How To Unlock Your Inner Peace – The Healing Power Of Forgiveness
- Nov 23, 2023
- 6 min read
Written by: Hedi Schaefer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Inner Peace is a state of being that is not often talked about. Especially as we are approaching yet another holiday season with tons of opportunities for stress, expectations and conflict.
Inner peace is when you not only feel relaxed, safe and fine with yourself and the world around you. It’s when your nervous system is regulated and your breath is calm. The threats and judgments from within and outside stopped. And thus, as the state-dependent being you are, you can step into your creator self with strong decision-making, boundary-setting, and solution-finding capabilities.
Inner peace in our highly demanding world is not a nice thing to have anymore. It’s a must.
But how do we create the inner peace state? Start within
Most people have it backwards, believing that the environment, outer circumstances, and people who create disharmony and conflicts need to change for them to finally feel that inner peace. The truth, and the good news, is that in order to create your desired state, you should start to work with yourself. And change your surrounding from an empowered state. You cannot change anybody around you, and waiting for them to change is often a waste of time. And can cause more disharmony and stress within.
Inner peace is created by letting go of what creates friction within
The opposite of peace is war, we all know that. But war is not only a destructive phenomenon in our outside world. But it can be fighting, hurting and bleeding inside, too. For the most part, this inner struggle is caused by events that happened a long time ago, when we were little children unable to make sense of hurtful events fully, process them, and stand up for ourselves.
But: if it is not processed and thus let go of, it can trigger and live within us a lifetime. As if it had just happened. Over again.
Letting go of what keeps you stuck in the past
Letting go of the old and limiting past, the old story, and the pain is essential to emotional freedom and inner peace.
But how?
What we don’t get taught enough is that our inner selves function like hard drives. There are parts that, when outdated, can do a lot of harm. And we need to delete certain parts when they are blocking us from running smoothly and more freely.
Who's in for an update?!
Now, we are not computers, of course. So what we need as human beings is to create space and free ourselves from old, damaging baggage by using a simple, step-by-step method.
Forgiveness is the key
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." Lewis B. Smedes
Forgiveness is scientifically proven to be one of the best ways to release pain, experiences, and stuck negative energy in your body. It is one of the easiest ways to get rid of emotions that are no longer serving you. (see research by Enright, R.D. and Fitzgibbons, R.P. (2000) American Psychological Association)
When you forgive, you no longer hold the energy of blame, grudge, fear or grief inside of you, and from that state, you upgrade your relationship with yourself (as an act of self-love) and create more meaningful relationships around you.
Because the triggering and projection simply stop.
You set yourself free and leap into a state of inner peace.
When you forgive, you are breaking the cycle of the replay in your head—being a victim of your circumstances and past.
“Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.” Denice Frohman
And with active forgiveness, you are taking responsibility big time.
Practice the number 1 forgiveness exercise, Ho´oponopono
Ho’oponopono is a structured forgiveness ritual that has been used in Hawaii for many generations. According to legend, it has existed for centuries to clear the energy of communities and heal relationships.
Ho'oponopono means "put right" or "putting things right" both for oneself and for others, who are not even part of the ritual!
According to Einstein, “everything is energy” and we can clear negative energies through acknowledgement (like shining light on the shadow or "the monster under your bed") and transmute them with a higher vibration like forgiveness, gratitude and love.
Even if we cannot fully understand this process (don't worry!), we can feel the difference before and after using the mantra.
Let’s give it a try. Are you ready?
The Hooponopono mantra contains 4 simple sentences.
They are:
I'm sorry
Please forgive me
I thank you
I love you
Why these specific sentences?
You see, the first sentence acknowledges that this pain is there and, up to this point, did not get the attention it deserved. When you forgive another person, you apologize that things did not work out as they potentially could have in a perfect world. In short, by shining light on the shadow, you help it transmute.
The following three sentences are dissolving the pain with higher vibrations such as forgiveness (“please forgive me,” i.e., for not trying harder or for letting this relationship go now, as you’ve tried enough), gratitude ("I thank you," i.e., for the lessons you’ve learned and will never repeat or the good times you’ve shared), and love ("I love you," i.e., for you being a very big person and expressing unconditional love).
I know that doing it the first time might seem like the wrong thing to do, as you are forgiving the person who hurt you. Am I right?
But you look at this smart method simply as an energetic trick because you can clear any negative charge with higher vibrations. And again, we are responsible for the energy, the negative charge, that is inside us. Care enough about yourself to take this leap of self-care and self-love by taking responsibility for your energy.
Who can you forgive?
The simple answer is, in my experience, and I’ve used this method hundreds of times: anyone.
It's about the energetic charge that lives on inside you, so you can do this with deceased people as well as those who are alive.
I always recommend starting the ritual once (about 10 minutes) with yourself, as often forgiving yourself for stupid decisions, pains you unintentionally caused those you love, and for letting people take advantage of you can take so much shame and grudge away already. And starting with yourself is a good training to get used to the ritual, too.
The ritual, step by step
Withdraw: Find a quiet space where you can do this ritual uninterrupted. Open this Hooponopono Meditation video for support (YouTube Link), or set a timer to 10 min.
Decide: Decide on who you want to focus on for the next few minutes of the cleansing mantra. I recommend you do one person at a time and one person for one round (10 minutes). Take a break for one day after that and come back for the same person if needed, or another person you intuitively think of.
Do: Imagine yourself or the person you want to forgive, and then repeat the 4-sentence mantra repeatedly out loud or in your head. As if you would talk to this person in your mind's eye. It helps to get into a meditative state first by closing the eyes and taking deep breaths. Don't make this complicated. Once you decide on who you are forgiving and just focus on the four sentences, you should get an emotional response quickly.
Acknowledge: Value every emotion coming up. It's the stuck energy you want to release by crying, breathing, and feeling. Feel it to heal it.
Wow, I am cheering you on. And I'm so curious to hear about your results.
Always remember: Forgiveness is a superpower, “weak people revenge, smart people forgive” A. Einstein
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, and YouTube, or visit my website for more info!
Hedi Schaefer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Hedi Schaefer is a leader in work-life innovation through identity work, and future skills. An identity crisis and depression made her question herself and work-lifestyle as a jet-setting innovation consultant. She understood that to create a business and life based on true passion, purpose, ease, and flow, the key is inner work. Hedi created strategies to shift dramatically and turn everything around. She has since dedicated her life to helping others do the same and become the authentic changemaker and creative leader they wish to be. She is CEO of the Hedi Schaefer Academy, the online hub for Work-Life Innovation, an author, and a speaker. Her mission: Light up and lead! inspires people across the globe.
