Written by: Rosalyn Palmer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I’ve been writing and speaking a lot about goal setting vs resolutions recently. I’m not a fan of resolutions but a big fan of goalsetting. As a therapist and NLP based coach I prefer not to speak of resolutions as these really represent wishes rather than a concrete instruction for you and your life. Let’s face it, how many New Year resolutions have you made and not stuck to in the past?
I noted that at the end of 2021 The Cambridge Dictionary announced ‘perseverance’ is its Word of the Year 2021. Perseverance is defined by Cambridge Dictionary as continued effort to do or achieve something, even when this is difficult or takes a long time.
That is where goals come into their own.
When you set a goal, you’re commanding yourself and gaining momentum in the direction of your vision or dream. Goal-setting is arguably the most important skill you can ever develop. Like the continued effort that perseverance underpins it then takes consistency and little, regular actions to head in the direction of that vision.
The trick is in not getting distracted or disillusioned. Often you can’t really see the progress or have a ‘one step forward and two steps backwards’ sort of a day. So here is advice that I share with my executive coaching clients that allows you to add an element of perseverance to your goal setting for 2022.
Tennis star Venus Williams says: "I don't focus on what I'm up against. I focus on my goals and I try to ignore the rest."
If you focus on your dream, imagining it is real in the same way as athletes visualise their wins, you brain can’t tell the difference between what is and what you imagine, so it begins to experience a rise in levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that drives you and motivates you. So, take a moment now, close your eyes and visualise yourself as having succeeded in 2022 in achieving your most desired goal. Right now. Stop what you are doing and make that mental image in your mind. Hear what you would be hearing and feel deep in your body and soul the wonderful sensations of having persevered to success.
Motivational Goals are the first step in an easy to implement 5-step process.
Here is the second. Together with imagining them to be real, it is crucial to set meaningful goals that make you want to do things you haven’t done before or managed to succeed at previously. For example, you want to get fitter so you set a goal to get up half an hour earlier every day and go for a run or do an exercise DVD. You can even visualise yourself doing it.
So far, so good.
Now, ask yourself:
‘Why do I want to do this?’.
‘What has not doing it cost me this year?’.
‘How would doing it make me feel about myself?’.
Once you gain this deeper level of self-awareness that focuses on your ‘why’ for wanting to do it and also felt the sadness of not doing it, you will have a more compelling reason to succeed.
Then cement these goals via action steps into your diary in a compelling way. For example, instead of putting ‘6.30am – 7.00am Exercise’ put ‘6.30am – 7.00am Getting my health back or getting beach ready’. Whatever the reason is, make a note of it.
The why is your carrot or move-towards action.
You may also need to break old patterns or bad habits and move-away from them. As over 40% of our daily actions are habitual this is an important step. While we regard people with good habits and successful lives as being highly self-controlled, research in this area indicates what they are really good at is understanding how situations influence our actions. They create the right environment for desirable repeated actions. In other words, they set themselves up for success and make their goals manageable. That is step No.3.
Rather like someone wanting to succeed at Dry January, they replace the habit of a glass of wine each evening with something else. This could be a substitute for the wine that keeps the ritual of pouring it out. So, they select their favourite wine glass, put some olives in a dish and then pour a chilled glass of Kombucha instead. They also, for a while, avoid the pub or environments where their early resolve will be tested. All of these actions will enable you to persevere and succeed at your goals.
As will breaking down large goals into smaller, manageable parts.
Look at the overriding goal. It can be represented as an umbrella that I find very useful as I’m very visual. You draw the overriding goal as the canopy of the umbrella and then put all the spokes below it down to the handle. Then you assign all the smaller tasks to each spoke.
Next comes a time plan. When do things need to happen? Are there things that can wait until next week, or next month? Take those off and add them as a diary entry. Are there things on your list that other people can do, or that don’t need doing? Then either assign them to others or strike them off.
Now take immediate action. What can you do today to move you towards that goal?
The important and disruptive pattern to be aware of here is the When/Then conditioning you will have grown up with. You know the drill, “When you have tidied your bedroom THEN you can watch cartoons on TV”. The problem is that you have been when-thenning yourself ever since. “When I lose that weight, THEN I will start dating again” or “When I’ve got the essential tasks out of the way THEN I will start that amazing project”. You can fill in your own blanks here. Better still, you can break the pattern by deciding you are enough now and that you can take small steps and enjoy immediate rewards or happiness today. Not waiting until when it is all perfect as those ducks never do get quite in line do they? By doing this you will create the 4th step: Morale-boosting goals.
Finally, get started as the journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step. By shifting the needle of your achievement by only 1% a day you will improve by a compound 3,778 % in a year! Little and often. Repeat: ‘little and often is key’.
I’d love to know what resonates most with you? Do drop me a line at hello@rosalynpalmer.com
If you are hungry for more advice then do join me and three other award-winning coaches on 27 January for our exclusive ‘Beyond Goal-setting’ workshop. Information here:
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Rosalyn Palmer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Rosalyn Palmer is an award-winning transformational coach and therapist and one of the Brainz 500 Global 2021 list of Companies, Entrepreneurs, Influential leaders and Small business owners recognized for their entrepreneurial success, achievements or dedication to help others. Her work combines advanced rapid transformational therapy with clinical hypnotherapy & NLP-based coaching to create deep desired changes. She works 1-2-1 with clients and via her group courses including the 13-week The Realigned Leader and The Realigned Life transformations. As best-selling author of the award-winning self-help book: ‘Reset! A Blueprint for a Better Life’ and three other Amazon bestsellers, Rosalyn makes emotional wellbeing accessible to all. She enables high performers to live their best lives that feel as good inside as they look on the super-successful outside. Rosalyn draws on extensive business experiences - in top London PR & Marcomms (‘retiring’ as a self-made millionaire at age 40 after a stellar career helping clients including Tony Robbins and Edward de Bono) and the insight of being conflicted when the outward vision of your life doesn’t serve you. Added to this are her deeper values and life experiences born from many challenges including cancer; redundancy; bereavement; menopause; divorce; financial loss that broke her open to finding out what really matters in life and how to live a life of balance and joy. As a natural communicator, she is the well-being expert for radio show Girls Around Town, has a monthly newspaper column, and two podcast series: Monkey Business and Life Alchemy.
