Written by: Aaron Douglas, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever heard something that sounded too good to be true? Have you ever felt like someone was trying to get you to do something you did not want to do? How about have you ever felt like no matter how many times you say no it is always that one person who keeps pulling you to say yes? Now now, do not worry, you are not alone at all. A lot of others daily go through this form of manipulation and are tired of it! After all, we all want to make sound and smart decisions, right? We have put together this step-by-step guide right here with the Top 3 Tips on how to recognize and be aware of deception in daily conversations, so you can begin to see and live a life free of manipulation. It is highly recommended you read and apply these 3 principles because if you do you are guaranteed to worry less and decrease your social anxiety. Without further ado let us get started.
Tip number 1: When in conversation listen to how quickly someone says what you can gain out of the interaction. What this does is leave out all the risks and only sell you on benefits.
The way ulterior motives show up in conversation first comes with someone always directing the topics you all discuss to you. It is absolutely imperative here to be aware of the speed at which they sell you on the benefits. The deceivers’ ultimate goal off the bat is to bait you into a quick buy-in so what they do is try to rush and quickly say to you what you gain out of the exchange, and leave all the risk conversation for another time ultimately putting you at risk. A similar way to think about it is like a roller coaster at the fair. When putting on that seatbelt for a ride you do not quite know if you are going to enjoy the ride until after the ride, but at first, you are sold fast on the excitement and how the rollercoaster looks. So, make sure here you are aware and attentive to intention.
Tip number 2: The next best way to be aware when someone is trying to deceive you is when you ask more questions and they seem to skip over the fine details.
In my experience, if people are not open and cannot give you the fine details and they are leaving things out, especially regarding the steps/process, the ultimate red flag is to run and run away fast, do not be tricked! Anyone open and honest about their intentions makes those intentions very clear and usually has a way to get to a result where we all can win and make it a win-win but those who hold their tongue are holding their magician card behind their back hoping you do not look any further to find the hidden pieces to the puzzle. This has happened to me personally many times, especially with partnerships or in business discussions, so steer clear here.
Tip number 3: Those who deceive try to redirect your focus only on their narrative, so they can put you into a trance and redirect your focus.
This is an important concept in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming.) There is this topic called suggestive commands. The concept says as long as I redirect the focus of your subconscious mind, I can input suggestions that sound like I am telling you what to do which allows you to be put into a trance-like state of awareness. Deceivers try to do this often. It is one of their greatest chances of getting immediate action on the task they hope to have you do. The first time I heard of this topic, I was like no way this cannot be true until I read this book called NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming. After reading the book by Tom Hoobyar, Tom Dotz, and Susan Sanders, and a small testing phase of the application, I began to see it work like clockwork. It sounds a little something like this: do you mind giving me that remote over there? Or how about this one, can you go to the store for me later, I am catching up on work. The first part sounds like I am asking for a favor although right behind that friendly gesture is the sneak attack of the command to your subconscious. This is one important concept to understand, no doubt, and can really open your awareness drastically.
Aaron Douglas, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Aaron Douglas is a leader in the interpersonal skill training, personal development, and empathetic communication arena. A humbling beginning left him speechless having to practice his speeches to enhance his communication abilities and pass his teachings to others. Although challenges arose like they often do, Aaron created mental strategies using word pattern recognition to be able to sell and negotiate business offerings in a plethora of industries some would say it is a majestic art of his communication style which leaves many wondering, how can I lead the exact same way you do. He has since dedicated his life to helping others unleash and unlock their ultimate potential.
References:
(Book) APA Citation:
Hoobyar, T., Dotz, T., & Sanders, S. (2023). NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (1st ed., p. 448). Harper Collins Publisher Inc.
Tip number 1 Citation/Reference:
Barlow, D. Cleve; Lee, Kwang O'o; and Brown, Bruce L. (1982) "The Effects of Manipulating Dialect and Intonation on Judge Ratings of Spontaneous and Calculated Answers," Deseret Language and Linguistic
Society Symposium: Vol. 8 : Iss. 1 , Article 11.
Available here.
Tip Number 3 Citation or Reference:
APA Citation: Suggestive statements with presuppositions. NLP Notes. (2015, October 5).
