Written by: Leesa Watt, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Is it possible that there’s one word that could help our anxiety? Well, it will certainly have a major effect on you, that’s for sure. I’d like to introduce you to the word... NO! We make it so difficult to say such a simple word. Say it with me - no, no, no!
We really need to step up and set some boundaries as these are the gatekeepers to your mental health. Boundaries will allow you to protect yourself. This, in turn, will give people access to your best side and lead you to inner peace. Basically, what I’m saying is live your life for yourself, not for anyone else! We hold so much fear of being judged, rejected, disliked, and this stops you from being your incredible self.
May I point out? Self-worth isn't how much you do for others. You need to feel in control, not trapped, and this leads to an empowered you, free to take control. So challenge yourself and say no!
It appears we have become trapped being agreeable, pleasing everyone to the point where you're stressed or resentful. Hello, it’s time to put YOU first.
Is it that you fear rejection? Are you afraid if you say no - that there will be disappointment, you’ll make people angry, maybe hurt their feelings, or is it that you will appear unkind or rude?? Now, this is a heavy burden to carry!! The urge to say yes comes from a lack of self-confidence and self-value. You are worth it. Stop this yes game!
I’m here to tell you that saying no doesn't make you a bad person. You are not rude, selfish, or unkind. These unhelpful beliefs are making it harder to say that elusive word - no. Where is this coming from? Please ‘Let It Go’!!
I have some helpful tips for you to learn to say NO:
be direct - no, I can't OR no, I don't want to
no now, then resent later
Be polite - thanks for asking but no
don't prolong the response as it just adds stress
You are very capable of making your own choices - you know the difference between right and wrong. So decide yourself, based on your own discretion, to say no. As a child, it was not polite to say no - we hang on to that belief, don’t we?!
It’s time to know your value. AND let me tell you, you are valuable. You get to choose your own opinion about yourself. Don't seek others approval as you will never truly feel free and happy.
Let me ask this - is your opinion of yourself low? May I point out that your problems don't define you, it's totally ok to make mistakes (your human), you're unique, valuable, important.
That willingness to love others - it makes us great. Be Humble, grow as a person as NO ONE in the world can offer what you can.
You are not productive if you have too many commitments, you end up spreading yourself thin, and then nothing gets done. It’s time to:
Value your time - know your commitments and how valuable your time is.
Know your priorities - if you have spare time, is it how you want to spend it?
Know your long-term goals - what do you need to say yes and no to get there?
Don't apologize. It sounds weaker, be firm! You have nothing to feel bad about and every right to allow enough time for what is truly important to you.
Stop being nice if it hurts you. When it's easy to grab your time, people will do it all the time and continue to do so. With boundaries, they will look for easier targets.
Guard your time - be firm and turn down requests that aren't a priority to you.
Really when you stop and think, are all those yeses worth it? We commit to something, and then the doubt sets in, so we try to get out of it with either all the excuses, telling the truth, or lies. All of this leads to unnecessary anguish, stress, and resentment.
Honestly, we shouldn't be afraid to let others down at the cost of our own happiness!! Say it with me - no, no, no!
Leesa Watt, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Leesa Watt is an award-winning anxiety coach. She experienced debilitating anxiety and panic attacks for many years which derailed the life she was living and the future she had planned. Instead of accepting a limited fate that was out of her control, Leesa rose to the challenge to make anxiety her Superpower. Thankfully she did as she then set out on the journey to support her own children through varying anxiety diagnoses. Leesa knew she wanted to help others understand that they may experience anxiety but it does not need to control their lives. Her greatest passion is to help the anxious have the confidence to live their best life.
Leesa is an author of Amazon #1 bestseller: 'The Conscious You'.