Written by: Gail Kauranen Jones, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When life is going smoothly and you are in the flow, it is far easier to have a greater sense of your innate worthiness.
Yet, during the tender times when things are not working out as you hoped, you may doubt your worth. Feeling stressed, stuck or challenged, you may start spiraling down into negative self-talk—spending too much time focusing on your less-than perfect circumstances versus the essence of who you are.
Stop, and remember the qualities that make you unique, whether it’s your creativity, kindness, sense of humor, sensitivity, intellectual curiosity or some other attribute.
I share more of becoming empowered in this deeply personal story of claiming my own worthiness to LIVE, following a breast cancer diagnosis, in this recent podcast.
With May being mental health awareness month, it is an excellent time to commit to a daily practice of claiming (or reclaiming) YOUR worthiness.
Here are six tips for finding your worthiness:
WORTHINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB
“Worthiness is not based on external circumstances. Nothing outside of you can give you the worthiness you must find within. Worthiness isn’t about what you have; it’s about WHO you are.” ‒ Gail Kauranen Jones
1. TREAT YOURSELF WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION, NOT JUDGMENT. Realize you did NOTHING wrong for not feeling worthy. You just did not get the proper nurturance that instilled the core belief of worthiness during the first critical seven years of life, or were later tossed a curveball (like a health scare, divorce, or job loss, for example) that threw you off-center.
2. ASK YOURSELF: “What would your life look like if you knew you were worthy?” Create a vision board of some of the ways life will manifest when you know you are worthy.
3. IT TAKES VIGILANCE, and time spent daily of repeating this statement: “I allow myself to know I am worthy.” It is best to repeat the mantra the first five minutes in the morning and last five minutes before going to bed at night—and a few times during the day.
4. EMBRACE PATIENCE AND COMMITMENT: You must continually monitor your inner chatter and repeat the above statement for a minimum of 63 days, as some neuroscientists believe that is the length of time it takes to change a belief (and I think it can take longer or shorter depending on your age and life circumstances).
5. GIVE YOURSELF AT LEAST 20 minutes a day of “me,” time, which teaches your brain that you are worthy of being a priority. That time can be spent meditating, enjoying an Epson salt bath, or lighting a candle and playing soft music. The key is focusing this alone time on “being,” not doing. The brain also needs space, times of not being task-driven, to take in new possibilities.
6. JOT DOWN EVIDENCE of worthiness showing up in your life. The physical act of writing down the evidence trains the brain to look for more. Examples: Look for upgrades in your life—Are you dating higher quality people? Working in a job where you are valued? Having more balance between work and play in your life to feel fulfilled and grounded?
As you continue to claim your value, choose to become increasingly aware of ways you act unworthy, such as:
You settle for less than you deserve.
You are afraid to say “No” and therefore often give others priority over your time.
You focus more on what others think of you than what you think of yourself.
You expect to be disappointed rather than pleased.
You are not paid your worth and do not ask for proper compensation.
You do allow yourself to receive.
You over-give and attract takers.
You stay small versus risking expressing your greatness. (You’re afraid to stand out.)
As you notice these unworthy behaviors, be kind to yourself. These ways of thinking or acting were often conditioned in before you had the discernment skills to know you deserved more.
The more aware you become, the more able you will be to make empowering choices going forward.
Remember, it takes time. If you are 40, 50 or 60 years old, for example, it is unlikely you will instantly gain a renewed sense of worthiness based on one action or thought after decades of feeling otherwise.
We are all works in progress, who thrive best when we focus on excellence, not perfection.
Celebrate each step forward in claiming your worthiness.
To learn more: Follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Twitter, or visit the home page of my website to listen to my free guided meditation on worthiness. I also offer a complimentary, 30-minute consult to explore guiding you forward to living your best life.
Gail Kauranen Jones, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Gail Kauranen Jones (known as “Coach Gail Jones”) is an intuitive coach, gifted wordsmith and inspiring teacher who has been leading clients through transformation for more than twenty years.
She is the author of two books, "Cancer as a Love Story: Developing the Mindset for Living," and "To Hell and Back… Healing Your Way through Transition."
Passionate to get to the root causes of blocks that hold clients back and then help them create empowering new beliefs to move forward, Gail delved deep after going through her own journey of healing from breast cancer. She learned some profound ways to optimize health and well-being including claiming one’s worthiness to live and thrive.
Gail trained with world-renowned neuroscientists in guiding clients to rewire the brain for new levels of personal and professional success.
She has appeared as a guest “worthiness coach” nationally in the US on CBS TV’s Emmy award-winning talk show The Doctors and on Sirius XM Radio.
She also was hired to train several hundred HeartMath coaches globally on her worthiness platform, with her signature presentation, “The journey to the heart of worthiness.”
She is the host of her own podcast, “Claim Your Worthiness: Intimate Conversations with Gail Jones,” which features national thought leaders and handpicked experts and others who have transformed their lives to serve.