Written by Bhavna Megh, Mindset & Energy Coach
With over two decades of international experience in human behavior and development, Bhavna is dedicated to inner growth. Raised in London with a logical/scientific education, she initially sought to rationalize the unexplainable. However, through personal healing experiences and connecting with the Source, Universe, God, she embraced the "magic" and developed a deep trust in it.
Explore powerful insights into improving relationships beyond the romantic sphere. Discover Bhavna Megh’s expert tips for enhancing communication, taking ownership of your experiences, and healing past wounds to foster deeper connections.
When it comes to enhancing relationships, many immediately focus on romantic connections. However, relationships extend far beyond the romantic realm. From interactions with colleagues to daily exchanges with technology, every interaction reflects our innermost relationship—with ourselves.
Here, we delve into common relationship hurdles and offer practical advice to enrich your connections.
That's not what I meant
One of the most common issues in relationships is the communication of information that is not actually what we meant. There are two parts to play with here;
The communicator is responsible for how well the communication is understood, and
The communicator's ability to articulate what they actually desire vs. what they think they should say
When we take responsibility for the other person's understanding, then we explore more aspects of language, and we allow ourselves to enter their frame of the world to know what words and meanings they have.
Wow!
To enter another person's perspective of the world is an incredible skill. It means speaking to them in their frame of things, their perspective.
This is what advertising and marketing professionals, and even politicians, are well trained in – to use the words that you use to communicate.
Whilst it's an incredible skill, it can be quite exhausting if it's not something that comes to you naturally or comfortably.
Sometimes, you just want to express what you want to express in the way that you want to express it.
Right?!?
It's not me, it's them, it's their problem
This one is a doozy! It requires an open mind to accept that everything is a co-creation – even the relationship with my laptop. Everything can be in complete harmony, and everything can be in complete chaos, and it can be anything and everything in between. All of it is a created experience. All of it is a reflection of your inner world.
So when you're having a hard time with someone else, and it appears as though you've been the one to make all of the effort and they've made none, and you feel mad about it – the experience is your creation.
It's pretty hard to hear, I know.
The more I've explored my actions, my reaction, my emotional state, and worked on bringing this into more balance, the more ease I've experienced.
I'm not going to lie; it is not always fun or easy, and there have been times I've put something off because I didn't want to look at it. Then I put it off some more, and then some more – until the voice in my head and my body take over and 'bam!' I drop into my body, and the release can begin.
After the release… more flow and ease.
The annoying, frustrating experience you were having before with that person finds a way to dissolve too.
An example was when I had a challenging colleague. I was frequently chasing her on the completion of work; she would make sly attempts to delegate work back to me or someone else, and the work she produced was of poor quality or incomplete. She didn't report to me, so all I could do was raise the work quality concern. I expressed my frustration with my manager, who also saw some of this playing out. I wondered about the ways that I could "support" her exit from the business. In the end, I did a stress release process for the mental stress and emotional frustration I was experiencing and to invite in peace, ease, and calm, and that I work with people who are supportive and do good work.
A day later, I kid you not, she resigned. It was totally not in my field of possibilities of how she would leave the business – but I laughed because I trust that the universe gives me what I desire in a way that I least expect.
I changed my inner state of being, let the stress go (so I'm not attracting more of this), invited my desired state and frequency in (so I am attracting more of this), and the external environment adjusted to match.
The past comes back to haunt you
Hurt, heartbreak, and broken trust from previous relationships (and all the other past stuff) does not go away easily, and unfortunately, it does impact new and even longer-term relationships.
As we go into new relationships, we can find that things our partner does that are like a previous partner and because we have a learned response from that relationship we will likely have that same response in this new one.
For example, if your last partner used to go out with his mates and be on the bender all night and then was a slob and super cranky the next day, and this was a regular thing, and you didn't like it, and he said he would not be home late, but then he ALWAYS was, and this was a became a bigger and bigger issue that contributed to the end of the relationship…well…
Your new partner tells you he's going out with his mates for one of their birthdays, and you get a niggly feeling. It turns into a late night, but he didn't make any promises that he would be home early. The next day, you're moody with him, you want to go out and do something, and he's hungover, so the day is wasted. You get mad at him for being inconsiderate.
