Written by: Dani Green, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Self-control is a myth. Okay, maybe it is just me. I need more self-control to meet my health, business, and relational goals. I could eat better, exercise more vigorously, and be more actively loving. On the other hand, I am who I am.
Nature and nurture
All the influences make us who we are: our parents, siblings, environment, circumstances, genetics, body chemistry, and even past lives. Some people take a moral stance on self-control, as though we are solely responsible for our ‘good or bad’ choices. Our choices are affected by nature and nurture.
We might find ourselves in a behavioral trance we do not have self-control to get out of. How can violence happen except that we are literally out of our minds? However, Love provides us with opportunities to seek help when our thoughts become harmful and before our actions lead us astray.
The subconscious mind affects up to 95% of our beliefs and behaviors. We receive both empowering impulses and impulses that are not good for us in the long run from our subconscious mind. Addressing issues at the subconscious level through hypnosis is very effective. Even taking the time to breathe deeply, meditate on something positive, and distract ourselves with an action that pulls our thoughts away from the triggering situation is helpful in changing our brain function.
The survival brain
We have a primitive survival brain that reacts out of instinct. The programming of the survival brain tries to eliminate pain and adhere to anything that brings pleasure, even if the substance or behavior is harmful when repeated.
Our energy level matters
We usually have more self-control in the morning than in the evening. The energy we expend each day wears down our capacity to make beneficial choices. We can build our energy back up by deep breathing, drinking water, meditating on something positive, stretching, or even running in place!
Stages and states
I learned about ‘stages’ and ‘states’ in the book Integral Recovery by John Dupuy. Stages are the levels of development we achieve in a lifetime. Addiction and harmful thoughts pull us down to lower stages and we can de-evolve. However, any higher stage of development we previously achieved remains. If we build a three-story house and find ourselves on the first floor, the third floor is always still available.
States are how we feel moment by moment. When we engage in behavior that releases stress, our survival brain repeatedly wants to do behave in the same way. When we experience a craving, our body and brain do what they are programmed to do. If we learn to let the state pass, knowing it will last from 15 seconds to 15 minutes, we can reprogram our body and brain. Our body and brain are asking for a change of state because of stress, tension, or anger. We can achieve a change of state by simply changing state. It is easier said than done. Understanding who we truly are may help the process.
The essence of who we are
The essence of who we are is our mind, spirit, and soul but because we live in a body, we spend much time navigating our physical experience. Our Mind can be understood as the universal connection to all knowledge. Our Spirit is the energy that fills our body. Our Soul is our infinite divine connection with Love/Source/God. Our physical body allows us to experience the physicality of this lifetime. Our physical body is also the container through which we can experience our mind, spirit, and soul.
While waiting for a state of being to pass, the best place to go is to our mind, spirit, and soul. When our outer world influences us, we can go to our inner spiritual world. We can recall the best knowledge available to us through our mind by focusing on our brain function. We can imagine love filling the cells of our body through our spirit which can fill an emotional need. We can also imagine and feel the light of our soul connecting with the light of the sun, moon, stars, and the infinite universe. Any of these changes of state will help us to pull away from the primitive needs of our brain and body to achieve a higher level of consciousness and a healthier physical state.
Finally, hypnosis helped me stop drinking
My parents were addicted to alcohol. They both stopped drinking because alcohol was ruining their lives. After I was married, I did not drink for 25 years because I did not want to ruin our children’s childhood. When they moved out of the house, I thought it would be safe for me to drink. Seeing all the red flags, I spent the next 13 years trying not to drink alcohol. I had a good life and thought I could manage alcohol. I became addicted to feeling impaired. Drinking alcohol relieved stress and calmed my stomach aches. As an introvert, alcohol helped me to feel detached relationally. My primitive survival brain was in charge. Finally, I found a hypnosis strategy that took away my need for alcohol so I could easily return to the stage in my life when I did not drink alcohol.
Self-control Is not a myth
We have many tools and opportunities to achieve our life goals. I talk to my clients about the importance of resolve. When we have resolve we will meet our goals! If our thoughts and behaviors are pulling us down to a lower stage of being, we must promise ourselves to keep looking for solutions. Self-control is beyond our reach when we give up. Never give up! Look for solutions and you will achieve self-control. Self-control is possible! You got this!
Let Dani be your guide to self-control
As a hypnotherapist, Dani offers a free 20-minute The Emotion Code session, which helps energetically remove an inherited or current emotion.
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Dani Green, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dani Green is a certified hypnotherapist, speaker, author and spiritual activist. Dani’s core focus and passion is to guide clients to rewrite the past, present, and future Story they tell themselves at the subconscious level and to discover their own Inner Mantras.
Dani has a 12-session course called The Soul Power Experience. The courses, Be Smoke Free and One & D.O.N.E. Weight Release are each six sessions. Dani also offers Intuitive sessions.
Dani opened her hypnotherapy practice in 2015 and uses client-centered hypnotherapy, as well as The Emotion Code, PSYCH-K, and RIM.