Feeling Shame While Looking For Work? You Are Not Alone
Updated: Jan 14, 2023
Written by: Michelle Schafer, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This year, I'm committing myself to embrace "slow" more in my life – part of this is more consistently engaging in a short meditation each day (I'm a fan of Jeff Warren's "Daily Trip" on the Calm app).
"Shame is a psychological autoimmune disease – the mind trying to eat itself." ‒ Jeff Warren
The quote above popped up in yesterday’s meditation.
It made me think of my clients who are currently looking for work – especially those clients looking for work because of business decisions made for them – not made by them. I have worked with some clients who have felt such deep shame about the fact they were looking for work – so much so, they wouldn't tell supportive people in their circle. Finding their next job took a long time as a result – the feelings of disappointment and embarrassment were barriers to a large number of job search activities. And the shame ran deep. Shame over having been let go from a job they enjoyed and a company they were loyal to. Shame over applying for jobs and not getting interviews – or getting interviews and not getting the job. Shame over needing to ask for help – from anyone. Shame over not being able to provide for themselves (or their families) in the way they have been accustomed to. If you are looking for work and feeling shame over your job loss, know you are not alone. And now there are lots of supportive resources out there to help. I've experienced two significant career transitions (both due to restructuring) – I remember feeling that same shame myself. You are likely looking for a new job because of a business decision – the harsh reality is business decisions affect humans, sometimes in profound ways. And it sucks. So what can you do?
Be kind to yourself – remind yourself you are not alone, and this is not your "forever place". Remind yourself of the things you are doing to find your next job – every step counts.
·Engage with free resources in your community – in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada the Pinecrest-Queensway Employment Services, JHS Community Employment Resource Centre and the Ottawa Employment Hub have excellent resources to consult. You can also meet others who are experiencing a similar situation and can be supportive as they know what it’s like to look for work.
Share your struggles with others in your circle – if your friend experienced a job loss, would you hope they would reach out to you and let you know? Chances are the answer to that is "yes". To apply the same thinking to yourself – people want to help.
Reach out to professional resources – if you find it consistently hard to get motivated for your job search or take any steps to move forward, seeking professional support can help.
Do something each day to feed your soul – something that has nothing to do with your job search.
What else would you add to this list? If you are reading this and see yourself, remember you are not alone and there is lots of support around you. And if you know someone who is looking for work and struggling, then please feel free to share this post.
Michelle Schafer, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Michelle Schafer is an International Coaching Federation Certified Coach and Facilitator specializing in career transition and leadership. She is the owner and founder of Michelle Schafer Coaching, empowering people to achieve career fulfillment. Michelle has personally experienced two significant career transitions through restructuring and has reinvented herself for new careers both times. She deeply understands the physical, emotional and mental impact associated with a job search. Michelle is passionate about people and inspired by their progress, working with clients at all levels of an organization and across sectors including federal and municipal government, high tech, not-for-profit and financial services. Michelle offers coaching 1:1 in groups and recently was certified in the foundations of team coaching with the Global Team Coaching Institute.
