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Your Blueprint For Happiness – When Life Doesn't Work Your Way

Written by: Rita Trotter, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Happiness is an elusive emotion that can seem out of reach at times. In fact, it’s been reported that Americans are generally less happy than they used to be, with only 32% of adults in the U.S. reporting they are happy. We all have our ups and downs and things we must deal with from day to day, but how do you stay positive when everything seems so negative? How do you find joy when everything feels like it’s against you?

A women in bed and was waking up in the morning who felt very refreshed.

It can be difficult to remain optimistic when life throws us curveballs, but it’s possible if you're intentional about improving your life and happiness. Even though some days may feel darker than others, there is light at the end of every tunnel. If you keep these helpful tips in mind, your blueprint for happiness will open many doors for a brighter future:

Change Your Perspective

You can't control the world, but you can control how you feel about it. Your thoughts and beliefs about yourself, others, and your circumstances have a powerful impact on your state of being. When you struggle to find happiness and feel overwhelmed with stress and worry, it’s just as essential to examine your thoughts and feelings as it is to address your external circumstances.

When times are tough, it's easy to focus on the negative — what's not going right — instead of focusing on the positive. Try thinking about why this might be happening and how it will ultimately help you in some way. For example, if you lost your job and need to find a new one, think about how hard work will pay off when you get a job that fits your skillset and career goals.

When you learn to change your perspective, you’re able to shift your thoughts from negative to positive and find peace in your everyday life. While it may not always be easy, it can make a huge difference: When you’re able to change your perspective, you’ll have a much better chance of finding happiness in both your professional and personal life.

Be Kind To Yourself

If you’re hard on yourself, you’re going to have a really difficult time finding happiness. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, you’ll have a much harder time relaxing and enjoying life.

If you’re always criticising yourself and putting unrealistic expectations on yourself, it can be impossible to find happiness. It’s important to recognise when you’re being harsh on yourself and try to reel it in. If you’re always putting yourself down, you’re going to find it impossible to relax and enjoy your life. By being kind to yourself, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy life a lot more. You will make mistakes and have bad days, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Everyone screws up from time to time and needs a break sometimes.

Always start small. Small steps can have big effects. Maybe you're in shock over losing your job or maybe you feel like giving up because nothing seems to be going right for you at the moment. Start by taking care of yourself by eating properly and getting enough sleep each night so that you can function at your best during this challenging time in your life. Then set aside time each day for something positive like going for a walk or reading a book or listening to music — whatever helps bring joy into your life during this challenging time

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help

Many of us try to go it alone and pretend like we have everything under control, but that’s not always the healthiest way to approach things. When you try to do everything on your own, you may find yourself burning out and becoming resentful toward everyone around you.

In her latest book, Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help, psychologist and author Dr. Deborah Sandella offers practical tips for getting through tough times with grace, confidence and self-compassion.

"It's been said that 'it takes a village' to raise a child," says Sandella. "Well, it also takes a village to heal from trauma or loss."

Sandella's goal is not only to help people deal with their own challenges but also to offer guidance to those who want to help others through difficult times. In fact, she believes that asking for help is the first step toward healing — both for those who need support and those who want to provide it.

"Asking for help is something we all do naturally when we're sick or injured," says Sandella. "But when it comes to emotional wounds, many people are afraid or ashamed of asking for help."

By asking for help and receiving assistance, you’re actually helping everyone around you by being a more efficient human and not burning out. When you ask for help, you’re not a burden – you’re actually helping. It may be difficult to ask for assistance, but it actually makes you stronger and more capable. When you ask for help, you’re not just solving your own problem; you’re helping others solve their problems as well.

Take Care Of Your Body

Taking care of your physical health is a great way to improve your mental health. By eating healthy foods and getting regular exercise, you’re able to reduce stress and anxiety, increase your energy, and improve your ability to concentrate and stay focused on your tasks.

Your physical health has a huge impact on your mental health and overall happiness, so it’s essential to take care of yourself. When you take care of your body, you’ll have more energy and fewer distractions. You’ll be able to focus on your tasks without constantly being pushed out of your zone and you won’t have to deal with overwhelming anxiety and stress.

Your physical health has a huge impact on your mental health. If you have low energy and a poor diet, you’ll have a lot more on your plate than you need to.

Commit To A Daily Practice

Daily practice is a great way to stay in touch with yourself and your emotions. When you regularly sit back and reflect on your emotions and feelings, you can stay plugged into your current state of being and get ahead of yourself rather than letting things snowball into an uncontrollable negative state.

Regular meditation practice is a great way to stay connected with yourself and your emotions. You can also journal about your feelings, spend time reflecting on nature, or spend time with loved ones. A daily practice is a great way to stay in touch with yourself and your emotions.

When you regularly sit back and reflect on your feelings and emotions, you’re able to prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings.

Develop Good Habits

Life is not perfect. And sometimes, we feel like it’s not working out the way we planned. I know that feeling very well.

It’s hard to keep your head up when things aren’t going right. But that’s where developing good habits comes into play.

Habits are what allow you to stay positive even when things don’t go your way. A habit changes the way you think and act so that you can take control of your life again. It helps you stay focused on what matters most.

Bad habits can quickly spiral out of control, sucking your time and energy away and eliminating the chances of you achieving happiness. By cultivating good habits, you’re not only improving your physical health; you’re improving your mental health as well. Good habits can help you stay focused and reduce distractions, they can help you avoid burnout, and they can help you stay in tune with your emotions.

Be Grateful

Being grateful is a key to unlocking happiness. This may seem like a cliche, but there's science behind it.

Gratitude has been linked to better mental and physical health, stronger relationships and greater happiness. It can be an important part of a happy life, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside. She studies the causes and consequences of happiness and has found that being grateful plays a role in well-being.

One study from Harvard University found that people who kept a gratitude journal for 10 weeks reported higher levels of positive emotions, compared with those who just wrote about their daily hassles. In addition, the grateful group had fewer physical symptoms and decreased depression symptoms — even when they were tested one month after the study ended.

It's not just about saying "thank you." It's about feeling grateful for everything in your life, including the small things that make up daily life, like having enough food on your plate or a roof over your head.

Happiness is a state of being, and it's one that you can achieve if you follow these steps. With each step you take towards your goals, you will be one step closer to feeling fulfilled and living a happy life. So take action, stay motivated, and have faith in yourself.

You got this! With these tips in mind, you can create a blueprint for happiness and live a more positive, fulfilling life. Happiness isn’t always easy to achieve, but it is always worth the effort.

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Rita Trotter, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

My passion, work, and philosophies focus on the joy factor, self-acceptance, physical and emotional cohesion, and authentic wellness and I enjoy sharing my wisdom for all that is connected to a successful and healthy life. My foundation in women’s health comes from my own struggles with weight, sleep, energy, productivity, and health and my passion to share this with the whole female collective. I am a Personal Trainer, Nutrition Coach, Behaviour Change Specialist, Long Covid Rehabilitator, Women’s Hormone, and Pre and Post Natal Specialist, Health for Business Coach, published author of three globally selling books, and the creator and facilitator of The Self-Health System Programmes.



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