Written by: Angelie Kapoor, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take” – Michael Scott
I don’t typically resonate with advice from characters on popular television shows. However, this piece of advice from the character, Michael Scott, who was played by Steve Carrell on the television show, The Office caught my attention.
It’s a statement that is absolutely true, direct and to the point. Sometimes perhaps that’s what we need to help bring awareness to important things in our lives. To help bring awareness to things, we need to pay attention to and maybe even address.
Have you ever had a goal or a task or step that would move you forward towards accomplishing a goal but for some reason, something was hindering you from taking that shot? Something was keeping you from moving out of your comfort zone. Maybe it had to do with meeting new people or drawing attention to yourself, such as public speaking.
I’ve typically found in myself as well as people I work with that this inability to move forward is fear, which can show up in different ways. For many of my clients, this fear shows up in having a lack of confidence, self-worth and imposter syndrome. Sometimes we don’t even realize these fears are so actively affecting us. And maybe you’re experiencing them and haven’t realized that either. So let’s look at them a bit deeper.
Confidence is the belief we have in ourselves regarding abilities, skills, talents, or natural attributes. We are all dealing with confidence pretty much all the time in different ways with different experiences, circumstances and scenarios. It plays a big part in our ability to achieve our goals.
Our goals tend to be things that we aim for that are bigger and better, requiring us to get out of our comfort zone to accomplish. Our confidence, our belief in ourselves is definitely tested over and over again as we take steps to move forward in achieving our goals.
I see myself as well as my clients struggle with confidence, typically when we need to do something unfamiliar that we’ve never done before. We have to make that leap, take that opportunity to try something new, to step out of our comfort zone.
So how do you overcome a lack of confidence in order to keep moving forward? Here are a few tips that you might find helpful:
Assess the needed skills or resources of the event or task that you feel under confident about. Chances are you already have a majority of the needed skills or resources. Practice and build up the ones you are lacking. Before you know it, your confidence level will be much higher!
A lot of our fear comes from the unknown. The unknown outcome, things we don’t know that we think we should. Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen? And what would you do if it did happen? Squashing this fear of the unknown helps you to realize that taking that leap isn’t quite as impossible as you make it out to be. And if the worst thing does happen, you’ll know exactly how to handle it.
Think of a role model who has the level of confidence you seek. Someone you can picture who has accomplished what you are aspiring to accomplish. It they can do it, why can’t you? There isn’t anything extraordinary about them. They just took that leap. If they can do it, so can you!
Self-worth is often used as a synonym for “self-esteem.” Though our self-worth should be about valuing ourselves as the person we are, we tend to measure ourselves based on external actions and aspects. Self-worth should really be about who we are and not about what we do.
Our self-worth plays a big part in our ability to accomplish our goals. Our low self-worth or self-esteem tends to come from our focus on what we lack instead of what we possess. Our self-esteem can cause us to compare in unbalanced ways. When we realize comparing and measuring what we do isn’t what it’s about and focus on who we are, we start making major strides towards success and accomplishment.
So what can we do to build up our self-worth? Perhaps you may find these tips helpful:
Again, your self-worth should really be about who you are and not about what you do. Think about or list all the things that make up you. Are you hard-working, dedicated, loyal? Are you friendly and easy to get along with? Are you a master problem-solver and strategist?
You may find yourself comparing. Usually, the mind tends to have us compare ourselves with others. Ask yourself if you’re comparing apples to apples or are you comparing apples to oranges. It’s highly likely that your comparison isn’t balanced. You’re not comparing yourself on an even scale. You might be comparing your growth of Instagram followers to someone who has been building their following for years, whereas you just started a couple of months ago. You may be comparing your project management skills to someone who’s been doing it for years and you just started. See what I mean?
Imposter syndrome is when you have feelings of being inadequate or feeling like a fraud because of your self-perceived lack of intelligence, experience or skills. Imposter syndrome creates major self-doubt in your abilities despite your successes.
Imposter syndrome is something I see lots of us, including my clients, struggle with. We all have had a time or two where we felt like we were ill-prepared for a job role or an experience. We’ve focused on our lack of education, skills or experience when embarking on a new adventure.
Imposter syndrome can keep us from success by having us dwell in our self-doubt. It can keep us from rising to our fullest potential by keeping us dim and believing in our self-perceived lack of intelligence and adequacy. When we start to remember our successes and accomplishments, we realize that it’s not all about our intelligence or experience. It’s also about who we are that we begin to dissolve our self-doubt.
So how do you do that? Try these tips which you might find helpful:
List out your accomplishments and successes to diminish the self-doubt. A lot of us tend to just be on the go all the time. We’re going, going, going all the time and don’t really stop to recognize what we’ve accomplished. Chances are you are far more accomplished and have more knowledge and skills than you give yourself credit for.
Realize that when you find yourself taking on a new role or experience, it’s not only knowledge that got you there. In a majority of roles or experiences, hard skills or learned knowledge and education are only a small percent of the requirement of that role or to be successful. Soft skills and natural tendencies play a much greater part in consideration and success.
As you can see, our mindset is huge in our abilities to accomplish things and be successful. Our minds are very powerful in its perception and how we think about ourselves in terms of others and external aspects.
The next time you are struggling with confidence, self-worth and imposter syndrome, as yourself if what your mind is perceiving is really true. Our minds have a way of playing tricks on us especially when we’re pursuing some amazing goals and desires.
Be mindful of your mind and how it’s affecting your perspective of yourself, others and your success.
Angelie Kapoor, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
After 17 years of working her way up the corporate ladder, today Angelie Kapoor is a Leadership Empowerment Strategist, writer and Chakradance™ Facilitator in Seattle, WA. She utilizes her years of experience, skills and passion for helping and supporting others to succeed. With her achievement motivation and results driven approach, she helps ambitious, outgoing, hardworking women create a deeper level of fulfillment and balance in their careers and at home. By approaching their goals from a perspective of clarity, positivity and empowerment. Sign up for her free weekly inspirational and motivational emails here.