Written by: Tatiane Garcia, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I have wholeheartedly embraced my story with grace. It is the very essence of what made me, me. For quite some time, I have contemplated sharing my life story with others. It may seem cliché, considering that many individuals have done so through podcasts, blogs, books, and TedTalks. But what if my life story contains valuable insights that can motivate or even bring awareness to people in overcoming their challenges? That would truly be something remarkable, wouldn't it?
I will embark on a storytelling journey, starting from the most recent events and gradually moving backward.
Some time ago, I invested over one thousand euros in a therapist to help me identify my struggles. Feeling the need for professional guidance, I sought out a specialist in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), believing that I had some sort of social anxiety disorder. Sadly, the experience turned out to be a complete disaster. The therapist hardly asked me any questions apart from the usual "how are you feeling today?" In fact, I once caught her yawning and checking the time on her phone. That's when I finally worked up the courage to ask her, "Do you think CBT is right for me?" She forced a smile and said, "I believe you are an introverted extrovert." Oddly enough, it made sense to me. Every day, I played a character that drained my energy to be liked. With what little energy I had left, I isolated myself from people to recharge. I moved on from CBT therapy, realising that the truth is “I kind of always go with the flow" to keep the body and soul together. What I wasn't doing, in reality, was engaging my mind and taking action!
For four decades, I have lived my life in this manner, pushing myself relentlessly to accomplish tasks and make ends meet. I consider myself a survivor. Every achievement I accomplish feels like a delightful surprise to me, even though I have put in the hard work to attain it. I often learn that I inspire and empower those around me, or at least it seems that way. However, I frequently experience a nagging feeling of being a fraud, questioning my own abilities. Here is another self-diagnosis: I suffer from Impostor Syndrome.
Interestingly, according to various sources, seven out of ten people experience Impostor Syndrome, and an overwhelming majority of six out of seven individuals experiencing this phenomenon are women. Naturally, I have adopted the "fake it until you become it" approach to overcome challenges and achieve my daily success. I sought the guidance of a therapist to help me understand myself better. Although I eventually discontinued therapy for a while, I was fortunate to find an incredible Coach who helped me explore my values and build self-respect. The coaching came at a crucial time, as the COVID-19 pandemic struck shortly afterward. I found myself facing multiple hardships, including a breakup, family struggles, and challenges with home mates. Once again, I had to activate my survival mode.
I come from a family of four daughters, characterised by deep dysfunction. My late father, unfortunately, struggled with alcohol abuse and aggressive behaviour. My mother, who herself had a challenging upbringing having been raised in an orphanage, faced additional complexities due to her marriage to my father. It's been quite a journey, but I've managed to cultivate substantial resilience. It's worth noting that they did the best with what they had to give. Throughout my life, I've encountered numerous chances to either crumble or flourish. From enduring bullying, navigating a challenging upbringing, grappling with emotional aftermaths, facing harassment, to even enduring burnouts. Today, I am grateful that I can openly discuss these experiences. I've made the deliberate choice to embrace growth!
My journey began in Brazil, where at the tender age of 13, I embarked on my very first job as a door-to-door sales representative. I was selling socks, and I can proudly say that I excelled in this role! At 18, I ventured into entrepreneurship, opening my own clothing shop. However, within six months, I found myself in financial distress. It was an ambitious and humbling experience that underscored how much I had yet to learn about business. The spectre of death has brushed against my life on three separate occasions, each one etched into my memory with vivid intensity.
I also grapple with hyperhidrosis, a common medical condition that causes excessive sweating in specific areas, like the palms of my hands. My path took a profound turn when I experienced a burnout that compelled me to journey across the ocean and embark on a fresh start in life. It was during this period, in my mid-30s, that I learned English. Above all, connecting with others has been essential to my success in life. These interactions have allowed me to develop essential social and soft skills, which have propelled me to where I stand today.
A healthy mindset and the willingness to embrace your life story are two of the most important qualities you can have.
Here are some of the top lessons I've learned about myself. When I engage my mind in action, regardless of where I am in my journey, strengths and possibilities are unleashed. I hope you find them relatable.
1. First and foremost, understand yourself. Know what truly matters to you. Determine the person you aspire to become. Define the kind of relationships you wish to cultivate in your life. Identify your values and recognize the worth of your time. Be aware that the environments you desire to be in may not always be your safe haven. Grasp the significance of your decisions.
2. Acknowledge the impact your words have on your life. Realise that your thoughts shape who you are. Embrace the fact that a diverse vocabulary allows you to express your true self. Procrastination may serve as an excuse, but it can also be an opportunity to seek clarity. Education grants you freedom.
3. Acknowledge your emotions. Vulnerability is not your weakness; rather, it is a strength. Acknowledge and appreciate those who have been there to support and serve you. Learn how to serve others, even when you feel you have nothing tangible to offer except kindness.
4. Approach each day with your best intentions. Do not overly concern yourself with tomorrow. You are never obligated to remain the same person you were yesterday. You can be better!
5. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from challenges, while growth is the process of becoming the best version of ourselves. This soft skill allows us to learn from our mistakes and setbacks, and we are better able to achieve our goals.
Remember, the moment you cease learning, creating, serving, appreciating, and progressing, you lose the essence of being an empowered spirit on a human journey.
So, tell me this… What makes you, you?
Tatiane Garcia, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tatiane is a Certified Personal, Leadership, and Executive Coach with a wealth of experience spanning two continents. With over two decades of invaluable career insights in business management, she has seamlessly transitioned into a trusted Coach and Mentor. She is a visionary in personal development and the cultivation of meaningful relationships. Tatiane is unwaveringly committed to assisting individuals in broadening their perspectives, leading them to lives characterized by strength and limitless possibilities. Her journey of continuous personal growth has inspired others to embrace their unique experiences, cultivating essential soft skills and self-leadership.
