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The Cycle Of Abusive Relationship

Written by: Mayra Cardozo, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Abusive relationships are, unfortunately, increasingly common in our society. We call abusive relationships where there is an imbalance between both parties. These relationships are based on oppression, where one party oppresses another by imposing a relationship of superiority and subordination.

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There are several formats for abusive relationships. They can most often occur in romantic relationships but also in friendship, family, and employment relationships. In the love sphere, it is more common for women to be victims because of the patriarchal society and the oppressive beliefs introjected in women that they must be passive and do everything to sustain a relationship. In employment relationships, unfortunately, women are also the primary victims because power in patriarchy is constituted as imminently male, so any woman who tries to occupy spaces ends up suffering in some way violence. This theme involves several themes. However, it has the systematic and that these relationships operate in common. Abusive relationships usually have a well-defined cycle. This cycle has three phases:

(i) the tensioning of the relationship,

(ii) the act of violence, and

(iii) the aggressor's repentance.

In the first phase, increased tension, it is perceived that the predominant characteristic is the aggressor's irritation and anger toward the victim. The abuser clarifies to the victim that she does not please him. This behavior can be, for example, acts of "persecutions" and "control" attitudes on the part of the aggressor.

After the first phase, the victim already suffers from low self-esteem and low self-confidence, making her more susceptible to the second cycle stage: violence.

In an abusive relationship, violence can manifest itself in many ways; physical violence is just one of them.

Psychological violence is the protagonist of abusive relationships through aggression, manipulation, isolation, silent treatment, and other forms.

Finally, in the third stage of the cycle, the aggressor shows regret for his actions or asks the victim for a second chance.

The victim, already involved in an oppressive logic, no longer knows what a healthy relationship is and already enjoys the hormones released by the adrenaline of an abusive relationship and ends up giving in to the aggressor's regret.

And we go back to the first stage of the cycle.

If you have read this article and identified yourself in an abusive relationship, there is no such thing as seeking therapeutic or legal help.

The report, abusive relationships should not be understood as usual or as "part of

the game."

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Mayra Cardozo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Mayra is one of the pioneers in Brazil in feminist coaching and is something she is passionate about. Despite being a lawyer and partner in a famous office in Brazil and a university professor of Human Rights, these were not enough for her. She always wants to make a difference in people's lives. It was then that she discovered her passion and became a life coach; she has a brilliant curriculum involving the best national and international courses. The objective of your work is to empower human beings to be their best version and help them emancipate themselves from socially constructed beliefs to be their essence. Her approach is different. It aims to unite the coaching process with the development of an inclusive and emancipatory awareness.



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