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How To Have A Brilliant 2023 Without Resolutions

Written by: AmyK Hutchens, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


I’m not a fan of resolutions. The excitement of a New Year fades fast, along with your willpower. One minute you’re shouting, “Yes, I made it to the gym for the third day in a row!” and the next you’re sighing, “Resolutions? What resolutions?!”

Whenever there is a marker in our lives –– birthday, anniversary, graduation, wedding, loss of a loved one, the birth of a baby – it causes us to stop our doing and spend more time reflecting. A New Year is no exception. But resolutions don’t sustain you for the entire year. In fact, research shows most people drop their resolutions pretty quickly, and a recent survey by Sundried revealed that 43% of people give up by February.

Before you go setting your resolutions, here are three questions to ignite brilliant conversations with “Me, Myself and I” so you can sustain your brilliance and up-level your life all year long.

1. Acceptance, Belonging & Inclusion – The Year of Connection

Ten years ago, the children’s New York Times bestseller, The One and only Ivan, won the 2013 Newbery Medal. This unforgettable novel was inspired by the true story of a captive gorilla. While the story celebrates the transformative power of unexpected friendships it is the deeper issue of how we regard (or disregard) one another that rattled hearts around the world.

  • How do “acceptance,” “belonging,” and “inclusion” influence your choices and actions?

This story is just as relevant today as many of us feel isolated, excluded or held “captive” socially, culturally, economically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or politically. Many of us feel excluded by certain laws, media outlets, and/or systems.

Sometimes our sense of not belonging is created from closed doors, external barriers, and others’ fears. Sometimes our sense of not belonging is created from our own stories about what happened, how we think the world works, our assumptions about others and events, or our own limiting beliefs.

Sometimes our sense of not being accepted or not including others stems from our own prejudices, unconscious biases, fears or closed minds and hardened hearts.

Lovingly challenging your assumptions and beliefs so you may lead with a more open, inviting, and inclusive heart can break you free from your own captivity.

Lovingly challenging others’ assumptions and beliefs so they may lead with a more open, inviting, and inclusive heart can break others free from captivity.

Use your voice this year to start the hard conversations with yourself and others. Make 2023 the year of greater connection, inclusivity, understanding and unexpected friendships.

2. Walking in the Dark – The Year of Transforming Your Pain Into Power

There are moments in life when we have more questions than answers, when it seems like life is just a bit more “in your face” than normal. While these moments are often referred to as “a dark time,” New York Times bestselling author and former Episcopal priest, Barbara Taylor Brown, encourages us to turn out the lights and embrace the spiritual darkness, for it is in the dark, she maintains, that one can truly see.

  • How much more is in store for you if you can learn to walk in the dark?

In darkness we find courage, we understand the world in new ways, and frequently it is while we are in the dark that we grow the most. The pain we experience can be a gift when we’re willing to do the mental & emotional “work” to transform our pain into power.

This year, invite your personal pain for a hike. Let her be heard. Let her vent. Let her have her full say. Let her express herself under the luminous night sky. Only when she feels fully seen, heard & witnessed, will she begin to let you fully walk back into the light.

3. BHAGS are Out – The Year of Setting Feeling Goals

Sometimes we just get it backwards. Sometimes we realize it before it’s too late.

Danielle LaPorte, a wise-cracking, irreverent modern-day philosopher, author and speaker about desire, who once ran a future-studies think tank, encourages us to work and play more creatively.

If you ever wondered if following your passion really pays – she’s a prime example that it does. Danielle might just shift your perspective this year with one fundamental question:

  • What do you need to do to feel the way you want to feel?

In a world that often teaches us to chase things that don’t generate happiness and fulfillment, if we focus on how we want to feel, and make choices that generate these desired feelings, we win every time. Too often though, we reach a finish line only to find that the line has moved or that the line leaves us feeling emptier than we anticipated. LaPorte encourages us to define our core desires first so our goals manifest the way we want to feel along the way.

It’s not cheesy or inappropriately optimistic to prioritize the journey over the end game. Asking yourself how you want to feel as you work toward your goals influences the overall quality of your human experience. Life is a series of choices, many of which are seemingly out of your control. However, you can control your thoughts, your focus, your effort, your energy, your level of commitment, your mindset [attitude], your response [words & actions] and how you want to feel as you go about creating your precious and unique life.

This year, choosing to be lit-up from your choices so you can be the best version of you, is a gift to yourself and everyone you connect with along the way. May 2023 be your year of peaceful, beautiful, brilliant connectivity ‒ with yourself and others.

Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!


AmyK Hutchens, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

AmyK Hutchens is an international award-winning speaker, Amazon 1 bestselling author of the books, The Secrets Leaders Keep and GET IT: Five Steps to the Sex, Salary and Success You Want, and has 23+ years’ experience training and coaching with clients such as Whole Foods, The Home Depot, Starbucks Canada, Expedia, and hundreds more. AmyK is the Founder of the global Self-leadership platform, and shares with leaders HOW to confidently & competently navigate their toughest conversations. AmyK received her M.S. from Johns Hopkins University and has been a featured guest on numerous TV, radio & print networks including Bloomberg, Entrepreneur, USA Today, US News & World Report, NBC & ABC.



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