Written by: Vicki Chisholm, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Did you ask for validation again? A second opinion from someone else, other than your instincts? Oh, how I remember those days of chronic self-doubt.
Gaining validation from others can sometimes be the one thing that takes you from “Yes, I’ve got it” to “I’m not good enough.”
Let’s compare these for a second here, “Yes, I’ve got it!” means you are following your heart. Compared to following others where their opinions give you a feeling of “I’m not good enough.”
Not being good enough in business is a self-projection into business life, and this ultimately transforms to YOU being your business.
Let us clear something up here; you are NOT your business. This is where many get emotionally enthralled in the rollercoaster of the Entrepreneur. You are an aspect of your business. Without you, your business would not exist. Without you, your business would not be a selling point. However, how you run your business DOES NOT DEFINE YOU as an individual. If you can master this, your emotional resilience will be phenomenal.
Your inspiration and aspirations are TO DO, BE & HAVE. Trust yourself to have all these three.
When you fully trust yourself, your gut, intuition, ideas, etc., you stop wasting time. The more you trust yourself, the more you can then learn to trust others too. In business, you need trust!
Running a successful business takes strength and confidence. Confidence to make decisions, confidence to take a leap of faith and follow your intuition. The same goes for your life.
To be clear, seeking feedback is not the same as seeking validation. This validation is quite different from feedback.
Feedback tells you how your message/service/product is being perceived. Validation says, "I’m lacking confidence" and need approval that this is something I can run with.
When you enter the validation stage of thinking, something in your gut is already telling you it is not right. Here are some things you can do to help yourself work through this:
Take a step back, go for a walk, distract your mind from the topic itself. Once you have focused on something else for a while, you can come back to your topic and revisit it with a fresh perspective.
Pick up a pen and paper and ask yourself what the pros and cons are.
Tune in to your body’s response to what you want to do. Your body will give you the answers.
On another note, seeking validation is a TRAUMA RESPONSE that shows up when you are about to do something that is moving you out of your comfort zone. Business owners find this a recurring theme.
There is another way to clear this up, re-wiring your brain and falling back into love with yourself. When you learn that the old habits of fear and uncertainty are creeping in, you can choose again. (Gabrielle Bernstein taught me this phrase in her book, and it has stuck with me.)
This is something I help my clients with on a daily basis, to learn to trust themselves in life and business, to follow their instincts to trust their guts, and to listen to the inner voice that is guiding them to be EXACTLY who they are, in life and in business.
One of my best-selling programs is the "Fast Track Your Life and Business in 6 weeks". Using holistic therapy and coaching for the ultimate transformation, you too can learn how to trust your instincts again and overcome the fears of getting it wrong, build up your emotional resilience and succeed with the goals in your deepest desires.
Book your FREE 30-minute session HERE, and let's help you fast track to success in your life and business.
Vicki Chisholm, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Vicki Chisholm is an International Personal Power Coach in the UK, combining coaching and holistic therapy to transform the lives and business development of mumpreneurs and female entrepreneurs. She is highly engaged in Transforming the Lives and Businesses of Mums and Female entrepreneurs around the world. Vicki transformed her own life from: Domestic Abuse, Autoimmune Disease, Anxiety, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and is also a former successful Virtual Assistant. Vicki’s incredible intuition has guided her to retrain and overcome the impossible in her own life and now she shares this success with her growing list of clients. Vicki’s passion to lead women back to their inner empowering world is what makes her work priceless.