Breaking Out Of Your Imposter Narrative – Exclusive Interview With Angeline Chan

Angeline is a holistic life and career coach who has a background in tech and struggled with her imposter narrative for years. After a kick-in-the-butt moment at work when she realized that her imposter narrative was not in fact serving her and helping her excel, but instead sabotaging her, she embarked on a journey to overcome her imposter narrative. Now, she is living authentically and confidently, without the weight of her imposter feelings weighing down on her.

Through her coaching practice, she now helps others (especially women in tech) to conquer their imposter narratives and thrive in their career without the negative feelings about their competence weighing them down.

Angeline Chan, Holistic Life & Career Coach

What inspired you to focus on coaching women in the tech industry and empowering them to conquer their imposter narrative?

I actually have a degree in Computer Science and started my career in the software development industry, initially as a software developer, then an IT Business Analyst. I was also an Agile coach and trainer, and in my career worked closely with clients and the many different roles involved in the ideation and development of a project. I was passionate about agile software development, and I dabbled a little in almost everything, including QA testing, user interviews, user testing and training, even doing a voiceover for a promotional video!

I went through different challenges in my career, thinking that my professional development was reliant on the career pathway that was set out in the organization I was in, and I let my imposter syndrome control me, never feeling confident enough about my abilities. When someone asked me something that implied that I was an expert in that area, I’d feel really uncomfortable, and feared that they would find out that I was actually incompetent and secretly an imposter.

When I later worked for a radically different company and was surrounded by confident, outspoken, and extremely talented colleagues, my imposter syndrome went on overdrive, and it was then I realized how my imposter narrative was affecting my mental health and causing me to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors.

That was when I really started my journey to conquer my imposter narrative, and over time, I started being able to do things I never imagined I could do previously, including advocating for my own promotion, and switching my career into coaching.

After realizing how much I have changed since my early career, I decided to take my learnings and help other women in tech who are going through the same thing. If there was one thing I

learned: without the right support and guidance, it can be difficult to realize that things can be different, and actually make lasting changes for ourselves.

How did your experiences and learnings shape the specific strategies and techniques you incorporate into your coaching for women in tech? Are there any key lessons or insights that particularly influence your coaching approach?

1 key thing I’ve learned is that you do not have to be perfect in order to be confident.

Confidence does not mean perfection. Being a minority in the industry, I used to be worried about showing up less than perfect, and when I ended up not being great at something, I felt so disappointed in myself. I was worried that I would be reinforcing the thoughts of others that women just aren’t good in tech. This might not even be conscious discrimination on their part, just an unconscious bias that they’ve perhaps internalized through media, or heard from their elders. I wanted to prove them wrong, and was terrified of proving them right when I tried something new.

I believe in agile principles such as responding to our environment and our learnings, and in continuous improvement, and these come out in my coaching as well. I do not expect learning to be done once my clients complete my programme; the skills and learnings from the coaching and the programme should equip my clients to continue their journey in making continuous improvement, both in advancing in their career and in their ability to conquer their imposter syndrome and become authentically confident.

What practical advice or strategies would you offer women who experience imposter syndrome?

The first, and arguably the most important step, is to start becoming aware of how your imposter narrative manifests and impacts you in your daily life. We can be so used to reacting to our surrounding situations unconsciously, that we don’t even realize it’s happening. We just feel the stress, the pressure, and the unhappiness, and we don’t even realize where it’s coming from, or that our imposter narrative and inner critic is actually the one causing these issues.

In fact, some of us may even think it’s actually serving us, that the toll on us is just a price we need to pay to succeed. I’m not ashamed to say that this was me as well. However, research from the Imposter Syndrome Institute has shown that the costs of imposter syndrome include:

• Holding yourself back from sharing ideas, or taking up more challenging opportunities or assignments

• Being overlooked for promotions

• Procrastination
  

None of that sounds like it’s to your benefit, does it?

The problem is that we have likely heard from our parents or educators that this “tough love” is what helps us excel and do well, and it probably seemed like it served us then, whether it was with these authority figures, or in the education system.

As a result, this behavior can be something we unconsciously fall back to. One tip I have found to uncover when my imposter syndrome is at play, is to pay attention to the negative emotions I’m feeling: especially shame, and the pressure I put on myself or a feeling of defensiveness that comes up when I want to prove myself to someone. These feelings tend to be linked to my imposter syndrome, and can trigger self-sabotaging behaviors.

For example, if I apply pressure on myself and think I need to reach really high expectations should I take on a new role or opportunity, I may hold myself back from volunteering for it, or advocating for myself to take on this new role or promotion.

It’s only when you recognise the negative impacts your imposter narrative is having on you that you’ll actually get the motivation to start taking action, and recognise the growth that you undergo when you finally start conquering your imposter syndrome!

Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today.

That moment for me was COVID. My husband and I were living in 2 different countries, could no longer visit each other, and I would not be able to work remotely from overseas. That was when I sat down, reflected, researched what my options were, and what I wanted my future to look like.

This brought about a series of transitions that I needed to navigate, including leaving my career in tech and into coaching, moving to a country that spoke a different language, and even motherhood!

While it was tough, I am grateful for everything that has happened. If it weren’t for COVID, I probably wouldn’t have started my coaching practice, and found my calling to help others who are experiencing the negative effects of their imposter narrative!

I noticed you called this your “calling”. Why do you think it’s important for you to share your story and help others conquer their imposter syndrome?

A study in 2020 showed that up to 80% of people actually experience imposter feelings, and as a result engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. This could be through giving themselves unnecessary stress and pressure, by actually taking an action that works against them, or holding themselves back from taking on opportunities that are actually aligned with what they want.

I've also spoken to people who have struggled with it for so long, that they think it's just something they have to live with, and that nothing can actually be done about it.

I think it's important for people to know that it IS possible to change. While these feelings may still surface from time to time, it does not need to control you and your actions. I was my worst critic to the point that I really hated myself as a child and young adult, and I had really strong people-pleasing tendencies. I was in a hierarchical culture for so long that when someone with some authority told me that I was lacking in something, I'd feel like a complete failure. This permeated every part of my life.

The me back then would probably never imagine what I'm doing right now, nor imagine that I would be able to handle my imposter feelings the way I do now. So if I can do it, so can others. They need to know that. And I’d love to help them through their journey, because if there’s one thing I learnt, figuring it out on your own can be extremely challenging!

If you would like to start taking action to conquer your imposter syndrome RIGHT NOW, you can do so by attending my free masterclass to learn how your imposter narrative might be impacting you, and how you can start making a change so that you can excel and advance in your career without feeling like an imposter!

Read more from Angeline Chan