man.
Perhaps you see friends in happy relationships or couples on the street and wish you could have what they have? You may question if you're doing something wrong or if all the good men are already taken.
Thankfully, I'm here to tell you that none of that is true. (Phew!)
Once I discovered why good men seemed so elusive ‒ and put what I learned into practice ‒ I attracted the most incredible man I could ever wish for! (And in record time, too ‒ but that's another story). Now I have the dream relationship I'd always hoped for ‒ and you could have this, too.
I developed the signature methodology I now teach my 1:1 clients, supporting powerful women like you to find a high-quality man and create love that lasts.
Today I'm sharing the behind-the-scenes secret I teach my incredible female clients about how to find great men. And if you put this into practice, you can find your ideal man too.
Looking In The Wrong Place
So, when I realised this secret 10+ years ago, the difficult truth I had to face was that I'd actually been surrounded by incredible men the whole time ‒ I just couldn't see them. They were plentiful, abundant ‒ and definitely not in hiding!
"So, where are they, Natalie?!" I hear you cry.
The reason I couldn't see them was that my definition of "good" was wonky.
You see, I thought "a good man" needed to be:
Honest
Communicated well
Kind
Made me laugh
Financially secure
Had a "good" job
Attractive
Dressed nicely
Taller than me
Emotionally intelligent
Perhaps, you have a similar definition?
The trouble is… out of these 10 qualities, only honesty, communication, kindness and emotional intelligence are ingredients for a happy, healthy, lasting relationship. This means the other 6 are actually obstacles to real love.
Fixating on finding a man with all 10 qualities is why you can't find men who are genuinely right for you. It's also why the guys you do attract never turn out to be what you're truly looking for.
Knowing What Makes Love Last
When I woke up to this fact, my whole perspective changed ‒ and the guys I started attracting changed too.
After years and years of failed relationships and dating men who never made enough time for me or weren't looking for a long-term commitment, I began attracting men who:
Messaged and called me regularly and consistently;
Made time to see me;
Took me out for dinner;
Held my hand in public;
Complimented me and told me how much they liked me;
Did things for me that made me feel special;
Introduced me to their friends and family;
Genuinely wanted a future with me.
So, what did I do differently that allowed me to attract a genuinely "good" man?
I started looking at guys differently.
Rather than focusing on "What does he bring to the table?" I started exploring, "Who is he as an individual?"
I let go of superficial requirements, and I began asking myself:
How does he show up in the world?
What are his main qualities?
How does he treat people?
What does he prioritise?
Do I like him as a person?
Because these are the types of qualities that genuinely matter in a relationship.
As I began focusing on these questions, I started seeing more and more "good" men everywhere I went.
Truthfully, they'd always been there ‒ I'd just been looking for the wrong things, so I couldn't see them.
When I made this one simple change, I opened my heart and mind to what made true love work. And that's when I finally found my forever man. Now, I support incredible women like you every day to find their dream man and call in lasting love too.
If you're ready to find your "good" man and cultivate forever love, sign up for my free masterclass: Dating For Long-Term Love.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube and visit my website for more info!
Natalie Ford, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Natalie Ford is an online dating expert who works with strong, driven, successful women ready to get off the hamster wheel of dating and find lasting love with their forever man. She supports clients in gaining clarity on the man they seek, creating a magnetic dating profile that attracts high-quality men, knowing how to decipher precisely which men are worth your time on the apps, and seamlessly transitioning to an in-person, successful relationship. With 15+ years of personal development expertise, over 200 clients served, and features in publications such as TimeOut, Thrive and Brainz, Natalie now works 1:1 with women in their 30s and 40s to find forever love and is the host of The Enchanted Love Podcast.
