Self- Love For Imposters 101
- Aug 12, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 1, 2023
Written by: Lisa Lukretia Fischer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise
"Who said it is easy to be loved when you look over your shoulder and you only see wasteland?" - Roo Panes
I do not know about the wasteland he sees, but in my head, it shows up as the streets of masked Berlin in 2020 - no smiles, all white and blue.
Truth bomb for you: I have been super uninspired to write lately.
Even though I am grateful for this role of being an Executive Contributor, the opportunity to provide value, bring out my heart's content, connect with like-minded people, and be held accountable for writing consistently. As wonderful as that all is, I sometimes still get into a funk, like last month. It has just been rather struggling to even think of a topic.
In general, I love to write funny, uplifting, and educational content, however, there has been quite some upheaval in my personal life. This is not meant as an excuse to slack off. I just like going for authentic transparency lately.
To continue in this line, I’d like to bring out another honest point and the actual topic I want to talk about:
I have absolutely no clue what I am doing here.
There I said it.
I mean no one qualified my writing, no one explicitly told me it was good. So, who am I to even be writing this piece? That is not even what I do professionally.
"- Classic imposter-syndrome, Lisa!"
If you care, I'll elaborate a bit on how this looks for me. Or wait, is this even necessary? This has already been talked about so much. Or is that just my own personal filter, my bias, the ads Facebook targets for me? Is this "the so-called value I am looking to provide with my writing"? What is value? Isn't that subjective? Also, there are no new ideas anyways. I am sure I've heard that from a credible source. Can't remember where though - Sh***, I should organize my internet space more. Am I a bad writer just because I do not know all my sources? Or can I just go back to Austin Kleon's stealing like an artist? Do I have to know more about other authors to qualify as a proper artist to start stealing already? Or does reading over 100 books a year for years count? Wait – am I humble-bragging now? How disgusting. Why do I do all this justifying, and who am I asking for validation? Pretty sure that is not making my writing any better. Or is this just my way of self-therapy? Probably both, I guess. Who even cares? Do I need a permission to write publicly? Did the others get a more thorough background check? Did I miss something in the process? Am I following all the rules of good writing? Also, why I am still writing, isn’t that a bit old-school? It seems like way more people are doing reels on Instagram and TikTok. Do I have to switch my semi-undercover-marketing strategy now? It feels like even people on the street are talking about the topic I’ve been pondering for a while. Am I already too late for the party? Why do I even repeatedly put myself through this? This is insane. Am I insane?
Ok, enough with the brabbling, weird stream of consciousness extracted directly from my self-doubting self-talk!
Imposter syndrome has been haunting me since I went to high school and later on university and did not feel qualified enough to be doing what I was doing. I do not want to get into the psychology and childhood issues behind it now, but rather offer you a potential solution and one that worked for me.
My personal definition of this condition – which is very much a synthesis of everything I ever read – there, is that foolproof against copyright infringements? – is as follows:
Imposter-syndrome is the incessant questioning and/or lowering of one's own value due to an unfair or vague comparison with other people (and their work). It is highly likely also involves a low-esteem and the fear of judgement or rejection.
And it is a very normal reaction. It is an ancient tribal mechanism that our limbic brain evolved to deal with unknown situations. Meaning situations outside of our zone of safety, our place of comfort, our known bubble. Its universal basic solution: instant classification as a potential threat until proven otherwise. Giving you an adrenaline kick to get you vigilant.
All fine and good in real, life-threatening emergencies, not so much in the online world of coaching, writing, expressing emotions, and sharing vulnerable stories publicly. There it becomes very stressful because there is the perceived stress coming from the online world is constant and never fully proven “non-harmful” just because of the sheer size of reach.
So, the solution I was talking about:
Surrender to the feeling.
It sounds very basic. But I just gave up pushing this feeling away, which I had been doing in the past and which had only made it worse.
Moreover, I invited it in. I experienced it fully, I questioned it and then kindly asked it to leave and it did – well, for a while at least.
At the same time, I was doing mirror work on the topic of self-love. If you don’t know what that is, it is basically looking yourself in the eyes and saying all those wonderful affirmations that you probably saw on Instagram to your face. It is about learning to love and unconditionally accepting every aspect of yourself. It is about opening your heart to see the full beauty of yourself, with the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Those two processes combined over a couple of weeks actually worked wonders. My inner imposter still shows up, especially when I try something new or meet someone “important”. However, I am also learning to love this part of myself. It keeps me on my toes, curious and pushes me to improve. I know this is not a quick fix and you probably won’t feel like a completely different person after doing it. But it is a start to rewire your anxious brain.
And for me personally, it just gets me out of those negative spirals way faster now and calms me down. Remember changing your brain takes time. Be patient and kind with yourself!
Lisa Lukretia Fischer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lisa Lukretia Fischer is a certified professional coach who helps female entrepreneurs build a holistic framework for emotional resilience, mental focus, and improved productivity to succeed in business.
Having grown from her own serious health issues, physical and psychological trauma, she is now deeply passionate about the importance of wellbeing and resilience. With this awareness, she loves providing the space and structure to develop the former with the aim of bringing entrepreneurial desires to fruition.
Pulling from her background as an environmental engineer, trainer in competitive sports, a teacher at inclusive schools, and yoga instructor, she combines aspects of high performance, intermittent relaxation, and loving acceptance into her coaching philosophy.
Lisa holds degrees as Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner, COR.E Dynamics Wellbeing Specialist, and Hatha Yoga Instructor (RYT200).
Outside of her professional endeavors, she thoroughly enjoys reading books and dancing salsa.
