Written by: Sandra Daniele, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Life takes a toll on us every day and often we struggle to find joy in our daily life. Joy has turned into binge watching TV or scrolling social media after the end of a long day. When was the last time you asked yourself what you needed to feel good about your life and the way you spend your time?
Here are 5 ways to start cultivating guilt free joy in your life.
1. Break Free from Your Comfort Zone
Your comfort zone keeps you safe. Safe in the same place, doing the same things with the same people. It leaves little room for the unexpected and it also creates a feeling of being stuck or stagnant. There is little room for joy if every day you are getting up and doing the same thing because it's comfortable, it's what you know, and you believe it is what is expected of you.
If you are willing to step into the discomfort of the unknown, you will reap the rewards for doing something different. Even small changes make a difference. Maybe you get up at 7:00 every morning, instead get up at 6:45, or get up at 7:15 but break free from the comfort zone that you are in right now.
For you to grow as a person, there needs to be some discomfort just outside your comfort zone to reclaim and rediscover your joy.
2. Do Something for Yourself
Oftentimes we don't take time for ourselves, as we are worn down by the expectations and needs of our aging parents, our partner or maybe our kids. Even if your kids have left home and you are an empty nester, they still call and they still need you. It can be overwhelming and on top of that you have job expectations and have a growing to-do list. You probably feel like there is no extra time for you. It is exhausting to try to keep up with all the tasks that you believe you need to be doing.
The truth is you need to spend less time doing and more time being. Your life was meant to be lived and enjoyed. Maybe you have become so far removed from who you are with all the expectations that you have forgotten what you even enjoy doing. This can feel challenging when you don't remember the last time you allowed yourself to do something just for you.
Allow yourself to think about the following questions. What is one thing you have always wanted to do but haven't allowed yourself to do? Pick something that is within reach, but you have limited yourself from taking action, maybe out of fear or guilt. Imagine yourself taking action, what feelings comes up for you while you're doing this activity? Now go do it.
3. Get Out of Your Head and into Your Heart
Pay attention to the feelings in your heart. We get trapped in showing up the way others need for us to show up while putting our own needs on the backburner. Often feelings come up around how this makes us feel but those feelings get suppressed.
Maybe you feel guilty, maybe you feel angry, or maybe you feel resentful. When you don't pay attention to those feelings, or you push them down to avoid conflict they start to build. It becomes a very destructive pattern when those thoughts and feelings start spinning in your head and they become the only thing you can focus on.
This takes away your joy because you are living in your head and not living from your heart in the present moment. If you have ever felt an empty feeling or felt a void in your life it is probably because your heart is sorting through unresolved feelings.
When you find the courage to release the repetitive thoughts that aren't serving you, they will no longer have power over you. In that release you find your joy.
4. Release Resistance to Uncomfortable Emotions
Have you gotten good at labeling the empty feeling or void you feel on some days? Maybe you have labeled this feeling anxiety, depression, lack of sleep. That might be true because those are all real things, but often we don’t know what we are feeling. We label feelings and put them in a box because that feels easier than taking the time to look at them.
What is the fear in looking at anger, sadness, or another emotion that pops up for you? The resistance to these uncomfortable feelings does not make them disappear. Emotions come and go if we recognize them, feel then and then release them.
When we don't pay attention to the unresolved emotions such as anger or resentment, they continue to show up in an effort to get our attention. The emotion wants to be seen, heard and processed.
It is in the resolution of the emotions that your joy is hiding. Joy wants out and it wants you to feel good. If you have deep rooted emotional trauma seek the help of a trained therapist. Start today releasing the emotions you feel safe to process on your own.
5. Walk Away from Comparison
It is hard to not compare ourselves to others especially with the influx of social media influences. We are bombarded by images of luxury items and beautiful people. Filters are the norm, and we lose track of what's real and what's not real. Our mind gets confused when we see these images, we think, I don't look like that, my house doesn't look like that.
You get caught in a comparison trap that steals your joy and limits your ability to see all the amazing things that you already have or how unique you and beautiful you are as an individual. There is no one else in the world that looks like you, that's amazing. Being unique is a gift and there is no reason to compare yourself to another.
We were never meant to be the same as the person next to us. Take a positive spin on comparison by looking at an old version of yourself compared to where you are today. Congratulations on how far you have come.
May your days be brighter as you incorporate new way to cultivate guilt free joy.
Sandra Daniele, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sandra Daniele is a certified life coach who has helped numerous women break through limiting beliefs that held them back from relationships, jobs, and the life they desired to live. Sandra is passionate about joining women on their journey to self-love and acceptance while guiding them to confidently show up as who they are, not who they think they need to be. She has discovered the secrets to identifying what is most important in life and ho w to live authentically. She gladly shares these secrets with her clients. In her free time, Sandra enjoys beach yoga, reading, and time with family and friends.