Know that most of this is coming from that fully loaded baggage from your last relationship. You're responding in this way, partially out of the protection of yourself because you don't want to go down that path again and largely because this has become your learned response.
You're likely feeling devasted and thinking, "How did I end up here again!?!"
Changing the tides in relationships
The most powerful thing I've learnt over the years about relationships is that the one we need to master is the longest one that we have. Our relationship with ourselves. When we do that, even if it's baby steps over a long period of time, we experience more joy in our internal relationship and more joy in our external relationships (all of them). The best part is that anything or anyone that doesn't align goes away (it's like they know that it doesn't fit anymore).
So, word of caution first – your whole life may change!
Tip 1: Elevate your communication
You're probably thinking, "Duh!" with this one.
Yes, being able to have good communication with your partner, parents, children, and colleagues is important, but that's not where I'm going with this.
This tip is all about your communication with you. That's right, you! All those adults, teachers, and kids who teased you and told you to stop talking to yourself, you can look back at all of them and say, "I was being in the most important relationship of all, the one with me."
Talking to yourself…this is not about flippant words, reminding yourself to grab the car keys, calling yourself an idiot for messing something up…you can still do all of those things except maybe the last one (always be kind to yourself), this is about real talk.
Asking questions, stating facts true or false and remembering how your mind, body and heart all communicate with you in subtle and loud ways.
Fine-tuning and raising awareness of how your whole system communicates and the messages it provides is going to start you down a more connected and more wholesome path with relationships with all people and things.
Tip 2: Take ownership of your experience
The worst thing you can do in life is give others credit (or blame) for the creation of any aspect of it.
Ever notice how you blame someone else when you're having an amazing time in life? No?!? Of course not; we happily take credit and are maybe grateful for other's contributions to the good stuff, but it's usually something like "what an amazing manifestation of mine".
Certainly, and unfortunately, not what we utter when things are in the pooper.
This tip is all about acknowledging the amazing manifestation of all of the poop as your manifestation.
Owning and being accountable for all of it is to be in ownership of all of your immense and infinite Creator being.
Tip 3: Healing vast wounds
Like the tips above, I'm sure this one is obvious too. There's a reason that they are obvious because they are valid and true.
When you start practising Tip 1 and Tip 2, you will be much better positioned to start healing the past.
Being able to empty out our baggage, whatever the size or volume, will begin to create space to have a more balanced relationship with yourself and, of course, with others.
I aim to have no more than carry-on baggage from one relationship to another. I choose to reflect, heal and honour all the parts of myself that have experienced the pain. Talk to the aspects of me that created the poop to acknowledge, change, and heal that.
So why the carry-on baggage? Why not heal everything first? Because I may not see it. Relationships will mirror and bring forth that which we believe we've healed or that which has not come into our awareness yet. Relationships provide us feedback on our internal state of being so we can, if we so choose, transform and release some more.
All of these tips require intentional practice. As with many things, when you become more practiced they will become second nature.
The beauty with all of this is that it is already a part of your nature. This is how you naturally be. So, the more you practice, the more you remember who you truly be.
Ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and relationship transformation? Schedule a complimentary Discovery Call with Bhavna to explore personalised strategies for revitalising your connections.
Bhavna Megh, Mindset & Energy Coach
With over two decades of international experience in human behavior and development, Bhavna is dedicated to inner growth. Raised in London with a logical/scientific education, she initially sought to rationalize the unexplainable. However, through personal healing experiences and connecting with the Source, Universe, God, she embraced the "magic" and developed a deep trust in it. Bhavna, who comes from a lineage of energy healers spanning four generations, combines research and experimentation to demonstrate the transformative power of her tools and processes. Her commitment to continuous learning and personal application allows her to embody her teachings and guide others on their journey toward self-discovery.
