Written by: Mark D. Lakowske, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I believe that you have all the inner resources needed to make the necessary adjustments in thoughts, feelings & behaviors that will create & lead to the outcomes & life that you desire. All of those attributes are stored inside of you in a file labeled “Resilience”
Whether you are aware of it or not, you ARE resilient! It’s resilience that has gotten you through some of your toughest times and it’s resilience that will move you forward and keep you going.
When I think of resilience I can’t help but think of the Phoenix. The mythical fire-bird who eternally is born anew from the ashes of its former self.
As a Scorpio, the Phoenix is not only one of my many symbols, but more than that it’s a reminder that even through the flames of hardships we can always begin again. We can always start over. We may never be who we once were, but we can burn brighter in a new way. This has been a touchstone in my life. It’s something that I want you to remember too. No matter how hard things get you’ve gotten through before, you will again and you’ll be better for it in some way.
Even when you didn’t even realize it, resilience has flown in to assist you. I know it did in my life.
Resilience was there when I was born three months premature and should have died the first night. When the Doctors said, “IF he lives he will most likely be blind, short and mentally handicapped”. Resilience said “He will see, He will be 6’2” tall and he will have a mind that is unique, creative and thinks beyond”. I was teased and bullied in school for being me and not being like everyone else. Resilience told me “Why would you want to be like everyone else? You were born for greater things that will be important”.
Between 2007-2009 I was brought into the darkest, most dangerous place of chaos I’ve ever experienced. During the events of that time I was filled with guilt, shame, hurt, despair, anger…my emotions ran the gamut, unlike anything I had ever experienced before or since. I was exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally…I remember feeling like my spirit was cracking with the extreme pressure of it all.
Through that, I learned the most interesting and amazing thing. When you feel like your heart is breaking, spirit cracking and it feels like darkness is crowding in all around you…it's then, through those cracks the light and fire of resilience can shine through.
It’s at that moment we see where we’re at and it’s from that place we have the opportunity to make a new choice. Do we stay in it and crumble? Or do we create a change and head towards something better to rise again and be reborn out of the ashes.
In my experience, my choice was to leave that situation and in doing so I gained my life. It showed me how to trust my gut, to take chances and to change if I need/want, to know what is right for me and to make choices & boundaries that are healthy.
I think if resilience had a “catchphrase” it would be something along the lines of — “There is something more for you. I will see you through and help you create new — if you’ll choose it and go towards it.”
Resilience is a force, that voice that tells you to keep going, keep striving for something more, be true to the core of who you are, continually transform into someone greater by shedding the skin of the old unwanted aspects that don’t serve you any longer and trust.
Trust is a hard one for many people but thinks of a snake shedding its skin to grow. It knows it must do this to become more and during the process, it can be tough wiggling through what it’s outgrown. For a time as its former self covers its eyes, it actually can’t see its way out…so it has to trust that if it just keeps going eventually the veil will lift into new light and a new self.
If you want to reactivate your resilience you can rewire your mind by incorporating the following three mindset tips.
1. Depersonalize your struggle
The thought or saying “It’s all my fault” is a story that a lot of people tell themselves.
They feel that they are to blame for the hardships they endure. The truth is that you are not to blame for your hard knocks. Recognize that challenges are part of life and not your fault. See challenges as stepping stones that you have to go through in order to gain something better/different.
2. Remember life has ebb and flow
I understand that sometimes in our experiences it feels like it will always be this way and that things will never change…but life IS about change and nothing is permanent. As they say, “this too shall pass”. Remember it’s despair’s job to try to convince you that things will always be the way they are. While hope will gently be by your side nudging & reminding you that there will be a better tomorrow. You will develop a more resilient mindset when you believe that your circumstances can and will change. Tell yourself “This is temporary. This will not last forever. I can get through this tough period. My success rate for getting through tough times is 100%.”
3. Challenge the perception
You may think that you are someone who just has bad luck and things always just
happen to you…but what if instead of things happening to you, things were happening for you? If you feel predestined to be a victim then the circumstances of your life will always look bleak & get darker. If however, you challenged the notion of “happening TO you” vs “happening FOR you”, then that challenges the permanence of bad in your life and as a result every aspect of your existence will seek out the good. I suggest having gratitude practice. It's a great way to counter the negative effects of adversity. You can ask yourself “What’s good right now”? Or “How much better can things be”? If something isn’t the way you want, what can you appreciate about it? Don’t take “nothing” for an answer!
If you are alive that means you were born with resilience inside of you. Life may have made you consciously forget that…but subconsciously you know that resilience is your natural nature. You can do anything you set your mind to! Be the Phoenix!
To help you jump start your resilience please enjoy my “Reactivating your Resilience” Hypnosis Audio!
No matter where you are in the world, If you need support and help to quickly and easily change your life and live happier I’m here for you. Please feel free to reach out to me here!
Your Favorite Hypnotist, Mark D. Lakowske CTC® CMHT®
Mark D. Lakowske, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Multiple award-winning & internationally renowned clinical hypnotherapist Mark D. Lakowske has trained practitioners worldwide in his groundbreaking methods. Through this and his own practice, he has helped improve the lives of tens of thousands of people in countries ranging from the United States to Australia & New Zealand. Mark is an author of three books & regularly tours the world, contributing ideas to the development of hypnotherapy practice. His passion & drive is assisting people to overcome the overwhelming & live with more confident joy & happiness!
