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4 Simple Questions You Can Ask Yourself To Know What You Really, Really Want

Written by: Asim Aliloski, Executive Contributor

Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.


Let me reveal to you the most important question I usually ask a coaching client:

What do you want? What do you really want? What do you really, really want?

I know these questions sound so simple. But you would be surprised about how many people don’t know the answer.

They simply don’t have a clue.

Photo Credit: DOUBLE K – Kapturing_photography

Or they will give you half the answer. Or they will give you at least a list of what they don’t want (which is sometimes better than nothing).

Even people who are on top of the game sometimes don’t know what they really, really want.

And there is nothing wrong about it. It can be fine from time to time to play with the unknown.

However, I have found out as a coach that people develop greater confidence and inner strength when they gain clarity.

People love to enter clear coordinates into their inner GPS system. It gives them direction and focus.

If you want to go to a specific restaurant, it makes sense to know the exact address not just the type of food you like.

In fact, if you don’t know what you really, really want and WHY you want it, the following questions will help you to find out what it is.

Let’s take an example: Imagine not feeling comfortable where you live right know and you don’t know if you should move somewhere else or even where you should move to.

These simple questions will help you to dive in deeper and they work with any other example:

1. How do I want to FEEL?

I have noticed that people don’t know what they want. But they may better know how they want to feel. Ask yourself how you want to feel. Your feelings will feed your inner GPS and guide you to your destination. Once you know how you want to feel, chances are higher that you will get a clear picture of WHAT you really, really want. Feel these emotions daily to stay on track.

In our example of a home, you might want a home in which you feel safe, inspired, nurtured and supported … simply feeling “home”. Focus on the feelings; they will guide you to the right spot.

2. What does my HEART want?

I have found out that people get better answers when they stop asking “What do I want?” but instead start asking “What does my heart or my soul want?” Because your heart sometimes knows more than your mind. Hearts are pure and unconditioned. They are connected to a higher wisdom and intelligence. You can be surprised about messages coming from your heart. Your job is to follow the voice of your heart and act on it even if it sounds irresponsible, irrational or illogical.

In our example, your heart might beat faster if you live close to the sea or in the forest, or in the centre of a big city. Where does your heart bring you on holiday? Which area lightens up your soul? Follow these hints to know more about what you really, really want.

3. What DON’T I want?

For some people, it’s easier to start with making a list of what they don’t want instead of focusing immediately on what they want. If you are a mismatcher, this is the way to go for! Make a list of what you don’t want. Then the next step is very easy. You take this list of your “Don’ts” and define the exact opposite. In this case, you will get super clear about what you really, really want.

In our example, you probably know how you don’t want to live: close to a street, with loud neighbours, a “cold” interior, far from the shops, close to a farm … This is great to know! Because now you know that your new place has to be calm, clean, warm and beautiful. You can go even deeper with this and explore what a beautiful place looks like for you (by starting with the negation first).

4. What does the UNIVERSE want from me?

As a spiritual being you know that your existence on earth is not a coincidence but for a deeper reason. There is a divine plan for you that wants to be unfolded. This means that you don’t necessarily need to focus on what YOU want but instead what the universe wants FROM YOU (knowing that the universe always wants the highest and best for you). Your job is to direct your questions to greater intelligence and get receptive to hear the answers.

Go in and ask the universe, a higher intelligence, for answers and signs. You will be surprised what signs may come to you out of nothing telling you exactly what your soul really, really wants as a part of your divine plan.

In our example, direct your questions to the universe and ask again and again: “What is the perfect place for me to live?” or “Show me the perfect place for me to go next”. Don’t be surprised then if you see information for a visa application from a country where you always felt home if you remember back. The ways of how signs can reach you are limitless. They may come sooner or later. Trust the divine timing.

One very important note: Sometimes people are not ready to find out what they really, really want because they are used to play small in life. Subconsciously they think that it’s bad to have big dreams.

But there is something, I want you to keep in mind: You are meant for a great life.


Namasté, Asim

Some links & recommendations:

Here is what you can do that can help you to unleash your divine nature:

Get here your free audio activation to awaken your divine greatness:

For more about our immersion coachings, check this out:

Get access to my private Facebook group LINK for all wonderful entrepreneurs and leaders:

All German-speaking souls, reach me here:

Follow Asim on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or visit his website for more info!


Asim Aliloski, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine

Asim Aliloski is an Austrian bestselling author, transformational speaker, spiritual leader and award-winning business and life coach. Asim has been listed amongst the 101 Most Fabulous Coaches in the World 2020, Top 20 Business Coaches 2021, Top 50 Influential Leaders by Kosmo Magazine, and he is a proud winner of the European Enterprise Awards 2020.

His mission is to share spiritual wisdom that uplifts the energy and consciousness of people and businesses. Asim has been working with heart-driven leaders, entrepreneurs, celebrities and creatives helping them to awaken their divine greatness and make their life purpose a success. Through this work, people unleash their intuitive and spiritual intelligence in order to create personal fulfillment, optimum health and ultimate abundance alongside a high-end wealthy lifestyle.

Asim, CEO of Asim Aliloski International, founded his coaching and consulting business at the age of 25 and has been exploring the power of consciousness for several decades. The native Viennese with Greek-Macedonian origins combines in his work elements from ancient Greek philosophy with universal spirituality rooted in Sufism and Buddhism along with transformative coaching. Coming from a underprivileged family living on welfare, he mastered to become one of the most recognised spiritual coaches and leaders in the world.



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