Written by: Caroline Bellenger, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
In a world full of shiny new objects, we are presented with new opportunities constantly like never before in previous generations. There was a time when only the rich or well-connected could start a business or buy the latest gadget. But with millions of entrepreneurs globally chasing their dreams and creating their empires, it would be easy to say that the world has become our oyster. This means that there is very little we can't achieve if we put our mind to it, and you no longer must have wealth and education to create success in business or life.
And while it is essential to be grateful for these incredible opportunities and advantages that our forefathers never had, there is also a darker side to the oyster that has become our world. The hustle and never-ending search for success and achievement have become a burden for many entrepreneurs to carry. That burden is the illusion that financial success, new business milestones, and award-winning recognition will bring ongoing fulfillment and happiness.
For many people, these wins will be celebrated and enjoyed instantly and then quickly forgotten as they seek out a new challenge and experience to validate their existence. This never-ending cycle of ideas, opportunities, challenges, and shiny new objects often ends with overwhelm, exhaustion, and a feeling of despair that they haven’t quite reached their pinnacle of success. The simple truth is that we will never be gratified or contented if we keep looking for substantiation outside of ourselves.
Being successful and finding happiness comes from living a life congruent with your values and resonates with your authentic self. Have you ever met those people who have absolutely nothing and face the most difficult situations; yet, they have a beaming smile and an air of confidence that shows they are completely fulfilled and happy with their life. They may strive for more, but they don't let their current situation have a negative impact on their state of being.
Finding this state of joy despite turbulent times is a stepping stone to success in all the other situations you experience in life. Suppose you can develop this level of self-actualization. In that case, you are more likely to find true joy in both your journey of becoming an entrepreneur and gratitude for each achievement you reach along the way. You will also be much more adept at taking the necessary risks to create a successful business because you will have no fear of failing. Why would you? You love and appreciate yourself regardless of your outside achievements.
The five main steps to realizing this are:
1. Self-awareness
Learning about ourselves can be an ugly process. We can choose to practice mediation, journal our thoughts, seek support from a professional therapist, or many other strategies. Whichever way you decide to tackle this, know that total self-awareness requires you to acknowledge the wonderful things about yourself and the not-so-great stuff. Accepting our faults and unhealthy behaviors can be challenging, but the freedom to create positive change comes with it. There is no room for denial in accurate self-awareness.
2. Understand your why
When you know what is important to you and what drives you to succeed, you will be more focused on achievements aligned with you. Without this, many people chase dreams because they want validation from other people. For many people, going to university might be their parents' dream, but deep down, what they want to do is be a gardener. All High Distinctions at university will not make them happy because this isn’t important to them. Work out what you want your legacy to be.
3. Self-care
For too long, people have treated self-care as something selfish and time-wasting. People can get caught in the trap of thinking they have to be "productive" all the time. Taking a day off to go to the beach is unjustifiable when you have a hundred sales calls to make. However, if you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, a day off for self-care can make you way more productive in the long term. My personal mantra is, “ if I am feeling good, then I can be a better boss, parent, entrepreneur, friend, or co-worker”.
4. Boundaries
Learn to say NO! Even to yourself when you see a new shiny object. If a situation or person is not bringing you joy, it is okay to remove yourself or lessen your interaction. If you are in an environment not aligned with your values or your expectations, any success will be short-lived. The more boundaries you can have that enable you to be surrounded by positive experiences, the more likely you will attract success.
5. Define Success
It is incredible how many people say they want to be successful but have never defined what success means to them. Is it a specific amount of money? Is it marrying the partner of your dreams? Is it buying that new Lamborghini? Is it a one-bedroom shack in the mountains with a vegetable patch? And then go deeper and ask yourself, how will you know when you are successful? What will it feel like and look like? If you do not know what success looks like, you will keep chasing it in the wrong places.
So as you explore this new and exciting world with all its opportunities to chase your dreams, stop and reflect on whether you have done the inside work that enables you to embrace a deep and fulfilling level of success.
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Caroline Bellenger, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Caroline is an award-winning entrepreneur, mental health advocate, and wellness warrior. After experiencing childhood sexual abuse and over twenty years of addiction and mental health issues, Caroline enhanced her life by creating a toolbox of strategies that enabled her to improve her mindset, and self-esteem and create three successful businesses. As the founder of “Be The Impossible”, she has coached and inspired thousands of women to overcome their own life obstacles and create fulfillment and joy. She is the co-author of three books including Amazon's 1 Best Seller "Queens In Sand Castles". She has climbed to Everest Base Camp and competed in national sporting teams, including representing Australia in Triathlon at 50. Her transformation and achievements are a testament to her courage and determination to define her future regardless of age or past challenges. Caroline has dedicated her life to empowering other women through inspirational keynotes, books, coaching programs, and online education.
