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Your Inner Roommate

Written by: Terrie Nathan, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.

Like it or not, we all have an inner roommate. The inner roommate is the voice inside our head that we all have, that judges and doubts you and tells you untruths about yourself, you know whom I mean, the ongoing chatterbox of self-doubt. It goes on and on. That darn inner Mental chatter. We’ve all been there, and I know that at times I have allowed my mental chatter to take me down a rabbit hole or two. It can be difficult to get out of our heads at times.

The good news is you can “exit stage left” this inner roommate and all of the negative mental chatter that goes with it. It just takes some daily practice to build positive mental habits. While it doesn’t happen overnight, it can certainly be done if you are setting yourself up with a powerful positive mindset.

Awareness is a key step. Learning to identify and become aware of your inner dialogue is the first step to freeing yourself from the influence of its negative dialogue.

It’s important to acknowledge your thoughts. Our emotions aren’t good or bad, they are just signals telling us something is going on. Often our inner roommate is focusing on what’s wrong vs. what’s strong.

Negative self-talk is NEVER in your best interest. Negative feelings do, however, give us an insight into the state of our mind. These types of thoughts can also reflect our energy levels which can negatively affect our day in many ways.

If we are experiencing something negative, we need to see what is causing it. Slow down long enough to understand what you are experiencing and then take the time to view it from a different perspective. Once we do this, it loses its power over us. At any point, we can make the positive choice to look at everything going on within us from a positive perspective.

We can never control our thoughts or stop them from coming up. We can, however, control our reaction to them and refuse to be drawn into them. It’s important to get to know which mental chatter is toxic and what’s providing us solid direction and guidance (your gut feelings).

Changing our view of and relationship to our thoughts helps us to change the nature of what we may be experiencing at any given time. Once we realize this, our relationship and reaction to that experience shifts.

Once we are aware, it’s time to talk back to your inner roommate with positive self-talk. Talking back to your inner critic is an important part of taking away its power. To do this, you need to start noticing the good things about yourself. This way, your brain starts looking for evidence to support the more positive you.

We condition our minds to value what we watch, read, view on social media, and discuss. Be mindful of what you are feeding your spirit life; what absorbs our interests shapes how we think and feel. It may be time to go on a media diet of sorts…what are you letting into your inner feed?

I love this analogy here and find it a very helpful visualization when looking to change the proverbial channel, if you will. Every time you hear your inner roommate saying something that doesn’t align well with the highest version of yourself, imagine taking the remote control and pressing down on the volume button—slowly decreasing the volume, lower and lower…

Decrease that volume down to a whisper, and finally, lower the volume completely.

And finally, I find it helpful to take time to reflect on at least four positives throughout the day or at the end of the day. I like to do it during the day as it helps me to remain grateful and full of joy.

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important human relationship you’ll ever have.


Terrie Nathan

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Terrie Nathan, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Terrie Nathan is an International Best-selling Author, Coach, Speaker, and CEO/Founder of Strong Girl Enterprises. She coaches clients to improve their lives, relationships, and ability to perform in business by setting & achieving goals and building positive routines. She also coaches youth to build their confidence by teaching them strategies on positive self-talk, self-worth, and body image.

Her practice is grounded in Positive Psychology, a research-based branch of psychology that studies what really causes people to thrive and flourish in their lives and work and how we can apply those findings in practical and positive ways.

Terrie has now made it her life's mission to coach these transformational strategies of empowerment by partnering with clients and organizations worldwide.


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