Written by: Kari Kling, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Parenting may be the most important and difficult job we will ever have and it often comes with little preparation or training. Whether we like it or not, as parents, WE are our child’s first teachers.
As adults, we maintain our homes, our cars, our electronics and more, but when do we ever maintain our parenting? Many of us have had to learn more about keeping up with job-related information than about how to parent through the different stages of childhood.
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, yet we are all expected to know how to parent effectively. I believe there is an expectation in most cultures that we are just supposed to know what to do and that professional help isn’t sought until there is a crisis in the family.
To make matters worse, when we don’t know how to handle a parenting situation, we may experience some level of ‘Mom or Dad Shame’ and feelings of inadequacy arise. Do you agree?
I am on a mission to change this type of expectation. We don’t hesitate to hire a coach to help our child with a sport or a specific subject being learned. As adults, we may hire a personal trainer, a designer to help us with our new home, or an assistant to help us with our business.
Incorporating the role of a parent coach into your family’s lives can guide you in achieving your parenting goals without yelling, fighting, and feeling like you’re saying the same things over and over to your children. If you have ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated and exhausted by parenting, you are not alone.
Do you ever…
raise your voice at your child and then feel guilty about it?
find yourself comparing your parenting skills to others?
feel like you’re doing too much, or too little, for your child?
feel like everyone else has their parenting ‘all together,’ but you don’t?
ask your parent friends for advice, knowing that they may be struggling themselves?
wonder how your child best learns?
dream of increased peace and calmness within your family dynamics but aren’t sure how to make it happen?
If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of the questions above, then it may be time to hire a parent coach.
Yes, parenting can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to feel this way the majority of the time. A skilled parent coach can provide strategies to lessen the feeling of being overloaded, while bringing much calm and joy back into your life and role as a parent.
Not only does this make life more enjoyable in the present, but it will impact how your children see you as their parent and the legacy they will carry forward to their own children.
Most of us fall into ‘The Parenting Cycle,’ meaning that we parent as we were parented. It’s familiar and what we know. Whether our own childhood was wonderful, filled with trauma, or somewhere in between, we most likely bring these behaviors to our own parenting unless there has been an awareness and effort to make changes if necessary.
Parent coaches may also provide strategies that can transform a situation of ‘discipline’ into a positive, teachable moment while preventing a crisis from ever happening in the first place. It’s about knowing how to ‘pick our battles,’ being aware of where our child is developmentally, and understanding how to turn it around quickly. Yes, it’s all about providing opportunities for our children to grow, learn and become who they were meant to be while enjoying the process!
Possible topics that may be considered to work with a parent coach include:
Behavioral issues
Learning issues
Sibling rivalry
Support with providing structure in routines
Understanding emotional/social development
Homework issues
Self-esteem
Increasing attention and responsibility
How to handle a hardship (divorce, illness, death of a loved one)
Screen time battles
Parent/Child relationships
Childhood stress
Transitions
Communication
Other various personalized parenting/topics
When thinking about hiring a parent coach, here are my top 3 questions to ask yourself:
Is the parent coach also a parent?
Is the parent coach qualified in terms of education/training/certification?
Do you feel comfortable talking to this person and believe that the coach’s philosophy of raising children aligns with your parenting goals?
Working with a parent coach doesn’t have to be a full-time endeavor. Many parents hire a parent coach who understands their parenting goals and family dynamics. This way, if a situation arises it may easily be resolved after just a session or two. In today’s world, most parent coaching sessions are hosted online, so you don’t even have to leave your home to take part in one.
Whether your children are very young or in their teens, it’s never too late to work with a parent coach. Hiring a coach may not be the first thing a parent thinks about when focusing on their family, but doing so may prevent many parenting hurdles over the years, allowing you to become the kind of parent you always wanted to be.
It’s time to say ‘goodbye’ to any feelings of shame connected to our parenting journey as we strive to be the most effective parents possible. This is paramount…because we don’t get a second chance at our children’s childhood.
Kari Kling, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Kari Kling, M.Ed., Parent Coach
Kari’s 40 years of experience as an internationally recognized educator, counselor, parent coach, and author/speaker has given her the expertise to guide thousands of parents to reach their parenting goals. Kari’s solid understanding of how we behave and learn is grounded in neuroscience.
Kari is a sought after keynote and featured speaker for national and international conferences. She loves to meet and work with parents and their families in her home state of Arizona, nationally and globally.
Kari states that her most powerful learning experience about parenting has been being the mom to her 20-year-old twin boys, as they have been her greatest teachers.
You can email Kari to learn more about her parent coaching services at: kari@karikling.com
or check out her website and social media.
