Why Not Giving 10/10 is Hindering You
- Brainz Magazine
- May 5, 2021
- 5 min read
Written by: Michelle Gauthier, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Think about all the decisions you make in a day. It starts the moment you wake up. Do you hit snooze? Is there time to gather your thoughts? Will you do a workout before you have breakfast? What clothes will you wear today? On and on and on. Our day is full of decisions, each one taking more energy. So why, in our personal and professional lives, do we make life harder for ourselves?
The first time I read The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart, I was blown away. The premise of the book is that the author didn't want to use more energy and time in a day to make decisions. Whenever he encountered a scenario or situation where he was required to make a decision, he would leave it to chance. He would write down (or think of) six options. These ranged from expected choices to deep fantasies. Then he would roll a die. Whatever the number landed on, he would do the corresponding action, no matter what. Because there were options that seemed a little risqué, even though they were deep desires, he did have moments where he considered not doing it. Then reconnected with why he set up this process in the beginning and did it anyway.
I am telling you about that story for two reasons. One, it shows how people can think and their deepest desires that they usually never act upon. Two, it brings up the idea that we use so much energy and time making decisions. The decisions I am here to shine a light on, is your daily decision to not go 100% full-out.
That's right. Now you may be sitting there wondering who I am to accuse you of slacking in your life. I challenge you to check where that feeling is coming from, notice your own reservations about the feeling, and where are you judging yourself in your life? I am not here to judge or accuse. I am here to shed some light. Going full out in your life does not mean you have to go absolutely insane. It means that you make things happen that you typically hold yourself back from doing.
This can be in your professional, personal, or romantic lives. Since I mentioned energy, it actually takes MORE energy to hold yourself back. Think about it for a moment. You have been thinking about asking your boss for a promotion for a little while now. Working up the courage and trying to find the reasons you are 'good enough' to vouch for this raise. Every day you don't ask your boss, you use that energy wondering, thinking, worrying, and living in a life you don’t want (as you clearly want that promotion). This could go for days, weeks, months. Finally, you might convince yourself you don't actually want it anyway because it'd be too much more work, your hours will shift, you'll have to learn a new component of the job etc. Now imagine, you went 100% in that situation. You would have thought about asking your boss for a raise/promotion. If you think it, there's a part of you that feels you deserve it. Then instead of brooding on it, you would email/call/walk down the hall to visit your boss and schedule a time to talk. You would have acted. Right then and there. Maybe you would even go into their office, and bring it up right away, so there was no more time to dwell on it. Those few moments of potential anxiety, fear, lack of courage, outweigh the extended dread, fear, and not living your absolute potential.
Going 100% means that you make things happen no matter what. If your eye is on a promotion, make it happen. Talk to your boss. Fluff yourself up. If they say no, then listen to their reasons, recommit to getting that promotion and put their feedback into action.
If you're like me, you overthink things a lot. I do it in my relationships, in my business, and in random little areas of life. I have had full-blown conversations in my head, which convinced me I didn't need to have the actual conversation. Here's what I've learned. Those conversations I'm worried about having because I am uncomfortable, have usually gone better than my head predicted. The tasks and moments to voice my opinion that I didn't do/take, I dwell on after, and I reaffirm that I am no good. Holding myself back in those moments drained my energy because I would dwell on them, sometimes subconsciously. All the 'what ifs' that weren't answered because I didn’t go full out and find out.
Think of agility training. If you had the phys-ed experience I did growing up in Canada, you had to do agility training at some point. Run as fast as you could to a cone/pylon and then change directions. The energy it took to stop and pivot was huge! If you didn’t have a great grip on the bottom of your shoes, you couldn't just turn on the dime, you'd likely slide a little then have to gain momentum again. That is what it's like when you stop yourself short of going 10/10. Even a 9/10 takes more energy and emotional toll on you because you are just in arms reach of what you really want, what fuels you, the thing that excites you, and then you stop and pivot because it's too scary or hard or whatever emotions come up. Constantly bouncing between 'should I do it, no I shouldn't. Always getting close and then changing direction. Now imagine the 100m sprint. You run as hard as you absolutely can for the 100m, and then you get to slow down as you need afterwards. Our 10/10 is like a 100m sprint. We go full out, and yes, it can be exhausting, yet we get the easy ride and recovery afterwards.
I ask you, do you want to be living life unfulfilled and always getting close to your goal yet never fully see your capabilities? Are you willing to keep living life 'good enough'? Do you want to just be in your life? Or would you rather be actively living your life? Making amazing things happen that you never thought possible? Do you want to be riding the high of going after what you want, no matter how crazy it seems?
I know what my choice would be.
Michelle Gauthier, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Michelle Gauthier, an honors graduate of Psychology and an international life and confidence coach, who writes about fitness, self-love, and boosting confidence. She has overcome a toxic workplace that left her with anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. Michelle is now a thriving founder of Phoenix Coaching, following her passion to teach and coach millennials to regain control of their lives, build their inner power and to live in possibility.
