Speak To Lead ‒ How To Master Your Relationship Through Energetic Compatibility
- Mar 9, 2022
- 6 min read
Written by: Lena Thompson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I recently had a chat with a client about her relationship with her partner. They wanted to make it work but kept running into roadblocks in their communication and compatibility.
While her partner struggled to make up his mind and chased many things at once, she couldn’t keep up with his fast pace, avoided conflict and tried to keep peace in their relationship, even though she knew it was time to speak up.
Through my work with Energy profiles, I quickly realised the potential gap in their energetic compatibility and the fact that they are designed to communicate and make decisions differently.
We all have our own communication and decision making strategies, and what works and supports one person, will not necessarily be the best for another.
For example, some people love digging into details to understand how things work as it gives them security and confidence to then share this knowledge. Others are less interested in details (that’s definitely me) and love to experiment and tweak until they find a solution that works for them.
So how can we know how we are designed to communicate, make decisions and relate to each other?
This all comes down to our Energetic Profiles where each profile has their own strategy for making decisions, communications and expressing themselves in the way they are heard, seen and recognised.
Understanding this information and applying it to our work and life, will transform the way we relate to each other and will finally give us permission to be exactly who we are.
What are Energetic Profiles and how can they help us to understand ourselves and others better?
Once I looked at my client and her partner’s profiles, everything made sense.
Just as I thought, their energetic compatibility meant that her partner is a natural doer and multi-passionate multi-thinker. He loves being busy, spreading his energy in many directions and moving really fast. He feels most satisfied when he spends his day working on things he enjoys and that light him up.
He often tries to find shortcuts and may skip a few steps while getting things ‘done’ and then ends up going back to fix what was skipped if that is important. Nothing seems to move fast enough for him.
My client’s on the other hand, although a natural doer herself, she is someone who likes to work on one thing at a time. She operates best when she channels her energy into one thing and dispersing her energy will only slow her down and cause frustration. So the approach of throwing spaghetti on the wall to see which one sticks, is exhausting and confusing.
Of course, this doesn't mean that she can't have hobbies and other interests at the same time, but the majority of her focus and commitment goes into one main project. When this project is completed, or doesn't require that much of her energy anymore, she can move to something different.
Our Energy profile helps us understand whether we are best energetically designed to:
Initiate and get things off the ground, or
Take actions in response to an opportunity/invitation, or
Work on multiple projects simultaneously, or
Work on one thing at a time, or
Act as natural doers or better suited to be a guide and need rest in between
Knowing this about yourself and the people in your life will create an environment where instead of making each other wrong, we support and honour each other's differences.
From the workplace perspective, it allows us to decide how to best build our team and allocate resources so that each team member thrives and leverages their strengths while remain focused and productive each and every day.
Releasing doubt and uncertainty with Decision making strategy
Understanding your energetic capacity is a great first step but knowing your decision strategy can completely transform your life. This knowledge will enable you to become more certain, confident and express your thoughts with more precision and clarity. You will set clear personal and professional boundaries and create more ease and flow at work, business and home.
Looking into my client’s profile, we discovered that she is able to make decisions in the moment based on her gut feeling. Whereas for her partner is meant to sleep on decisions and wait for clarity. For him, making decisions too quickly in the moment often led to a sense of regret. We explored how they could honour their different decision-making processes, without expecting each other to be the same.
After our session, I asked my client what resonated with her the most and this was her feedback:
“I can say that everything you've mentioned makes sense ‒ for my partner specifically, the part where you talk about the fact that he needs to pause and re-visit his feelings before he takes action, that's the story of his life :) Which so far, we've both been translating as indecisiveness and it could make me feel frustrated quite often.
But now that I know it's just the way he is designed, I can give him the time and space he needs to confirm with his gut feeling that it's the right course of action rather than pushing him to decide immediately when I see it's something he is excited about.
Also, everything you said about me was spot-on ‒ like the fact that I want to be sure about all the future steps before taking action (rather than trusting that I will know what I need to know when it's time) and that I can only focus on one thing at a time or that I tend to take decisions quickly as I trust my gut feeling.
Our decision making strategy determines how we are designed to make decisions, and although none of us are meant to make decisions with our minds (your mind cannot make up its mind!), there are differences to consider such as:
Making decisions in the moment based on instinct or gut response, or
Waiting for emotion to subside before making a decision (usually its a good idea to sleep on it), or
Getting clarity by talking it out. Not to receive opinions from others, but to find clarity by voicing it out, or
Waiting a lunar cycle (28-30) days to make big decisions such as changing job, moving house, etc.
Whether it’s with a partner, our team, our kids or our friends, understanding the concept of decision making strategy gives us a language and framework to understand how we each operate best, so we can consciously work with our differences instead of personalising them.
What is your creative communication power?
Creative communication enables us to clearly communicate our ideas and thoughts in the most effective manner. But how we communicate and how the message is received depends a lot on the way the energy flows through our Throat centre.
The Throat is the centre for communication and turning thoughts and ideas into action. It translates ideas and possibilities as well as gives the energy for ‘doing’ into words’.
For many of us, the true power of communication and impact comes from our connection to other people. Meaning that we have to be invited into a conversation before our message is heard. It can often feel like no one hears, but speaking without being recognised or invited can cause a lot of frustration and disappointment. Not only that, but we can also be at the risk of people not really understanding what we are saying and burn our adrenals and cause thyroid damage.
For some, the opposite is true and they can truly “grab the bull by the horns” and “manifest their destiny” which conforms to the traditional success formula. For those people, waiting for an invitation and recognition will only burn their circuits and will leave them depleted.
If you fall into the category who gets more recognition when invited into conversations and opportunities, it may help to accept the fact that:
It is fine to be silent when you have nothing to say
If you do have something to share, the right people will feel it and naturally gravitate towards you
You have to let go of control regarding the timing of when you think you have to share your message and who should be there to receive it. Just surrender and trust that when the timing is right, you will know exactly what to say and how to say it.
There is so much more to be said about relationships, communication, decision making ‒ and I can go on and on. But the important thing here is to realise how unique we truly are not just on the physical, but also on the energetic layer. What makes one person feel grounded and supported is not what is necessarily needed by another.
Great leadership always starts with self-leadership and understanding ourselves on much deeper level. Only when we truly understand ourselves and our differences, we become more connected in our professional and intimate relationships as well as effective with those we work with.
Lena Thompson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lena Thompson is an award-winning Social Media marketer, NLP coach, Reiki Master, Human Design & Leadership Coach with a degree in BSC Computer Science.
In 2018 Lena left her corporate career after 15 years to find purpose, fulfilment and greater alignment with her destiny.
She is now coaching corporate employees, entrepreneurs, leaders and teams helping them to discover their highest potentials and make powerful decisions in business and in life.
Lena has co-authored Amazing Women of Influence book, published in Thriving Women magazine, spoke at live events in London and appeared in many podcasts.
