How To Talk Yourself Out Of Imposter Syndrome
Written by: Jane Christine, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough in your business? That others might uncover you’re a fraud? You think your success is through luck? You are not alone!
Having imposter feelings doesn’t automatically mean that you have Imposter Syndrome. Did you know that over 70% of adults will experience imposter feelings at one point in their life? So, understanding that having these feelings is relatively common can often lessen the blow that there is something wrong with us. Studies have also shown that Imposter Syndrome can disproportionately affect high-achieving people. So why is that?
“Perfectionism has a link to Imposter Syndrome.”
High-achieving people have high standards for themselves that even they cannot meet. This has a direct link to perfectionism. The notion that everything must be perfect, and if it’s only 99% correct, perfectionists will solely focus on that 1% incorrect. Therefore, only ever seeing the missing portion.
I am a recovering perfectionist myself, and through my research as a Mindset Coach and NLP Master Practitioner, I discovered why people experiencing Imposter Syndrome often second guess themselves, and this leads to feeling overwhelmed, which is followed by procrastination and then freezing when they are trying to reach that next level in their business. They have gotten stuck in the “Perfectionism, Procrastination, Paralysis Cycle.”
Want the good news? There is a way you can break this cycle, challenge your imposter feelings, reframe your mindset and build rapport with your Inner Critic. You can talk your way out of Imposter Syndrome!
Challenge Your Imposter Feelings
Your imposter feelings are basing their evidence on something you have experienced in the past. Remember, our minds are only a database filled with stories we tell ourselves founded from our past experiences. So, challenging these stories with factual evidence, not only opinions, we have created. Thoughts are not facts! Start by writing two columns – “I can’t” and “I can.” You will then fill up these headings with reasons why you can’t do the task you believe you aren’t good enough for and the reasons you have been able to complete similar tasks in the past. See if you can challenge your “I can’t” column by finding real evidence, not only bias opinions.
Build Rapport With Your Inner Critic
The voices you hear saying that “you are not good enough, you are a fraud, you aren’t qualified to do this, you will get found out.” This negative self-talk is coming from your active Inner Critic. I like to think of your Inner Critic as a wise old friend that has tried to give you sound advice for years that you have just ignored. No wonder it is angry with you. Think about a time you gave your friend advice, and they didn’t take on board, then they came back to complain about the same thing. Did you respond nicely the next time you gave advice? I am assuming not. So, it makes sense why your Inner Critic is loud, authoritarian, and mean. Of course, knowing this now doesn’t take away the awful feeling you get from hearing this consistently.
Next time you hear your Inner Critic, I want you to repeat what it says to you in a question form and add the word “and?”. You are now acknowledging your Inner Critic. Listen for the response and keep asking it “and?”. Notice if it becomes quieter, nicer, or doesn’t respond. You are now building rapport with your Inner Critic and opening communication for the first time. Relish in the inner peace when you don’t hear the negative self-talk.
Reframe Your Mindset
Now that you have found inner peace, there is space to start reframing your mindset. The saturation of negative self-talk does not consume you. You can breathe in the calmness. Start by celebrating the small wins – write down 3 small wins each week. Focus on all the good that you have achieved and not only the things you still need to do. Have a positive approach to your business tasks and writing a list of “Things Accomplished” instead of a list of things to do. Find your “good enough” standard so you can feel satisfied and not needing everything to be 100%. Small changes create big momentum. However, the biggest gift you can give yourself is to be kind and compassionate and use positive intentions to lead the change.
You have the skills and have already accomplished so many wonderful things in your life. It has not been for luck. Luck is only the meeting of good preparation and divine timing. You are competent, and the fact you want to out talk your Imposter Syndrome indicates you are halfway there by reading this article.
Even masters haven’t truly mastered their zone of genius. We are all in a permanent state of learning, and that is a gift. Be curious, learn about mindset, research techniques and see if they are a good fit for you, and most importantly, get support. Who you surround yourself with has a direct impact on your life. If you want to invest in yourself, work with a mindset coach who will take you through step-by-step to overcome your Imposter Syndrome.
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Jane Christine, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jane Christine is a certified Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, and author. Originally from Australia working in the corporate world until she questioned her life's purpose. Jane believed there had to be more to life, so she sold everything she owned and set off for a nomadic lifestyle traveling around the world searching for answers and a place to call home, which she finally found in Spain. Her search and transformation took her to over 37 countries. Life experiences and her own personal growth guided her to become a certified Life Coach. Her travels inspired her quest to learn about the world around us and why we do what we do. Since 2012, Jane Christine has been studying how our pasts shape us, the effects of societal standards, and the impact of values. With Neuro-Linguistics Programming techniques and through the power of transformation, learn how to; bridge the gap, define self-worth, set tangible goals, find comfort through change, and how 1% micro-changes can alter lives. Jane Christine is the author of "How You Know Already: Questions to ask yourself to find the answers within," as she believes we are all unique, and so are each of our paths to follow. She is dedicated to her clients and supporting their growth and journey. Her motto: Design your life, don't just live it!
