Courtney Hamlin, M.A. LMFT, is an experienced psychotherapist in the Los Angeles area. Courtney is the founder of Courtney Hamlin Counseling, Inc., a psychotherapy practice providing in-person and online psychotherapy, counseling and coaching to teens, young adults, adults, and couples across the state of California.
Do you ever feel like you are walking around carrying the weight of the world with you? At the end of the day, do you find that the only way to release your body’s tension is with a large glass of wine? All of us carry trauma in our body, at any moment, that may reopen and become a blistering wound, depending on the day’s interactions.
Trauma is the emotional response we may have to a triggering event, and it does not just go away. It lives deep within us. We have existing wounds that are often reopened due to interactions with someone we love, or a boss at work. When we have a history of childhood trauma, or any type of trauma (whether little or big), we are more likely to turn to alcohol to recuperate from a stressful day at work, or to numb our feelings. Don’t worry, there is hope. In this article, you will find four easy steps to help you understand your body’s response to trauma, and how you can begin to heal.
But first of all, let’s talk about trauma and some trauma stats
Trauma is the emotional response we have to a triggering event, and it lives within our body. It can be inherited or experienced. It can be one incident, or several small incidents experienced over time. Trauma causes symptoms to show up in masked ways, like body aches, fatigue, bouts of anger, poor concentration, racing heartbeat, or mood swings. Additionally, there is an extremely high correlation between substance abuse and trauma, especially among women. Women are twice as likely as men to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following an acute traumatic experience (10 percent for women, 4 percent for men), as women tend to blame themselves for the trauma they endure. 1 in 5 women report having been sexually assaulted at one point in their lifetime. Alcohol abuse can also cause trauma, and sexual trauma can occur under the influence of alcohol. To cover up any PTSD and trauma symptoms, those who have experienced trauma will continue to use alcohol to numb their feelings and disconnect from themselves. This continues to create feelings of low self-worth, internalized toxic shame, and anger turned inward against oneself.
30-59 percent of women with alcohol use disorders have PTSD, typically from childhood physical or sexual abuse or assault.
So how can we learn to self-regulate and self-soothe if we have suffered from trauma in our past without turning to alcohol daily?
Step 1: Start with your own awareness and emotion regulation
The foundation of all effective treatment of trauma involves some way for people to learn that they can change their nervous system’s response to the triggering interaction or event.
It is important to notice that if you feel upset or out of control of your emotions, you can slow down, and take 60 breaths while focusing on the out breaths. This will calm your brain down, which will then calm your body. Attempting some acupressure points, or going for a walk can also be very calming, due to the bilateral stimulation of the brain. You can change the sensation you feel by moving, breathing, tapping, and touching (or not touching). The issue of self-regulation of our nervous system without alcohol needs to become front and center in the treatment of trauma. This is step number one.
Step 2: Take steps toward self-empowerment through physical movement
The core idea here is, “I am not a victim of what has happened to me.” “I can do things to change my thoughts,” which is very contrary to the medical system where, if you can’t tolerate something, you pop a pill to make it go away. It is more than just learning to tolerate the feeling and sensation, however. It is about knowing that you have more power over your physiological system than you think. So, step number two is the cultivation of taking effective action. Many traumatized people have felt helpless; they’ve been unable to move. They feel paralyzed or frozen. As such, programs with physical impact like martial arts and kickboxing are also very effective treatments. Any activity that requires a range of physical effort where you learn to defend yourself, stand up for yourself, and feel power in your body, works wonders. This reinstates a sense that your body is not a helpless tool of fate.
Step 3: Learn to express your inner experience with better communication
The third thing is learning to “know what you know,” and “feel what you feel.” And that’s where psychotherapy comes in: finding the language for your internal experience. The function of language is to tie us together; the function of language is communication. “Without being able to communicate, you’re locked up inside of yourself.” So, learning to communicate and finding words for your internal states is very helpful in terms of normalizing yourself – accepting and making communication healthy, and integrating yourself into your community. Tell your partner you appreciate them or join a book club.
Step 4: Integrate your senses through rhythm, music, or art
We’re nonverbal communicators, and to some level, we’re always dancing with each other. Our communication is as much through head nodding, smiles, frowns, hugs, and/ or movement. Both children and adults who are victims of physical abuse and neglect lose their interpersonal rhythms. Play the piano, paint, or sing aloud. Re-engage your creative self. Get back in touch with the activities and hobbies you love and enjoy.
These are four ways you can empower yourself. These are four ways to heal. You get to design your story moving forward. Because you are a trauma survivor, you have a greater understanding and depth that will enable you to seek out unique and multifaceted ways to heal. You will get curious beyond reflexively grabbing that glass of wine. You know that your body is screaming for an answer, and it is not through self-destructive behavior or habitual coping mechanisms. So, next time you feel an urge to have a glass of wine after a long day, have celery juice. Or better yet, get yourself to a kickboxing class.
Read more from Courtney Hamlin
Courtney Hamlin, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Courtney Hamlin, M.A. LMFT is a leader in the field of addiction, codependency, and recovery, as well as relationship therapy, teen therapy, family therapy, and attachment psychology. Courtney runs her own private psychotherapy practice located in Hermosa Beach, California. Courtney dedicates her life to holding a safe, nonjudgmental space for her clients, where they can heal, grow, and gain insight into day-to-day unconscious motivations and behaviors.
