Written by: Yogesh Osher, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When it comes to change, whether it's our lifestyle, appearance, line of work, team culture, or organizational structure, resistance is sure to rise. Hence, change is not always so easily achieved even if many promise an easy and fast change.
The problem of change remains the most difficult reality to address. This problem may have grave implications for income, relationships, health or life purpose, and the expression of who we really are.
My clients often come to me after so many trials with myriad modalities like NLP, Dieting, Therapy of all sorts, Coaching, and you name it!
But they have never yet succeeded in establishing a new way of being and feeling. This is where my secret three steps method comes to play.
In just a moment, I will share how the same people and teams can achieve great change with minimal effort. Firstly though, we need to see the common mistakes they make and why it doesn't work for them and thousands of others who attempt change.
So there are two extremes that lead to failure. The first one is the ‘all is good trap.’ This trap provides the illusion that things are happening just as they ‘should’ and there is no need for any doing from their side. It is a lazy philosophy that supports being the same and never reaching fulfillment. It avoids the challenge that precede change at all cost.
This trap is a type of neglect. Thinking that it will be ok without trying, without doing, without engaging. It can also be a method of avoidance or projection of the problem on some other ‘thing,’ ‘factor’ or ‘person.’ This method is tough to shift. I see people or teams making these mistakes over long periods of time and achieving nothing but some borrowed time that delays the painful confrontation with reality.
The other side of the spectrum on the scale of unsuccessful change is the very effortful attempts to change reality from a top-dog position. This can come in the form of rigorous and continuous efforts to control the way one is engaging. It can be with food, exercise, daily habits, ways of thinking, or even attempting to alter the way one feels about life or herself. In teams, it may be the imposition of behaviors or working methods that secretly or un-secretly meet with much resistance.
This extreme often comes to play with the help of a system or a personal coach or therapist of some kind of coaching that helps the individual or the team by taking a strong conviction that they ‘CAN DO IT’ if only they try hard enough. We hear this approach in every sphere of life, from health and fitness through weight loss to financial strategies and business coaching.
I often get stories about how this doesn’t work and how no real change happened.
It may help, but it’s usually short-lived and lasts as long as the encouragement is there. Or as long as the will-power works extra hard.
When using the forceful method, what typically happens is a big swing back to the old way of being, and the path of oscillation and swings begins.
The same is true for organizational change. Leaders addressing change with a forceful or dominating approach will only reach a certain level of recruitment of their team members. However, if they take a different approach that I will share here, they’ll find a path to much greater change and growth of their teams.
The shift that I am talking about today is neither this nor that.
I am speaking of the BALANCED INTEGRATION of who you are with the ability to move as a whole person, whole team, whole organization ahead without the typical swings of new and old superficial methods.
What I am talking about is the empowerment of integration.
Sounds simple, yes, not always easy, though.
It’s a profound shift in the way the person, team, or organization operates.
It can only happen when there are three key elements in the process.
1. The ability to see, hear, feel, recognize and acknowledge what is actually happening, being pushed away, demonized, forbidden, or distracted from. This is a critical phase and in itself, when done well, can create real connection and peace.
2. The second stage is the deep cleaning of the barriers to change, not by force but with a heart of understanding the deep cause of resistance. In other words, seeing the function of the resistance and learning the lessons to be learned.
3. Lastly is the co-creation of the new direction that integrates the new insights and discoveries. Here clarity and excitement are building up, and the movement ahead has a fresh and empowered flow.
As simple as this may sound, it most powerful and works like magic every time. Synergy is empowerment and integration on all levels.
I do this for my clients; it works like clockwork. Learn more about growth-full change here!
Yogesh Osher, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Yogesh Osher holds a Masters Degree in Gestalt Therapy. He is a highly skilled Gestalt therapist and group facilitator, a certified Wellness Coach and Yoga Teacher, and a Detox Practitioner (Dip. Natural Therapeutics). He is the founder of Living Total Wellness and a co-founder in the global naturopathic movement of Natural Yogic Treatments. He has been studying, practicing, and teaching Zen, Tantra Yoga Meditation, Gestalt Therapy, and Functional Medicine in the past two decades. His life purpose is true wellness. Engaging a synergetic synthesis of east and west and drawing on methodologies, practices, and systems that bring real results. He currently offers online wellness programs integrating personal growth with detoxification and lifestyle changes. He brings a spiritual outlook to promote lasting transformations in the life of his clients. Using the gestalt process, self-empowerment, and practical wellness, Yogesh promotes a heartfelt integration and elevation of life as a whole.