Written by: Odi Adelakun, Guest Writer
Love… the four-letter word. When we hear or see the word love, we tend to gravitate to someone close to us such as our loved ones, family, spouse/partner, our children or even pets. People tend to see love in the areas of serving and caring for others. According to the dictionary, love is defined as “a profound tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment…” (Collin English Dictionary, 2023). This is one definition of love but is not the only area where love is important. Loving yourself is another level of love which requires self-care and attention on a daily basis.
Why is it important to love yourself first?
It is important to note, loving yourself first has to be acknowledged and requires some dedication and time for personal growth. When self-care overflows personally in your life it provides the required energy to give to another person. For example, to provide adequate love to a spouse or a loved one, you require rest, proper care for your health, mental capacity to extend it to others, and some level of spiritual health which all encompasses the triad of the body, mind and spirit.
Taking care of me first
The guilt that comes at times is taking time away to take of ourselves. We tend to lay it aside, brush it off until we have time and then it ends up never being accomplished. Taking care of me first requires you to be open and receptive on focusing on yourself each and every day including making time for you. Going to the spa, getting a massage, taking a walk, or going on a last-minute trip is all self-care and it helps to bring out the best of you. It will look different for each person and the time of life you are in. Young parents may not have time to get away, but can find some time by asking for help to step away for a few hours to do something they love. A working person may have to schedule the “me” time each month in order to plan ahead to get away. Each person is not on the same level and we need to stop looking at what others are doing and focus on what works and make it happen.
Self-care requires scheduling time out of your day. One thing that people tend to forget is to ask for help to find a balance. As a society, there is a stigma on doing everything and using all of our time for others, leaving no time for ourselves.
A few tricks to increase self-love on a daily basis
Start your day with you. Set up a routine where you are allowing time to do some things that are nourishing and healing for you. This may require you to wake up a little bit early to spend time with what you love to do. Some examples: taking a walk, meditating, reading a chapter of a book, and journaling.
Take good care of your physical body. When you are being mindful of your health including the foods you eat, your hydration, and also finding ways to move your body, you are loving yourself.
Make the days you have off your “vacation days”. In my book “Rest finding Yourself as a Woman Again”, I give some insight on looking forward to your 2-3 days off as your “mini-vacations”. When you look at it in a different perspective, you will use those days and enjoy them.
Learn to say no. No is a full sentence. You do not need to pull yourself in all directions. Learn to delegate and find time for other things that can fill your cup.
Ask for help. If you are making time to enjoy your life, sometimes you need help through your journey in life. Remember we are here to help each other. Be open to help and speak up if you need time for yourself or have too much on your plate.
Loving each area is the way to bring balance with self and love. Look at yourself in the mirror each day and speak life into yourself. Tell yourself how much you are loved and needed in this world. You do matter and the more you love yourself, the more you are able to be there for your loved ones and others.
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Odi Adelakun, Brainz Magazine Guest Writer
Odi Adelakun-The Rest Coach is a best-selling author, self-care coach, motivational speaker with a Master’s Degree in Nursing. Odi has a weekly podcast called Finding Rest with Odi Adelakun which helps to inspire others to find rest in her journey. You can find all updated information on her linktree bio https://linktr.ee/odiadelakun.
