Written by: Jamie Dooley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How many women do you know that are educated, self-directed, and passionate, yet stuck working a job versus living their purpose? Lots right? I’m still there in some capacities. We’ve come a long way, but the “Mental Load” still distracts millions of women from doing what they are called to do at a heart level.
We live in a time where we can truly have it all; we can embody our healthiest, wealthiest, sexiest selves. We can have our dream marriages and relationships. We can start new businesses and careers overnight from our kitchen table after watching YouTube videos. So what stops us from reaching for that next level? I’ve identified seven blocks that need to be removed each and every time you want to expand into a higher version of yourself. We are energy, so all change happens at the energetic (quantum) level first. “New level, new devil.”
1. Thinking about the past
Getting past your past is by far the hardest step of all. Each hurt we experience is like a thorn that gets lodged in our skin. Some are small and shallow and fall out over time. Others are big and get lodged so deep we can’t see them anymore, but darn does it ever hurt when someone touches it. When you feel triggered, it’s a sign that there is a thorn buried deep. If you notice you feel triggered about the same things from different people, it’s time to look at where that thorn came from.
It’s so much easier to heal pain than it is to manage it. Stop protecting that thorn and just remove it. Stop replaying past events, holding grudges, trying to control things, and worrying about what people are saying. Stop comparing yourself to others. Forgive anyone whoever hurt you, including and most importantly yourself. Write everything you are ready to let go of, and burn it, each and every time you are ready to expand. Once you free up that old energy, you will be better equipped to create something new.
2. Living reactively
Just because you let go of your past doesn’t mean you won’t react the same as you did then. Before you can become this new version of yourself, you have to un-become the old you. It’s a process, so be kind to yourself. Just notice unconscious patterns at play that are not in alignment with who you want to be. Allow yourself to begin to dream again. When you do, your vibration will rise, and you will become more and more proactive.
3. Blaming or judging others
It’s been said that when you point the finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you. This could not be more true! The people in our lives are mirrors for what needs to be cleaned up in our own vibration. We can’t change other people, but we sure can change ourselves. Every moment spent talking about someone else is a wasted opportunity to improve yourself. We see others based on our current vibration, not based on how they are. Be quick to forgive and forget. Nothing is more important than how you feel, and being upset with someone keeps your vibes low. Let it go.
4. Outdated beliefs
Take apart those two voices in your head. The one that is full of fear and doubt is your lower self, and the one that believes you are capable of literally anything is your higher self. Allow your higher self to question your lower self about your beliefs. Who did you learn that from? Does that serve you today?
I once thought $22 an hour would make me set for life! Moving my money mindset from hourly to value-based income is one of the best and biggest shifts I’ve made.
Beliefs are just thoughts you keep thinking. Draw a line down a piece of paper. On the left side, write the negative stuff, and then on the right side, use what I call The Reverse Principle to flip it and write the opposite of it. Make those your new mantras. It’s like a software upgrade that is confusing at first because it’s new, but after a few tries, muscle memory takes over, and you don’t even remember the old version.
After coaching hundreds of women, I know one thing for sure—the number of dreams that have died due to mistakes pale in comparison to those that have died due to indecision. Inaction is the only true failure.
The perfectionism/procrastination loop has a good intention for you. It’s trying to protect you from falling, but the only true failure is not trying. Since every cell of your body will be resisting the new beliefs you are creating (called cognitive dissonance), I suggest my clients break it down into micro-steps to trick the subconscious mind. Don’t think of these micro-actions as leading to the rest of your life, but as leading you to the next step. Those stuck in the self-sabotage loop are too far ahead of themselves, trying to imagine all possible options to prevent failure. You gain clarity through action, not thinking, so you only fail if you stop moving forward. Just take baby steps, and hire a coach if you get stuck.
6. Looking for outside validation
Since women are such nurturing souls who give validation well, we tend to look for love, appreciation, and approval outside of ourselves. As a Manifestation Coach, I guide women within, often for the very first time, to feel the peace, joy, and love that live deep within your soul and are always available to you, at any moment, for free. You cannot buy these emotions or get them from others. Most busy professional women don’t take the time to go within. They are too busy chasing their ideal careers, relationships, and social media status. Can you relate?
If you sat still long enough (without distractions), you would realize what you really want is buried within. With practice, you can let that love fill you up and pour out into your world. All of a sudden, action in alignment with your ideal becomes easy, and everything in your life improves because it’s all about perspective.
Making things happen is a very masculine energy. Women birth things...they come through us in the form of love. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how much do you love yourself? To reach the next level, it needs to be a 10. Make sure your biggest enemy doesn’t live between your ears. Mute your lower self and allow your higher self to emerge and pour love out into the world. Fall in love with yourself first, then share your light.
7. Not taking inspired action
You know those moments when you appreciate something you manifested already, like a new home or a puppy? And out of nowhere, an idea shows up that makes you really excited? That is your BIG moment to rise up to the next level. What you do over the next 24 hours determines whether you allow cognitive dissonance to keep you in the old loop or whether you break free from who you were to become the next you. Expansion is a normal part of life! The successful women I know all got comfortable being uncomfortable. Can you say that yet?
There is something so uniquely special about you that only you can offer it to the world in the exact way you do. Whatever you went to school for, there were far fewer choices at the time. The world has shifted dramatically since then and will continue to. Start that online business, write that book, create that course. It’s never been easier to share with people anywhere in the world. If you wait until you feel ready, you will never begin.
If you’re not in love with your current life, it’s time to shift to something new and purpose-driven. Take micro action by just writing down what you want. Get it out of you so that it begins to feel real. And YES, you can make money sharing your gifts from the comfort of your couch rocking your favorite worn-out Lululemons. The internet is full of women leaving corporate jobs for the status of the CEO of their dreams. The only thing in your way is your beliefs.
If you’d like to peer deeper into your heart and see what is buried there, I’d love to guide you! Let’s accelerate your results like hundreds of my past clients have. NOW is the time!
Jamie Dooley, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jamie Dooley is a highly intuitive, heart-based life and business coach, who teaches the art of expansion through energy healing and writing. She is the CEO of The Expansion Group, a collaborative for female dreamers, doers, bosses, and entrepreneurs. Jamie is also the author of Self-Coaching Mastery, and a manifesto expert who teaches women how to embody their sexiest, healthiest, wealthiest selves and have fun in the process.