Updated: Jan 27
Eva Medilek is a Certified High-Performance Coach and a Relationship Success Coach. She has coached both men and women in the areas of personal development, leadership and mastering habits for success. She specializes in helping powerful, successful women have happier, healthier, more intimate connections in their relationships without giving up their power. Read the full interview below!
– I'm Eva Medilek and I live in Berkeley, CA with my husband Peter and my rescue dog, Lexi. I have two grown daughters and I enjoy the experiences of traveling and learning about other cultures. My husband and I enjoy culinary and wine experiences, along with golfing and hiking together.
– I have spent most of my life as a successful, practicing dental hygienist in New York and San Francisco. As I was approaching my 50th birthday, I was downsized and found myself looking for work. That experience sparked my entrepreneurial journey as a real estate investor. As fruitful as that decision turned out to be, my drive and ambition to be successful, contributing to the near destruction of my marriage.
– Although I had begun my life coaching and real estate coaching business as a result of my investing success, my marriage breakdown was the catalyst for my coaching business today.
You're a High-Performance Coach and a Relationship Success Coach. I'm a little curious. What exactly is a High-Performance Coach?
– High-Performance Coaching is a process created to reach that next level of performance, practice, and potential in your life while maintaining your health, well-being and relationships. As your coach, I work with you in mastery of the five areas of High Performance, which are Clarity, Energy, Courage, Productivity and Influence.
The Relationship Success Coach is easier to understand. You've made an interesting journey together with your husband. But first things first. When building your business, how come you were so focused on your business, because I understand it affected your marriage?
– There were many reasons that I was so focused on my business. The main one being the dream and vision that we had for our life together. You see, my husband is from Germany and his entire family still lives there. We were also married in Berlin and love that city. Since we both love to travel, we wanted to establish a home base in Berlin to make it easier to see family and to travel throughout Europe.
– My husband was always a freelancer. I was always an employee in the United States. How could I do this and have the income needed, when most employers only allow two weeks vacation? I couldn't live my dream and continue to be an employee and keep my job. I had to figure this out. And, since I had just turned 50, and we were only married for one year at that point, I had an urgency that I didn't want to be too old to live my dream and enjoy summers in Europe.
– Between the impatience and the urgency to start living the dream, coupled with the fact that I did not enjoy being under the thumb of an employer, created the motivation and focus to succeed. My parents were also aging, and as an only child, I needed the freedom and the resources to be able to help them when they needed me.
– I should also note that my husband was less than thrilled at the monetary investment I made in my education, coaches and mentors for real estate. I also had to prove that I could create a significant return on that investment.
"I also realized that I shared responsibility for this self-sabotaging behavior."
At one point, he cheated on you. Was it hard to forgive him, or could you see things from a new perspective?
– Here's the thing about his infidelity, it was a symptom of something deeper.
– The amount of stress, overwhelm, burnout and general exhaustion that I was feeling while working my day job, studying investing, cooking, shopping, laundry, business accounting and feeling like I was doing it all, was taking a toll on my health, well-being and most of all, our relationship.
– When I finally discovered his cheating, it was after we tried months of therapy that didn't really help. I knew, at this core, that my husband was a good and decent human. I also realized that I shared responsibility for this self-sabotaging behavior.
– There are many symptoms of pain and anxiety that can manifest. Drugs and alcohol abuse are the most commonly talked about and treated. I knew that I was not showing up as my best self in the marriage and neither was he. We had a choice to break-up or breakthrough this breakdown. We chose to do the work to create a breakthrough to a new relationship with each other. We were both hurting and had compassion and understanding for each other's pain. That