How My ‘Pain’ Lead Me To My ‘Purpose And Creativity’?
- Apr 28, 2022
- 4 min read
Written by: Shreesha Khare, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
First essence of pain
In 1991, my mother's womb pain was unbearable. The season she conceived of me was full of darkness, uncertainty, mood swings, frustration, and confusion. However, the journey of 9 months of pain was worth it as she was going through the journey of love without seeing the baby. She was going through another evolution with the evolution of me inside her. Her pain holds purpose, as through her I was born on this planet, and when she saw me – It was all worth it. This pain shows that a woman is strong and holds the creativity to give birth to another human. Imagine what else we can do if we channel our pain in the right direction.
Pain as Portal to Purpose and Creativity
The pain doesn’t end there, but it starts more and more. It became part and parcel of my existence. I cried when I came out of the darkness of the womb, as light was new to me. However, slowly and steadily, light became my friend, and I forgot about the darkness, only to realise later in life that darkness and light go hand in hand. I remember when I first started learning to cycle. It was painful. I fell many times, but that hard time in learning to cycle made me fall in love with the values it brings, which are freedom, openness, thrill, and safety. If I had never understood the pain, I would never have learnt how much I love cycling. This journey led me to know my purpose in terms of the things I love to do for my relaxation. No matter how many times I fall, it pushes me to do something better with my journey of cycling.
Burning midnight oil in those tender years, the smell of chemistry lab experiments when I was in my 10th standard, and those early morning mathematics classes kept me awake till my 26th year of life. Tears used to roll down my eyes when people humiliated me in school. Loving someone deeply became my life's biggest frustration. Fighting with myself became the norm as days and nights went into the vicious cycle of – Where am I going wrong? I did not want to study computer science but went through the pain of learning as it served the purpose of realising what I love the most. At the very least, what I desired was nowhere to be found, and the day came when I asked myself, If not this, then what? And while I was experiencing silent pain for the second time, I was also given a second chance to do something I enjoyed.
In 2019, I found myself on the verge of losing everything personally and professionally. My nervous system went through the pain of repeating patterns, loss, grief, bullying, stress, and burnout from the tradition-work-eat life cycle. Asking questions: Why is it happening to me? Constantly was not making any difference – as pain is inevitable, but this increased my suffering from the inside as I chose to be a part of the suffering. With a twist of a question, wisdom knocked on my door: What had every pain I'd been through taught me? It taught me to go deep within and understand the root cause and set some boundaries with myself and with my environment.
Every pain in life served me to become my better version. It made me realize the habits and behaviours carried within me were not suitable for the environment. It taught me what I could do in life. It was simply like the Mario video game where Mario goes through some pains at each level of the competition, and in between, it also increases their power to handle the tasks he faces.
I will be a coward if I cry about my pain. I must take my pain as an inspiration and courageously convert it into learning for myself and helping others. Pain is a pathway to creativity. My heart broke when the person I loved rejected me. I had two choices at that time – cry, blame him or convert this broken piece into art. Furthermore, I channelled my pain into my songwriting, poem writing, and book writing so that I could inspire and awaken people from their pain. My pain brought me closer to my purpose.
Shreesha Khare, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Shreesha Khare is an author and an inspirational thought leader, aka a leading luminary. She is walking on the path of "Self-Illumination" to be more of her true self, share more of her personal experiences, and change the lives of others through her own journey of personal transformation. There is a deep internal desire in her to take all of what she has learned and help others along their path. She believes that suffering is the key to unlocking our greatest gifts. She is the Founder and Chief humanitarian Being at S&S Co-Space for Humanity, a boutique where you will be served with coaching and guidance of self-love and self-actualization, is like taking a journey into the inner cosmic world.
