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If There Are Plenty Of Fish In The Sea, Why Are Good Men So Hard To Find?

Written by: Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


If you are a busy ambitious single woman who has been looking for love, you know that the vast majority of men on the dating scene are:

  • Lacking class, confidence, integrity, chivalry, leadership, and financial stability.

  • Men who don’t have a clue how to communicate with a woman and don’t understand women at all.

  • ‘Nice guys’ who usually finish last because they have no idea how to approach a woman and create attraction with her. They are trying very hard to be your best ‘super-friend.’ It is of no surprise that no one wants to date them because they come across as off-putting and needy.

  • ‘Drifters’ who are wrapped up in their own stuff and ego and are ‘not looking for anything serious’. They will happily waste your time and will string you along (if you let them), but will never take things to the next level.

  • Many who simply forgot how to be a man and are leading with their feminine energy. They have fallen victim to the false ‘equality’ and are all about ‘going Dutch’ or ‘let’s meet halfway’ kind of arrangement. They are lacking masculine leadership and confidence and instead are relying on a woman for ‘support’ and ‘contribution’.

  • Part of the sea of the desperate and rude men who completely lack any sense of reality and are out of touch with basic social manners, and are only looking after their own sexual instincts and needs.

Sadly, these poor choices make up the majority of the dating pool.

Like all things that are in abundance with no demand for them, these men take no effort to obtain.

They flock into your inbox by the dozens. They overwhelm you with non-stop messaging. All the while, bringing absolutely no value to your life.

After the ‘joy’ of dating a few of these men, many women get frustrated and conclude that there are no good men out there. Then they completely unsubscribe from dating proclaiming ‘I better off alone!”

I relate to that because I was one of those women.

And it wasn’t even that long ago...

That was me BEFORE I realized that I was fishing in the WRONG POOL to find a man worthy of me.

After some soul searching, self-study and research, I discovered RARE kind of men, one of the TOP 3% of Bachelors.

The Men who are:

Good looking, Fit, Sexy, Successful, Intelligent, Ambitious, Evolved, Courteous, Study personal growth, Chivalrous, Generous, Conscious, Leaders, Interesting, Intriguing, Well-spoken, Well-traveled, Fun, Confident, And Masculine.

These Men Are RARE.

Very rare!

They are like a needle in a haystack.

They *are* the 3% Top Bachelors that every woman wants to date and be with.

You don’t find too many of them on dating apps. They will not be the ones desperately flooding your inbox.

BUT... they are out there.

They are usually dating many, many women without being in a rush to commit. However, they are secretly waiting for the right kind of woman to come along. One who will capture their attention, who will stand out in the crowd, and who will ‘let him know’ that she is different from many-many-many other fish in the sea.

These men are not in the rush to commit or claim you ‘his’ because such High-Quality men have very high standards and very high expectations.

This is because they have options.

Many options!

They have the entire dating pool of women at their disposal and they are the ones choosing.

Because of that, like all things with a limited supply and high demand, it takes a lot of effort and special skills to ‘catch’ one of these Top Bachelors.

That is not good news for the women who think that they can just ‘wing it’ and go ‘fishing’ in the top 3% pool without the tools, without a plan, without a strategy, and without the skills.

And I am not talking about just any skills.

But the specific skills to ‘catch’ the rare Top Bachelors.

And not only the skills to catch one, but to keep and create a magical relationship with one.

These ‘rare’ men are very sophisticated and they require a delicate ‘touch.’

  • They know what they are looking for.

  • They know how they want to feel around a woman.

  • They are not easily impressed.

  • They know they have many options.

  • They are not in the rush to commit to anyone because they know that they can have a relationship any time they decide

Sure, the skills that you have now might give you an ego boost as you may have many low-quality men chasing you. But, if you don’t resonate with any of them, what is the point.

All this does is burn you out through a series of short-lived relationships, disappointing relationships with a guaranteed heartbreak at the end.

That is not a lot of fun!

If you keep using the same common skills and strategies everyone else is using you will consequently catch and date common men! Men who:

  • Lead you into heartbreak and disappointment.

  • Cheat, disrespect, and do not value you.

  • Frustrate you when they do not commit to anything meaningful or serious.

And if you are lucky enough to stumble upon one of the rare men out there, the relationship ends abruptly for reasons you don’t understand.

The ‘winging it’ approach keeps you stuck in an endless emotional hamster wheel as you watch YEARS of your life waste away.

The truth is, these rare men are waiting for the right girl who is not just a pretty face, sexy and fun to hang out with. They are also looking for a woman who can steal his heart.

And the good news is that with some conscious effort, you can become that woman!

All you need is to learn the right skills to catch and keep a Top-Quality man.

Some of the basics that will help you to get started are:

  • Understanding what Top Bachelors are looking for and how to articulate that you are ‘that’ girl. Knowing how to communicate with confidence, convey emotional intelligence, handle challenges with grace, and carry and conduct yourself with poise.

  • Learning how to identify a man’s intentions quickly and determine if he is worth your time before you get involved with him and invest your time and your heart.

  • Knowing how to skillfully navigate and evolve your relationship from ‘undefined’ into exclusivity before you get intimate with him.

Investing in yourself and developing the necessary skills can change your perspective from navigating a sea of undesirables to developing a meaningful relationship with a Top Bachelor.

If you want to have success, Every. Single. Time in your dating experience without relying on ‘luck’ or ‘chance’, connect with me at my LinkedIn, Facebook Profile and connect with me on Instagram or visit my website. I look forward to sharing my zone of genius with you!


Oksana Irwin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Oksana Irwin is a Certified Mars – Venus Life and Relationship Coach, trained by the legendary John Gray. She is on a continuing mission to change the world one love story at a time!

Oksana is a leader in the dating and relationship coaching field. She equips her clients with powerful behaviors, winning mindsets, and gender intelligence knowledge that empowers them to unleash their mental and emotional constraints and achieve their very best in love, life, and career.

Within 3 years of sadly losing both her long-term marriage and role in a thriving family business, Oksana has created a new loving, passionate relationship and built a successful coaching business. She turned her pain into passion, passion into purpose, and purpose into profit by helping many women along the way.

She impacts her clients by unlocking access to feminine power, lowering stress, and skyrocketing confidence. Her clients learn effective and powerful gender dynamics, sufficient hormonal balance, and potent attraction and polarity techniques that produce outstanding results in creating loving and lasting passionate relationships and thriving successful and fulfilling lives.



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